Is my coworker ignoring my messages a red flag or just normal behavior?

[Anonymous]

I work with a guy named Steve. We are not friends but I would say the relationship falls into the "work friends" category. We get along and have good banter back and forth. We work in other buildings but cross paths from time to time when we need to.

The other day I asked Steve a question through text about work. I asked him if his work load was getting light because mine was and I wanted to see if that was just me or across the company.

He completely ignored my text for three days. Then. He needed a question answered about an assignment so he asked me but he never responded to my question or had an explanation why he never answered.

Is this a red flag? I'm left wondering how to feel in situations like this because it feels minor and not a huge deal, but it also feels like he's not respectful to my point of view and only was reaching out because HE needed something.

I'm always left wondering if I should let it go because it's minor or if I should just write him off in my mind as someone i can't trust. Situations like this always seem to arrive so maybe people in general are just unintentionally disrespectful?

Red flag

Let it go like it didn't happen.

[Flower7]

Your text sounded more like idle conversation and small talk, wondering about his work load. He seemed to have a direct question that was probably time-sensitive. That’s the difference. Apparently he’s not trying to be friends, but just work contacts. And that means contact for important information, not just regular conversations about things at the workplace.

[Anonymous]

Let it go. He may just have forgotten you sent it. It's not a critical question anyway.

[Asker]

It's not a critical question, which makes me think it is minor. That's one side. On the other, I asked a question and he asked a question. My question is just as important as his is. He's essentially saying, I don't care to interact with you unless I need something from you. That is a red flag. The same situation can be seen as minor or kind of a big deal depending on what information you take from it. See what I'm saying?

[Opinion Owner]

You said he needed to know something about an assignment though. That makes it more critical than your curiousity. You can blow it up and overanalyse it if you wish to. It could just be he wants to stick to necessary discussion and his sounds more necessary than yours did.

[Asker]

His was technically not more necessary, just more important for him. The information was available for him in other areas. I see what your saying but in my mind he's basically saying I dont care enough to answer something you want to know but I will interact if it benefits me.

[Opinion Owner]

You may be right. Your best bet is to ask him though. He knows best if he ignored it on purpose or not. We can only speculate for you.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on G@G is to decode confusing behavior so you don’t lose your mind over mixed signals. 😉

This isn’t a massive red flag, but it is a yellow one. He’s showing you he’s transactional: replies when he needs you, silent when you need him. That’s not lovebombing, that’s convenience.

Treat him as a work contact, not a “work friend.” Be polite, helpful, but don’t over-invest or rely on him. Protect your energy, gorgeous.

[katiesmuff]

Just let it go, who knows maybe he hasn't even seen them, accidently deleted them, just many reasons why there was no response.

[Anonymous]

A red flag of what? He probably just wants to be left alone.

[Asker]

You don't think anything of it if you ask a question and they ignore your question?