How do I convince my dad?

[Apulu_3]

So yeah I'm in high school now (9th grade). And as it is a pretty serious period I take all my books (that are mentioned in time table) and the required notebooks. We have like 3 books for maths, 3 for English, 3 for 2nd language and so on. I take all of them. My dad says that I shouldn't take much books because my bag becomes very heavy. For me, no it isn't very heavy now at all. I don't want to get embarrassed in class or partially understand a class only because I didn't had the requirements that is why I take everything with me. I know he worries about me and I truly appreciate that but now that I'm grown up I don't feel uncomfortable handling that bag. It will take 1 week to arrange all the things in locker as I'm taking books according to the schedule not all at a time. So how do I convince my dad to let me take the books I want to?

[SweetFyter]

Well, you know I home-school so I sometimes have to carry books from my room ALL the way downstairs to the kitchen table!

But, seriously, aren't those lockers supposed to be for your books and such? Tell him once you get settled in, you'll keep your books there and just bring home the ones you need for homework, right?

[Apulu_3]

Yup lockers are for that but still I need to study in home too right? Mom won't allow me to keep everything in locker.

[SweetFyter]

Your mom won't allow you to keep stuff in your locker? I don't understand that. But if that's true, then what option do you have? What your mom says conflicts with what your dad says. Ask them, "I have books. Sometimes I need them at school. Sometimes I need them at home. YOU (Dad) say I can't carry all my books every day. YOU (Mom) say I can't leave any books in my locker. So, what am I supposed to do?"

I'm not trying to be mean, but do your parents ever talk to each other? This is nuts. This makes MY mom seem perfectly sane!!! HA

[Apulu_3]

Actually I had this very bad habit of leaving books in locker when I needed them in home for homework or studying. So my mom won't trust me now. She tells me to pick up books wisely and my bag's weight will be less. She doesn't really gives importance on whether I'm completely prepared for the class or not. She gives more importance in whether I'm prepared to study in home or not. I take the books because I don't want to be embarrassed by getting scolded for bring the books. Honestly I just want that they will trust me enough and let me study completely on my own in my way instead of always instructing what to do but not teaching me.

[SweetFyter]

@apulu_3
I TOTALLY get that - too much Momming and Dadding!!! For me, it's not my dad, it's my mom who seems to love rules and dictates and such. :|

[Apulu_3]

For me my mom is more of a strict person and my dad is the one who gives me more care and love than needed and treats me like a toddler lol.

[SweetFyter]

@apulu_3
HA - and dads are supposed to be the hard ones - not our dads, I guess.

Makes me think about something... what do my brothers think? Do they think Dad is the hard one and Mom the softie, or like me, the other way around? Do YOU have any brothers? What do they think?

[Apulu_3]

I have cousin brothers. From what I have observed is that Dads are soft for their daughters and moms are tough for their daughters. For boys, dads are tough for their sons and moms are soft for their sons. At least this is what I have observed in most cases.

[SweetFyter]

Well, that kind of makes sense. It would explain, for example, why my mom insists that I have clothes covering everything while she lets my bros walk around in boxers (which is ALMOST like nothing! So maybe it's not JUST because she's hard on me as the girl, but maybe also that she's soft on the bros because they're boys.

Well, it's STILL wrong but I guess she can't help it. But I will say if I have boys and girls, I won't have different sets of rules!

[Apulu_3]

I guess it is because you shouldn't wear revealing clothes since such a young age. It's not about adoration. For boys nothing is like that but for girls they need to be more careful about clothing.

[SweetFyter]

Ooo... hmmm... OK, *I* shouldn't wear "revealing clothing" at such a young age? Well, what is the magic number? It's not like I'm outside in a suburb walking around in panties on the front lawn for all the neighbors to see - it's in my home. And, what about my brothers. Not to be rude about it, but their boxers regularly "reveal" more than my panties ever could - because they are baggy and they have a gap in the front that's sometimes open when they sit - so THEY are definitely revealing their "parts" but nothing of mine would show if I walked around in panties. So, the point is, WHO is being "revealing?"

And THEN you say, "It's not about adoration. For boys nothing is like that but for girls they need to be more careful about clothing." Well, I admit I don't really understand that first sentence about adoration. But the second sentence - why do I need to be more careful than my brothers? Why?

I don't want to mislead, I do NOT wear revealing clothing when I go anywhere. I love dresses but will often wear jeans, instead, when we go into town or the city because it gets very windy here and I do not want strangers seeing my panties! So it's not about me being slutty or something - for me it's ALL about fairness and equity - ONE set of rules; no double-standards. But... I guess we're getting pretty far off the topic here. Sorry.

