Recently I've been feeling like I haven't made any improvement in my studies and I'm not going anywhere. I've been getting the same marks no matter the different methods I approach (im an average student). I now found myself comparing myself to my classmates and feel like I'm being left behind. Then I realized I only want to do better because I care what people think and I compare myself to the top achievers. I'm also hard on myself. I try to solve these issues with myself but everytime I think I stopped self-sabotaging myself I see somebody doing really well I go back to comparing myself and having this heavy feeling on my chest and just feeling numb. I think the fact that I took notice that I'm self-sabotaging myself is the pretty good first step but from there... i don't know... how do I to stop comparing myself to others academically?
Updates
11 mo
I apologise for the grammar. I'm just really upset.
Speaking as a teacher and a man of 46: first you clearly care about your academic performance. That’s great! I wish all students wanted to achieve as much as you do. That’s a really good starting point. Second, there will always be people that are better than you and there will always be people who are worse. Accepting this is hard but once you do, you’ll be more comfortable in your own skin. Everyday I teach kids who are way more intelligent than me - they just don’t know as much stuff or how to use their knowledge yet. That’s my job. But their brains are on fire with smarts. You’ll always come across people like this so no point letting it beat you up. Third, academic achievement is only one measure. Work ethic, common sense and emotional intelligence are just as important in the real world but we don’t tend to grade these at school. I know plenty of A grade students who never achieved anything after school and plenty of low academic achievers who run their own businesses and are incredibly wealthy. We have to play to our strengths. And we know one of yours already - you care about things. Finally. talk to your teachers if you haven’t already. I love it when students come up to me and ask how to do better. I wish they would all do this. It might be an easy solution - you never know.
To be expected. I found school quite comparative and competitive. I did fantastic when I was with people who did well in school. I did lousy when I was not. Approach some of the better students and ask them if they could help you understand. Use complements to appeal to their ego. "Man I wish I was as smart as you. How do you get this so easy? You probably don't have the patience to help me figure this out" - People actually get a high from being helpful. I know I do. You will become like those you associate with. Never pretend you understand something if you don't. Ask specific questions for the lack in understanding. And do. Do things alone to see where you hit a wall. At that point ask for help to understand.
Added benefit. If a really cute girl is pretty smart. Appealing to her brains instead of her beauty will be a major bonus, but very distracting too you. ;)
The first two guys gave you some really awesome advice. Look straight ahead and ask those who are interested in your academic achievement for assistance. Everybody wants to see you do good. The sooner you focus on yourself and not others, the better. You don’t want to have that attitude for your whole life, because there will always be competition in every facet of your life. Be proud of your aspirations and your efforts.
Productive on your studies cuz I can feel you and I've been in this situation before. I really tried hard but didn't get improved. I guess you have to take a break after studying for an hour or minutes and you should stop comparing yourself which makes you feel unproductive.
For starters, the fact that you care so much about your performance means you want to be successful. That’s awesome. My first two years of college were absolute hell. I failed a few classes, barely passed others. But then I found my passion and I started doing way better. I’m not saying it will turn out exactly like that for you, but what you should do is keep your head up and look at the other people’s achievements as your full time goals. When you set those goals, they are meant to be difficult and challenge you. But you also have to remember to get the right amount of rest and relaxation. Over stressing yourself is the worst thing you can do. I’ve done it both at school and at work. In all that stress I feel nothing but miserable. Just make sure you take care of the most important person in this situation, you!
Speaking as a hardcore Adult ADHD sufferer who some-frickin-how landed in an elite law school: Stop trying to make yourself do things in a way that doesn't work with your brain.
1. Figure out when you do your best work and structure your studying around that time. ONLY work during that time, if possible, but work every day.
2. Figure out HOW you need to study. If you learn by doing; do it up. If you learn by watching; watch it up. If you learn by listening; listen up.
3. Take breaks exercise, walk around, etc.
4. Focus on excellence first and foremost! Focus on being a good as you can be at the subject matter, and success will follow you.
I'll give you an analogy. If you're running a race, do you look behind you? No. You run straight ahead and stay focused on the finish line. You need to keep focused on YOUR academic goals. Screw the others. Don't worry about them. As long as you pass and graduate, it doesn't matter what the others do. You still win regardless. The only way you can lose is if you let them mess with your head and throw you off your game.
It's about priorities. If you just study to keep up, of course won't give a fuck about the actual content. If you have a goal, you can use the subject matter to get to your goal. So step 1, what are the plans after school? What are you doing this for?
As someone with Inattention ADHD and ASD, something as simple as sitting and typing can be daunting. Take breaks in between your tasks. that's how I do just enough to get by
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