I know I’m hella late lol but I’ve been procrastinating on this one. Last night I just watched The Transporter and Justice League for the first time 😂👌 Avenger movies always took me three attempts to get through and i was hoping JL would be different. But I didn't have high hopes for Justice League considering i always struggled to get through the franchises leading up to it.
Bruce “BATMAN” Wayne
I had never finished a Batman film until The Dark Knight Rises. I mean I loved Christian Bale in Little Women and parts of American Psycho but Batman just wasn't it. I only watched The Dark Knight Rises cause i love Joseph Gordon Levitt and Tom Hardy as well, and hoped to see Aaron Eckhart again.
The only batman features on Ben Affhole is that he's got a booty chin. His portrayal and accent was straight —— . I just can't stand him lol. Only movie i ever liked him in was Jersey Girl but even then he played an Affhole. I have little hope for Robert Pattinson in this position. I mean he technically was a vampiric bat at a point but i never see Batman features when i look at him. Maybe he wouldve been more convincing as the Flash since he could run fast in Twilight. 🤷♀️ He also did good in Water For Elephants though. Anyways, let me stay on topic.
Plus, I loved Catwoman with Halle Berry despite what many think and i just wanted to see how Anne Hathaway did. She was good but would’ve made a better Batwoman or Lois Lane. To me, Halle had the best outfit and purr. But yes, michelle acted the most villainous and catty.
Clark “SUPERMAN” Kent
Now as for Superman, I only liked him in the shows like Smallville, Adventures of Lois and Clark, and the animated Justice League. Only Superman movie i ever completed was Superman Returns with Brandon Routh. I didn’t care to see Henry Cavill as superman but i love his teeth. I know Matt Bomer is gay but so is the guy playing the Flash. So why couldnt we get Matt as Superman?
And whos idea was it to cast Columbus as Lex Luthor 😂 Tallahasee would’ve been much more convincing as a baldy. By the way, Superman from Adventures of Lois/Clark can be seen on episodes of Supergirl (another show I dont watch) and Brandon Routh and Tom Welling are returning for the CW Crisis Crossover. 🙌
Barry “FLASH” Allen
The guy who played the Flash (the best friend in that “Come on Eileen” movie) was just not convincing like dang. They shouldve just brought in the CW cast lmao. The dude was just too hyper and childish. He also couldn't run for crap. He wouldve made a good spiderman in my opinion though. Oh ya was Iris even in the movie?
Diana “WONDERWOMAN” Prince
I just really feel Batman, Wonderwoman, and Flash were miscast, but Gal still did a good job. However, I only got through like 30 mins of Wonder Woman. I liked Gal in Fast & Furious but she's just not convincing as Wonder Woman for me... regardless of how cool her skills were. She just looks like she's playing dressup to me. I give her kudos for pulling off the outfit while filming pregnant but She just doesn't have the thunder thighs that I feel Wonder Woman has. I couldve seen Gina Carano (watch Fast 6 or In the Blood) looking the part but i doubt she could’ve acted as well.
Arthur “AQUAMAN” Curry
Baywatch Hawaii just got real. I’ve been a Jason Momoa fan since his cameo in Johnson Family Vacation. However, I only got through 45 mins of Aquaman. It wasn’t bad. And i mean it did cast the actor I begged to see in the role. But I just didn't finish because there were better things to watch. I honestly felt the movie started off strong but once he started going underwater to help fight with the redhead who framed Johnny Depp, i lost interest. That red looked awful on her. She was much better as the blonde in Shia Lebouf’s movie.
Victor “CYBORG” Stone
I actually enjoyed Cyborg. He did great and had a major role. I was afraid it would be minor considering i only ever focused on Starfire and Robin in CN’s Teen Titans 😂 He even looked liked the cartoon minus the bald-head. He was hot and i loved his waves 😍 his outfit was just robotically fugly though. I was happy they upgraded it by the end of the film.
Oh yea and i loved when he told batman “if it were up to us, we wouldve left you but she [wonder woman] didn't give us a vote.” Yes baby i would’ve left the bastard too 🙌 I also liked when Superman said “cause I really like being alive... I take it back, I wanna die.” And Cyborg was wondering how his toes could even hurt lol. And Wonder Woman was like “Omg i work with children.” Lol.
Justice League THE MOVIE
It only took me forever to get to the actual movie review 😂🙈 I said i wasn't gonna watch this because Batman V Superman killed off the wrong man. They should’ve killed Batman cause he hardly did anything this movie aside from recruit 🤷♀️ Like dang Nick Fury brought more to the table than that. Okay fine, i’ll give him this much... I thought the scene where his batmobile exits the aircraft was cool.
Wonder woman totally killed that beginning scene where she saved the kids at the school. I was fascinated that i almost decided to give the Wonder Woman movie a second chance. But When Batman spoke about Chris Pine’s death, i wanted someone to kill him instantly. I hate that blunt bastard.
I loved seeing Aquaman surf on that locus-bots body. Too cool. And when he told everyone off (yet compliments Wonder Woman) with the lasso of truth, it was soooo amazing. It felt like Conceited said “DJ Dwreck cut the beat!” in an episode of WildNOut. It was amazing when he said to batman that he doesn't even have powers 😂 Man i know I’m gonna get a lot of Batman fans hating on me in the comments.
I’m so mad I didn’t get a heads up that they’d revive Superman!! Otherwise i would’ve watched in theatres lol. Back when the movie came out, I asked around “Is superman in it? If you say no, i won't watch.” And everyone said “not really.” Those liars 😂 But i was surprised and loved it and screamed at the tv. I expected him in the sequel but not in this film.
Funniest part was when Flash asked if this would be some Pet Sematary type ish. That’s exactly what it was 👌 The way the plan backfired and he took down the whole team was amazing. I was like who needs Justice League. It should be “Just Superman” 😭 This literally shouldve been the whole movie... just seeing them try to stop one man who beat all their butts. I’m still shook from how he headbutted Wonderwoman and stopped her from clanking her wrists together AND that look he gave the Flash in slow motion was epic. I’m a tiny bit shocked Lois calmed him. I was waitin for him to stab her in the back... literally.
I have to give the badass Thanos mf goat looking villain some credit. I still don’t remember his name though 😂 He was so good regardless of how bad the CGI was. The way he wrecked those Amazon women OMG 😍 he was savage af. He even deaded those horseys 🙈 It was an amazing game of Polo with that dang box. I was pissed af though when he ripped Cyborg in half. You crossed the line Mr. 👌
Lets talk about that after-credits scene. No not the one with The Flash racing Superman... but the one after that. They casted sexy azz Joe Manganiello as Deathstroke. When i heard Slade Wilson, I legit confused him with Wade Wilson. Then thats when i learned that Deadpool was a parody of Deathstroke. Like dang man. I don’t like Deadpool so i’m sure y'all will hate me even more 🤷♀️
I’m sure my review was mind-blowing and you probably totally disagree with the majority of things I said 🤷♀️ Even though i liked it, i deleted it from my DVR. What was i thinking 😩 Welp whos ready for Justice League Part Two 🙌