[Apulu_3]

Your brothers are boys so maybe due to that your mom is saying not to wear short dresses. I don't really know.

[SweetFyter]

@apulu_3
Well, yeah, it's hard to really talk about this in writing. But, again, I'm not so much concerned that my mom doesn't like me in short dresses or whatever (I don't want short dresses, anyway, because I don't want strangers seeing under my skirt). So it's NOT about the specific clothes - but it's about why *I* have different rules from my brothers.

Look at it this way - OK, Mom does not want me to walk around our house in just a bra and panties. Why not? Well, because (I guess) she doesn't think my brothers should see me in my bra and panties. SO, if THAT is true, then why is it permissible for THEM to walk around our house wearing just boxers (underwear)? Bras and panties are MY underwear, boxers are THEIR underwear. So why is it wrong for ME to let them see me in MY underwear, but it's OK for THEM to let me see THEM in THEIR underwear - ESPECIALLY when their underwear does NOT cover as much of them as mine does of me.

THIS is what I'm talking about. If I am prohibited from walking around in my underwear, THEY chould be prohibited the same (except for the bra, obviously). You know, I'm not even asking to walk around topless because they do - no, I'm just asking for the same privileges they have. It's REALLY hot here i the summers and we do not have air conditioning and I would love to NOT have to wear pants and a shirt all the time. I don't think that's too much to ask.

Finally, I really am sorry we're going off on this here. If you want, you can DM me and we can continue there but I feel like we're not even close to the topic anymore so I should shut up. But, it's YOUR topic so it's up to you, I guess! :D

[EspressoTeen234]

I thought when they say that they mean throughout the year like the first months you would have one book for one class. Tell him it’s spread out you will only be taking three total and not 9. I had this issue too I walk up a big hill walking home after school so having a heavy backpack for me isn’t very fun but it’s only a mile walk so it’s fine.

[Apulu_3]

Well for me I don't walk to school. My dad drops me to school yet he is so worried. Even though it is completely fine for me. And we have like 5-7 classes per day. And it's 3-4 notebook + books for each subject. Not like I'm carrying a locker behind me.

[EspressoTeen234]

@apulu_3

Oh okay than yeah I’m not sure how you would get him to think everything is okay.

[HighlyVolatile]

I did the same and actually had a 48lbs backpack filled with hardback textbooks since I didn't want to risk being late to class constantly visiting my locker to swap things out. I figure it was good training for my back anyway!

I think you can just tell your dad that you're a strong girl.

[Apulu_3]

Yeah I did tell him that but he won't take the reason. Honestly I feel bad when he drops me to school leaving all his work only because he can carry my bag till the school gate. I even said him, "Papa you are old man that is why you feel that it is heavy" lol but again he won't take this as reason.

[HighlyVolatile]

That's a tough one. Maybe you have to say, "I CAN CARRY IT!" :-D Or just tell him all your concerns with doing your best in school.

[Apulu_3]

Hmm I will bargain with him and say him I will skip lunch and breakfast (I have it from cafeteria only) if he doesn't allows lol.

[Cuminginside]

family is very weird

[Anonymous]

Tell him that he needs to talk to your principal about why you have so many books for each subject.

[Apulu_3]

It is all important for our course. One is main book, one is excersice book and other is also an exercise book.

[Opinion Owner]

Still he shouldn't be complaining to you about it. Going to class unprepared is the worst.

[Cuminginside]

Is there an app for that

[bowenw]

Can you get a spare copy of the books so you have a set at home and a set in your locker, even if they are used? Are the books available electronically that you could access at home and leave the real ones in your locker?

[Apulu_3]

Yeah I could access from internet but my mom doesn't wants me to spend whole day in computer. I chose offline for that. It also strains my eyes a lot.

[bowenw]

It looks like you're stuck carrying books. Try telling your dad you have no choice as the books are required at school and for homework.

[Apulu_3]

I guess I will just carry the main books in my bag and all the extra books like excercise one or grammar one will stay in locker.

[bowenw]

That's a good idea. I hope your dad will be happy with that solution.

[Apulu_3]

I hope so

[bowenw]

Me too. 😊

[Stevefiveo]

It is annoying that he is micromanaging you like that. Try explaining to him again like you just said here. If does understand, they just ignore him and tell him that this is what you need to do for school.

[Apulu_3]

Yes I understand he cares for me but too much care becomes burden.

[Stevefiveo]

I hear you. Hopefully, he will get the hint that you can handle this by yourself.

[TrillXHippy]

If you need the books then you need the books

[Apulu_3]

Yes Exactly

[jasco]

Tell him to talk to the teachers about it

[Zygum]

Your problem to convince