In a complex business arrangement and I don’t know how to chill out and think clearly?

[Anonymous]

I’m negotiating an agreement that’s very complicated. Both sides need each other, both sides have their own interests, neither side fully understands each other and neither side fully trusts each other. The mistrust is party due to not fully understanding each others Industry. It’s also due to the fact the industry has dirty reputation (it involves insurance)

The thing is I worked my ass off building up an asset that brings the other party value. I own it and which gives me some muscle in negotiating. But it’s not as easy to approach a different party to develop a relationship overnight for what I built up. It requires some trust and if either side in my current agreement pulled out it would be like a divorce.

Anyway the strongest person at the negotiating table is the one who is willing to walk away. But secretly I am depending this to get me out the hole financially (obviously the other party doesn’t know my personal financial situation nor do I want them to).

I’m trying to play it cool but it’s hard. I put a ton of work into this and things looked very optimistic until last week.

How can I keep my cool? The good news is I have an asset of value that I own. Bad news is it’s not like selling my car. It’s business to business. It requires a relationship to be built up if I walk away and both sides would lose money (at least initially) if that happened.

[DoggyDude]

Forget about everything except all of the reasons you know you yourself planned to make a profit with the venture; Treat the deal like a sales pitch to a customer, make the drool over the service your offering, how you can offer it cheaper than everyone else yet still make substancial profits, extole and have proof of the size of your client base and their own publicly understood weatlth and their strict need for your services.

Your deal will be only as good as your own confidence in what you have, the fact you don't personally have enough money to invest to grow the business needs to be something you don't consider. Simply talk like you have all the money, because the reality is if you DO have a good purchasable business, they that money is always attainable its just a matter of how much you might retain.

Also, study your buyer, understand THEIR existing business model, understand their weak points and use that to tailor your pitch in a way that reminds them how they are weak (relatively) and how your model doesn't suffer from those same weaknesses. They should be afraid NOT to close the deal, you need to KNOW your business is WORKING.

If however, your some kind of grifter (like a lot of modern businesses are sadly) then you will have to do what every grifter does and bullshit and hope; It's sad to say, that often works to everyones detriment.

I hope your the first thing I was speaking about, which would be a happy thing, and glad I can advise.

Best of luck (if your genuine and this is just a difficult deal, not a pump and dump).

[Asker]

Very good insight. Thanks.

This is all started out as a small almost negligible venture that was running for a long while and brought them sporadic business.

Then a year ago (motivated by my situation) I decided to use all my skillsets and business acumen to grow this asset which simultaneously helped them. I got much more serious about it and it exploded.

But now it’s making them both excited yet uncomfortable. Because they don’t own this asset and their own business model is grown increasingly dependent on it. They aren’t comfortable with the idea that I own and control it. They didn’t take it seriously at first but my hard work and sacrifice made it Rockford and it only growing more and more.

Anyway it’s complex. I wish I could be confident to act like I don’t care what happens. But I do. I need the cash flows. But I need to act like I don’t care. It’s tough.

[Asker]

*sacrifice made it explode.

Also if everything blows up (which I doubt) I can recalibrate with someone else. But that’s an easy relationship I can start by just calling someone.

[DoggyDude]

Well, dismiss your risks, because those risks aren't significant when your confident they need what you have.

At work I regularly am ready to leave my job, and do what I like because I know they need my position and I also kinda know I am under paid (which is not a good way to be, but it does mean I can be in a position of power over my employer; Not that I intend to be ruthless with that, I am also greatful for having a very rock steady employment in a turbulent economy).

Anyway, know your strengths, and realise that you will only ever get as far as your willing to risk.

Best of luck.

[Asker]

Thanks man. I actually have a full time job myself but this is a side hustle I absolutely busted my ass on. I worked evenings and weekends. It was my baby and I’m literally obsessed about it.

Truth is I’m a recovering compulsive gambler. 2 years clean now. But I am determined to get out the hole financially and this was my opportunity (it’s also my new compulsion lol).

To me the stakes are very high for this. But I need to calm down and not over think it. I can however take pride that my hard work is what made it what it’s become.

[DoggyDude]

Best of luck! :)

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah dude, that sounds super complicated. Business stuff always seems so confusing to me. I guess just take a deep breath and remember that getting worked up won't help anything. Even if it's stressful, you gotta stay calm and think clearly to get the best deal.

Maybe take a break if you're feeling stressed. Go watch some youtube or play some video games to take your mind off it for a bit. Then when you go back to negotiating, you'll be more relaxed. Remind yourself that you built something valuable and important, so don't let them push you around just cause you're nervous. But also listen to what they want too so you both leave happy.

It'll all work out man. Just be confident in yourself and don't lose your cool. Stay determined but also flexible. I'm sure you'll figure something out that works for everyone. Just don't overthink it and stress yourself out more. You got this!

[Asker]

thanks. I actually tried to get my mind off it this weekend. But I was thrown way off when they surprisingly acted negative to my initial proposal. They actually had a few genuine reasons why (because I didn’t fully understand their side). But they also still don’t fully understand my side either.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that sucks they came back with some issues on your proposal. But at least they gave you some real reasons, even if it's cause neither side fully gets each other's deal yet.

When things don't go how you expect, it's easy to start stressing. But don't let it get you down - this is all just part of the process, you know? Now you've got a better idea of where they're coming from too.

Maybe call up the guy you're negotiating with and be like "yo, I been thinking about what you said. Seems like we both still got some learning to do about each other's situation. How about we grab a drink/coffee and just talk through it openly, try to gain some more understanding before we get back to negotiating?"

Showing you're willing to listen and find common ground could help build some trust. And who knows, they may open up more about their stuff once you level with them too. Worth a shot to keep things moving forward in a chill way, right? You got this man!

[Anonymous]

Hire a lawyer to help you figure it out. Or a business consultant. They will be able to think objectively when you can’t.

[OddBeMe]

Well…walk away. Tell them another client will be paying more and be less messy.

Nothing is more desired than what you can’t have.