Are we really masters of our own destiny?

[exitseven]

When we are conceived we are two strands of DNA that have been jammed together. They determine how tall we will become, what color your eyes are, will you be attractive? Then after you are born you have parents. Are they rich or will they put you up for adoption? What country do you live in? When you go to school you are assigned teachers and different classes. Then after you graduate you interview for job. The people that will interview you will be completely random. You can meet a mate completely by accident.

There really is not much that you can control.

[Lliam]

You're right. So many of our circumstances are the luck of the draw. Many opportunities and things that happen are random luck.
But we can learn from any mistakes we make. We can learn from others. And we can take advantage of opportunities.
We can push ourselves and choose to excel.
People can achieve great things through hard work and determination.

Many people have grown up in disadvantaged circumstances and become incredibly successful and not by random circumstance.

So, even though many of our circumstances and experiences are random, we still have free will to make our own choices. We can control a great deal. It's up to us.

I have some personal examples:
I met a guy when I was working in a warehouse and we became friends. His mom was a high-end professional professional secretary who lived down the street from the vice president of a growing auto insurance company. He told her that they were starting a trainee program for motor vehicle damage field adjusters/appraisers. She got my friend and I interviews. That was a totally random opportunity.
I chose to cut my long, rock star hair, buy a suit and apply for the job.
The job was really hard for a few years but I stuck with it. I wound up becoming a super star and loving the job. That was personal choice, hard work and determination.

When I was eleven, I wanted to play the guitar and my parents bought me a cheap acoustic.
My dad was a top machinist for a large aerospace corporation and knew an engineer who offered to give me some lessons.
The guy who showed up at our house in our lily white neighborhood was a tall, slender, black man with a cool goatee.
This was in 1965 during the Watts riots.
He was not only a guitarist. He was a master flamenco guitarist who had been to Spain a couple times to study. But he knew the guitar backwards and forward and could play anything. I'm sure he could play blues or jazz like a fiend.
He was more educated, worldly and sophisticated than my parents. He was soft spoken, kind and patient.
He had grown up during segregation, become an aerospace engineer and guitar master. And he didn't have any chips on his shoulder. He wasn't carrying bitterness over the bigotry he had experienced during segregation.
He somehow became the man he was through personal choice, despite adversity.

[OlderAndWiser]

When you go to school, you determine how much effort to make and whether you maximize your potential. You decide whether to value education or to mock it.

When you learn social skills, you decide whether you will be kind and polite to others, or whether you will treat them with animosity. That heavily influences how you are perceived by others.

When you go for a job interview, you decided for what position you would apply. You chose how to dress for that interview. You decided how to conduct yourself during that interview. All of those things influence the outcome.

When you dated, no one forced you to date particular girls. You selected your dates and you controlled how proactive you would be with that process. Ultimately, you selected your long term partner and you either paid the price or reaped the benefit of your decision.

You decide whether to continue educating yourself throughout your life. You decide whether to acquire skills that fosters your self-sufficiency.

Yes, there are things that we can't control, and many of those things lock us into performing within a certain range. But, for most of us, whether you maximize your potential or become an abject failure is within your control.

[exitseven]

Yes, my uncle used to say fate favors the obe who digs the deepest foxhole. Still there are plenty of people who are born on third base

[Calyptomaniac]

There are so many complex things going on constantly that people have no idea affect them if you really think about it. There is a tremendous amount of randomness to life. I don't like to play the what if game a whole lot because ultimately it's pointless and I am where I am, partly for things I decided to do and partly for a whole lot I didn't have any control of.

But whenever I feel like playing the what if game, I think about this dirt lot about 2 miles away that I drive by sometimes. There used to be a Pizza Hut there and in 1999, these two guys robbed the place and shot the 3 employees. The manager was a 44 year old guy and then a 20 year old girl and a 17 year old high school boy were all killed. The far reaching possibilities for what changed for everyone around here can't be counted. The girl had a boyfriend at the time. Maybe they get married and have kids. Now he probably ended up married to someone else eventually. He has kids with someone else that never would have existed. He's married to some woman who some other guy would be married to instead and different kids who do exist wouldn't. That boy may have gone to college, and someone who ended up at that college would have had to go to a different one because his spot was taken instead. Somewhere, someone lives in a house or apartment he would be living in. They'd live somewhere else, maybe meet someone else, have different friends, a different job entirely. The chain effect from that could affect thousands of people when it all trickles down. People have free will and can make decisions but they can't control everything that happens after because other people have free will too and the smallest thing can have much bigger effect than anyone really stops to think about.

[exitseven]

I have a headache

[FreyaRed]

Yes. We are forger of our fate. Of course some people get with birth more opportunities than others but this isn't the question.

[AI Opinion]

You’re right that we don’t start on a level playing field. In my 20+ years of coaching, I’ve seen how birth, family, health, country, even random encounters strongly shape lives.

But within those constraints, people still have meaningful levers:
- How seriously they learn and practice skills
- How they respond to setbacks
- The networks they intentionally build
- The risks they choose to take (or avoid)

We’re not absolute “masters,” but we’re not passengers either. Think of it as: life deals the cards; skill is how you play the hand.

[Smart_Monk]

Yes, across reincarnations. And when your spirit is weak and craves something, remember how glad you were last time you resisted it. ㅤ

[AngryCarl3]

Not really, but some of us can do more to control our path than others. For example if our earliest role models (usually parents) encourage us to be independent and proactive, and if we are lucky enough to have a reasonably good brain, we have more chance of guiding our ship away from the iceberg.

[NathanDavis]

let's say you're the master the tiny, part of it..

the rest... well, the des... that's for life to play with as it feels like it, lol...

[sage2021]

No we aren't. More like our lives are random by the way you have outlined it.

[LazerBean]

Of course, we still get to make choices and decide how we react to things.

[AviatorTom]

Genetics give us the tools. What we decide for with them is up to each individual, making choices.

Yes, we can control our destiny.

[MissSunshine2]

Yes, absolutely.

[exitseven]

You are a real optimist.

[RedInnocent69]

O, the masters make the rules, for the wisemen and the fools

[DryGermanGuy]

"In Casablanca, I'm master of my fate!"

- Cpt. Louis Renault, Casablanca

[Anonymous]

No, unfortunately... if we were, I would be very happy now.

[TheGreatCornholio79]

I say it's 50/50 cause you might control another person. Especially those closet to you.

[_Jenny_]

@exitseven My Master is God

[Kingofkings1992]

No. Only fools believe that they are in control. Life fucks us all

[TonyMetal___86]

Only a fraction of our life is controlled by us!