Why do nerd fandoms gatekeep?

[StormMistress]

I’ve been subject to this all my life and I’ll just never get why fandoms do this. It was way worse in the early 2000’s when I would show up to a DnD or mtg club (male dominated) and get treated either with suspicion or awkwardness or down right hostility. I’d be made to show I’m a real nerd not a fake nerd which was just absurd and while eventually they warmed up to me it took a lot of effort to break that ice.

Fortunately it isn’t as bad nowadays as Nerd culture is far more diverse and welcoming but it still is a thing I find every now and then.

Is there a reason this happens? Is it simply because I’m a woman or does this happen with new male nerdy types too that want to join a group?

[DaveJord]

The things about nerds is that they are very mistrusting of attractive women, especially when said women takes an interest in them. They think your mocking them, or pulling some type of joke on them.

Let's be honest growing up a lot of these guys, and yes in 80's an 90's it was mostly all guys who got made fun of or picked on in highschool. So they had some serious self esteem and insecurity issues... and girls? Come on most women never gave these geeks the time of day.

So yes, if your average to better than average looking women... and you really get into being a 25th level demon slayer and carry around 18 sided dice... they are going to be as mistrusting of you as if a unicorn just fell out of sky for like real...

[Anonymous]

I think that is just what adults are like.

When you are a kid you can goto the park and just start playing with whoever is there, no one has an agenda other than having a good time.

But things are more complicated when you are older, there is politics and religion and blah blah blah and it ends up being essentially impossible to make friends for most people as adults, as David Mitchell put it; I dont even have time to see the friends i already have, I can't take on more.

[BCA6010]

The only "gatekeeping" I've ever seen especially in recent years is usually aimed at bastardization of source material by adapting writers who aren't talented enough to create their own original works, and it's especially noticeable (from my PoV) in video game franchises, Tolkien, Star Wars, Super Hero comics, and Star Trek.

Granted I don't ever attend conventions and didn't get into things like DnD or Warhammer clubs so maybe those were/are different.

[Crafteroon]

People think of it as owning a classic car, and being worried that someone new might not know all the nuances that goes into driving one, and accidentally crash the car.

Why it doesn't work is because you don't own the car, you are just one of the people who appreciates it. So it should be okay for others to appreciate it too in their own way.

Gatekeeping is what happens when you value something so highly that you become possessive about, even when it's something you don't own.

[Sixgunsound]

It’s been my expert in DND that they gatekeeper no matter the gender. I eventually started my own group and never had a problem afterwards. MTG has always been a rich I’d club i. e. who could buy all the best cards for the latest three turn victory build. Obsessing over tournament brackets and beating everyone else in the game store has made it just not fun anymore. And this was in the early 2000’s.

[rabbitzzz]

Dictionary says,
Nerd
noun
A foolish or contemptible person who lacks social skills or is boringly studious.
example: "I was a serious nerd until I discovered girls and cars"

Maybe because you called who have those hobbies a 'nerd', MILF. Nerd was a derogatory term in itself.

[MattSmall]

Trust me, we do it to everyone. Male or female... If you want to get into a car community, you're going to have to prove you know about cars. If you want to get into a Star Wars community, the same rule applies. People who take a hobby or Fandom that seriously don't want to have to explain it to newcomers. They're not keeping you out because they don't want you. They're just incredibly involved in whatever it is and don't want outsiders.

[ArtemisSilver]

Maybe they can sense your gender based hostility?

I suppose it's just because they want to feel like the experts in their little niche and and anyone who seems more broadly successful might draw some ire for intruding on what they consider a safe space from succesful people who may dominate them in other spheres of life.

Honestly though, who has time for DnD, the ww3 is starting/started. It's time to put on our collective big boy pants and brace for impact.

[TallAnon]

It's probably about some kind of feeling of exclusivity and superiority. When someone says.. "You haven't even beat dark souls 1 deathless yet?" They really mean.. "Look at me, I'm superior because I'm good at this game". I imagine it's more prevelant in nerd communities because they don't have a lot of achievements to talk about, so their ego is doing overtime.
Obviously nowadays it's getting a lot better, since gaming and such is mainstream now.

[Hanrej]

It's because you're female.
As you say, nerd circles are more male dominated and they tend to get a long just fine until you throw a woman into the mix. Suddenly quite a few can't think, wants her attention and sometimes unnecessary drama is introduced into the group.

[Guanfei]

Because many fans fear that "new people" won't be true to what they're fan about, and will bring or allow changes to it.
And they aren't wrong, look what happened to Star Wars with Disney.

[RobEurope]

Just let people have their clubs. No need to force them to play with people they dont want to.

[NathanDavis]

Metallica gatekeepers... lmfao