Is it wrong to not be fussed about which primary school my daughter goes to?

[19magic]

So I've got this colleague with similar aged children and she's almost heckling me about primary schools and my view of them. Saying I really need to visit everyone in the area, I need to get as many personal accounts of the schools as possible. And I'm like I've went to one of the shittiest primary schools in my city, yet I still managed to do pretty well for myself. They don't matter all that much, I'm also able to teach any gaps in my child's learning as I do have the skills to be able to homeschool (but need the money so that'll never be an option).

So I'm just putting her in a school that's close to me and only visiting a couple surrounding ones. But the way she talks about it is making me feel guilty that I don't care as much as she obviously does. Am I wrong for not caring all that much?

[SnowedIn]

You are not wrong. You should care some and based on what you wrote you do, so great job. There's only so much energy and resources we can put into that before there's a negative return on investment. Love your child. Teach them to be kind and confident and strong and empathetic and street smart and inquisitive and they can go to any school and benefit from it. Children reflect their parents so much more than we admit or know. Be there for your child and help teach them and guide them and set an example for them and the school thing will turn out just fine. Make sure they can read and speak as good or better than others. Give them vocabulary. Words matter as much or more as a fancy school and will take you far in life. Sorry for the ramble... you are awesome to care for your child like you do. Well done! And, you're not wrong.

[19magic]

Nah it's fine I'm a single mother so I feel more attacked when I get told things by others rather than when it's me asking. But I probably need to care a bit more than i do, I've been banking that this one nursery is the one she's going to and haven't thought about even 2 others for the selection. But at the same time I know they're all good, a quick look at Ofsted shows that so what difference does it all make.

[Pudsmucker]

I feel your pain for your child's education. We had similar issues with our children when they going to school. How they're going to be treated when they were in class by the instructor, and how they're treated with her fellow classmates.

[TallAnon]

I mean, it's a huge part of your child's future. That said, can't go too far anyway.

[19magic]

I mean I get that, the one that's on the same street as me has good scores I even went to the summer fate to check it out and it seems really nice. But she's saying I need to look at every single one in an hour radius from where I live and it's exhausting every time I chat to her due to work she always brings it up. Sorry I'm just ranting now, I just don't know if me being more carefree is wrong in this situation.

[TallAnon]

I mean, it would be weird to send your child to a school an hour away if you pass 3 schools on the way too 😁
It sounds like you covered the basics, so now just get rid of the annoying colleague, haha

[Alex8736]

as long as they are being taught math, English and science which is a necessity vs teaching transgender issues where those questions will not be on the SAT test. just saying

[EmmaMary]

I thought you were single and childless.

[19magic]

I am single, I never said I was childless though

[EmmaMary]

@19magic

Entirely my misunderstanding, sincerest apologies.

[19magic]

No worries I don't mention it in posts too often and the ones that I do tend to mention it I'm posting anon more often then not, so I get how I come across. What do you think in this situation?

[EmmaMary]

@19magic

I'm afraid that I have to totally disagree with your intentions... Personally I will be viewing all of the OFSTED reports, visiting schools and talking to various parents before I make final decisions for both my children's education... Although that is still several/many years away at present.

[EmmaMary]

@19magic

That does come across a little confusing... I should have made it clear that our little boy will be coming up three next January... And I'm due to give birth to our second child in just three weeks time.

[19magic]

Fair enough, I have looked at the Ofsted report and I went to one of the fates they held, and have a visit booked as well. I don't really know anybody with young kids other than her, so have no one to talk to about any of this. Did talk to a lady at the bus stop the other day and will probably visit that school too. But I have just never seen it as big a deal as she does, every time we chat about work she also talks about this and asks what else I'm doing for school visits, I just feel it's a bit much.

[EmmaMary]

@19magic

One thing I will definitely be doing is literally going around to various schools when parents are waiting to collect/pick up their children, and just talk and ask them for their own personal opinions and experiences.

I just feel that our children's education is absolutely vital, and after all, we/they only ever get one chance.

[19magic]

I have thought about that but I work full time and leave at half 7 and get back around 6 I've got a half day when I booked the visit so might do it then.

And totally get that it's why I'm planning homework sessions and giving her homework to do once a week from me, and spelling tests I'm going to set for her. Might wait till year 3 before focusing on it but it's something I'm planning on doing.

[EmmaMary]

@19magic

When you go on your visit, might I suggest you write down a list of questions and things to look for, because we all know as soon as we leave somewhere, we always remember something we wanted to ask!

Your plans for homework and little tests sounds absolutely spot on and brilliant.

[19magic]

Thanks for discussing it with me, I probably should be a bit more focused on it - I've been described as aloof before. And that's a good tip I've got a couple of main ones I want to ask what their bullying policy is, I want to ask where they stand on teaching sexuality and gender issues as I've heard some bad stories about that.

And it's similar to what I'm doing now, the nursery is teaching sign alongside letters and I know a bit about that anyway so I'm following up on that.

[EmmaMary]

@19magic

You're so very welcome indeed, and please do remember that you can pm me anytime.

I'm so please if I have been of some small help to you, but at the same time must apologise again for my misunderstanding and if I've come across as perhaps being a little harsh.

Thankfully it does now appear that you're starting to put a more detailed plan into place.

And please do remember to write down all those questions and things you want to look at.

[Anonymous]

No, not at all. I think its very important for all parents to be more involved in what is being taught to their children these days.