How to deal with colleague who is jealous and putting me down?

[Anonymous]

I’m female and this another female colleague is jealous of me because I’m praised for my work more than she is. Also, she gossips around and I try to keep her at a distance. She tried to put me down for the work I did which didn’t have any mistake. Instead she suggested I should be doing it in different way which I found out to be totally wrong. How to deal with this? Should I complain to my manager? She made a remark that I work in silos. I think she did that because I avoid unnecessary interaction with her else she will start gossiping and waste my office time. Should I just stay quiet or complain to manager?

[Anonymous]

Dealing with a jealous and critical colleague can be challenging, but there are some steps you can take to address the situation:

1. Stay professional: It's important to remain professional and not let your colleague's behavior affect your own work or attitude. Continue to do your job to the best of your ability and maintain a positive attitude.

2. Address the issue directly: If your colleague's behavior is affecting your work, consider addressing the issue directly with her. Try to approach the conversation in a calm and non-confrontational manner, and express how her behavior is impacting you. Be specific about the behavior you are experiencing and the impact it is having on your work.

3. Document the behavior: Keep a record of your colleague's behavior, including incidents that you found inappropriate or unprofessional. This can be helpful if you need to escalate the issue to your manager or HR.

4. Seek support: Consider seeking support from a trusted colleague, mentor or HR representative. They can provide advice and guidance on how to handle the situation and may be able to intervene on your behalf.

5. Consider escalating the issue: If the behavior continues and is impacting your work, it may be necessary to escalate the issue to your manager or HR. Provide them with specific examples of the behavior and the impact it is having on your work.

Remember, it's important to advocate for yourself and your work, but also to remain professional and respectful in your interactions with your colleague. By taking these steps, you can address the issue and create a more positive and productive work environment for yourself and your colleagues.

[slatyb]

Just do your work and avoid engaging with her. Do you need her cooperation to get your work done? If not, then don't worry about it. She feels threatened by your competence. If you do have to work with her, communicate in writing. If you need her to do something, get written confirmation from her that she will do her part. Same if you are performing a task that somehow involves her. Send her a message stating exactly what you will do and when. If she's otherwise nasty, take notes -- time, place, what she said or did. Basically CYA.

[Asker]

Thanks for this great suggestions! Luckily I don’t work with her directly but will have some overlap here and there. I’ll make sure to do as you advised.
It’s sad that a lot of my effort will be wasted in journaling about her but it is what it is.

[slatyb]

"A lot of effort" -- how much time does she spend talking at you?

[Asker]

Not a lot now but it can become like 2-3 hours per week. By lot of effort I mean that I’ll have to take notes of when , what happened along with proof.
I consider it waste of time because I’d rather spend that time on completing my work tasks. But I guess it needs to be done.

[MementoMori777]

She just has nothing better to do, stay quite because if she doesn't get fired you'll make an enemy, just speak your own mind, if you think your work is good and right then you tell her why, school her ass lol

[Asker]

Lol I’m a polite person and try to avoid conflicts but I guess I’ll have to put a strong foot down next time she crosses her line. Thanks so much!

[MementoMori777]

💯🙏

[slatyb]

Just shut off the conversation. You don't have to stand and listen. Say "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. Now if you don't mind, I need to get back to work."

[MementoMori777]

☝️another good idea

[Asker]

Thanks so much you both for this! I’m too nice and it’s high time I should learn to shut people off like this. I’ve taken mental note of this tip.

[MementoMori777]

Np 💯

[pink_blah]

Tell her to grown up and tell your manager