Have you ever heard a song and thought: "Gee, the context here could get really twisted really fast!" ???
The changes could be mildly amusing, outright disturbing, or some combination. But here are five songs that can take a nightmarish turn if just the tiniest alteration is made:
Toby Keith - "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue"
This song instantly became a hit with patriotic Americans. It even featured on the Sean Hannity Radio Show for many years. UnAmericans and Multiculturalists (aka, White Genocide advocates) were frothing at the mouth that this song was even allowed on the radio. But when the Dixie Chicks disrespected the whole nation and the troops amidst the War on Terror just to take an unnecessary cheap shot at Bush, it led to their cover of the dove ditty "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac falling flat compared to Toby's hawk tune.
The secret to ruining it: Make it more violent!
All pretense of decency went out the window when the country grew furious over bin Laden. "We'll put a boot up your ass" was a rather weak way of saying "f* you, Islam!" in that time period; but it was all that Toby Keith could get away with at the time. (A few years later, and Team America became a movie. Sooo...yeah.)
How to go back in time and make it not do as well?
Simply change the line "we'll put a boot in your ass" with "we'll pound a nail through your nuts." It'd be more honest about the extreme vindictive mood of the time, but probably would have made Toby Keith in that era of the FCC about as persona non grata as Kathy Griffin is today with her mock Trump beheading ISIS-style stunts.
On the other hand, the human pyramids in Iraq by that one bisexual sadist marine woman - a scene played over and over again by CNN because they were obsessed with trying to find a way to hurt Bush - pretty much took care of souring the patriotic mood instead.
(Which some traditionalists stated was a case for why DADT didn't go far enough. But I digress.)
Still, it'd make the song funnier, if in a twisted way.
Shania Twain - "Gonna Getcha You Good"
On its own, this song is annoying as can be. Grocery store PA systems play it just to torture their employees. Some might think of it as a playful young woman full of energy singing about the musings of her plan to seduce her crush. But if you pay careful enough attention, she comes across as a sexual predator about to rape the poor man - somehow.
Secret to ruining it: Have a man sing it.
Due to cultural double standards, having a man sing these exact same lyrics with no other changes whatsoever lets its creepy lyrical subtext rise directly to the surface.
I've already planned it. That's how it's gonna be.
Don't try to run...
I already knew country music has become increasingly perverted, but this is flat-out crossing a line!
Blake Shelton - "Don't Make Me"
On its own, the song is a desperate plea by a man to keep his woman from leaving. They have a family together, which makes her betrayal extra cruel. Due to the kids and the memories, he can't just simply say: "Smell 'ya later, beyotch!" and show her the door. He's gotta get her to reconsider her actions, and the damage she's causing. He doesn't want to outright beg, but she's driving him to that point.
How to ruin it: Add a single sound effect!!!
Right before he says: "Don't make me," add in a sound effect of him cocking a shotgun.
Now, it's a song about an unstable man torn up so completely by her betrayal, and being so possessive, that he's on the verge of a mass murder-suicide.
In the half-second it takes to play that extra sound effect, the entire context of the song was rewritten and got super dark out of nowhere! We went from Dr. Phil to Forensic Files in the blink of an eye!!!
Journey - "Don't Stop Believin' "
This uplifting classic holds a tiny handful of lyrics as its lynchpins of optimism. A small change to those few lyrics, and the entire rest of the song is Nietzsche wannabe territory!
"Some will lose, some lose worse, some are just born with a curse..."
"Never hold to any feeling..."
"Don't START believin'!!!"
Boom!!! You don't have to change anything else! All trace of anything good in the song has been mercilessly destroyed, just like that!
Good Charlotte - "Predictable"
On it's own, this song is emo-tastic to the max. Which can be good or bad, depending on your personal tastes. It describes the pain of a man realizing that his girl is really not what she was cracked up to be. His worst suspicions are confirmed about her, and he's gonna let her know just how much she sucks.
How to ruin it: Hulk smash!!!
In the second series of his shouting rants telling her she sucks, replace "I'm ending this RIGHT NOW!" with him transforming into a werewolf and growl/yelling: "I'm ending YOU!!!! THIS INSTANT!!!" He then claws her head off, and the song ends right then and there, fading to black as her head hits the floor.
Having nightmares yet? Well, it's not like she didn't deserve it. Still, it kinda makes it hard to feel sorry for anyone in the story. If he had that power the whole time, why waste his potential on such a basic bitch in the first place? Didn't he know that by doing that to himself, he was only setting himself up to get hurt enough to resort to overkill???
Suddenly, there's no good guy in the story. Just a loser chick and a hurt man who takes revenge WAY too far!
Funny, in a sad and twisted way, I suppose.
What other songs do you know of where a single small change would alter the entire context? Let me know in the comments below.