Back in the 80s-90's, nerds were scorned and persecuted, and in return, they were nice, or funny, a lot of them were social awkward but generally they were good hearted people with a drive to do well in school and who would become successful down the line. Now nerds today act like assholes to people who they think they are smarter than. Some nerds I've known in school will talk in their little cliques in school and if someone who they believe is not as intelligent as them tries to join in on the conversation will move away, many of them will even straight up ignore your text messages, and quickly look at you as trash that not worth associating with if they gleam they are smarter than you. When we look online many of them will feel the need to insult you and act superior if they no something you don't. I mean when did nerds go from good natured guys who were smart in school and persecuted for being socially awkward to becoming straight up assholes who thinks being an elitist and socially ostracizing people was good.
Hmmmm why would a community who saw hostile behaviour over and over again become hostile itself in return? I wonder...
"Some nerds I've known in school will talk in their little cliques in school and if someone who they believe is not as intelligent as them tries to join in on the conversation will move away, many of them will even straight up ignore your text messages, and quickly look at you as trash that not worth associating with if they gleam they are smarter than you. " You can take the nerd out of the sentence and put "cool guys" in, and it would still be true.
Why do you expect someone whom you treat very badly to be kind towards you?
4
37 Reply
Asker
+1 y
"Why do you expect someone whom you treat very badly to be kind towards you?"
Except society has changed. Like I said nerds were treated badly in the past but are looked in more positive light.
By the same logic we don't expect just because black people were slaves and treated badly in the past that they should use that as reason to enslave white people. Nerds in college/highschool campuses are treated well. Yet are now institutionalizing the same treatment that nerds in the past experience. If one has true empathy and compassion, then someone wouldn't subject someone to the same harsh treatment they endured because they know how sucky it is.
Yeah. You see, the problemis that people weren't compassionate or empathetic towards nerds at all. So when the same group of people expect to be treated well, it's simply hypocrisy.
Wanna see compassion and empathy? Show some. If you haven't in the past, you won't see it in return. It's not lack of compassion, it's presence of honour.
You back a group into a corner enough times, especially a smart group, they're going to try to learn from it. They are also going to get extremely defensive. You want to break through? Kill them with kindness.
"Yeah. You see, the problemis that people weren't compassionate or empathetic towards nerds at all. So when the same group of people expect to be treated well, it's simply hypocrisy. "
Except again the nerds in the 21st century aren't the same nerd in the 80's and 90's. By in large nerds are treated well in highschool and college. People don't look at being a nerd as a negative trait these days. Yet, nerds today are behaving in the same manner as the bullies use to treat nerds in the past.
"Wanna see compassion and empathy? Show some. If you haven't in the past, you won't see it in return. It's not lack of compassion, it's presence of honour."
Again there is no honor in acting like an asshole and being vindictive and there is no empathy and compassion that others need to show to nerds. Nerds have become arrogant and become the same bullies nerds in the past use to be subjected too.
Society hasn't changed that much. You are also answering your question and making the other guys point here.
Nerds are considered social outcasts. These social outcasts have been treated badly by bullies because they were seen as lesser in the pecking order. It is established by those higher on the pecking order that those who are seen as lesser should be treated badly. Nerds move higher on the pecking order. What do they do? They imitate the social actions of those who were not seen as social outcasts before them.
You want to break through? Kill them with kindness. Gain their trust.
@HGStebbins I disagree. Nerds aren't looked at social outcast. So much so many people are happy to show their inner nerd on youtube and are recieved with positive results. Many companies actually go to nerdy events like comicon, and so forth and get the oppinion of nerds.
Nerds are looked at very positively in society today compared to the past. And again nerds aren't targeting those who were popular and social outcast. Nerds are looking down on anyone they deem to be less intelligent than them even if that person is a social outcast themselves.
They aren't seen as social outcasts today because they have risen as a group to power and are seen as those who will have a lot of expendable income. As such companies target their branding towards them. That's just smart marketing. However, you have to look at the whole picture. That picture starts when nerds were social outcasts and treated poorly by those above them in the pecking order. Now they have risen in the pecking order and treating others as they were treated. This really isn't that hard to understand. It's pretty basic human psychology/sociology. If it really bothers you that much I'd suggest reading a bit about sociology.
@HGStebbins But if this is basic human psychology are you implying then that if black people were to rise on the social order that they would institutionalize the enslavement of white people
I'm sure there are some that may want to do so. However, as a total society it is understood that slavery is not something that we condone as human beings. However, I believe that when it comes to extremes it's far easier for us to make a distinction as to what is right and wrong. In today's society slavery is considered an extreme as we have mostly come to an agreement, at least in this country, that the idea of human slavery is abhorrent.
I can see where this conversation is headed and I really don't have the patience, time, nor do I care that much, to keep jumping from extreme example to another. Simply put, if you want to be friends with nerds, kill them with kindness. If you don't that's fine, do as you see fit.
@HGStebbins The point as a society we have learned not to hold onto petty vendettas. Nerds born today and in 21st century are treated badly. Their dad, grandad were treated badly. Nerds today are looked at as the popular kids. Being nerdy does not hurt your social standings in highschool and college.
Yet nerds feel that because they are smart it is good to look down on people less intelligent than them. Even those are outcast themselves. It just creates an endless cycle of elitism that truly needs to be squash. Treat people with respect and show disrespect to those that treated u badly. Do not be an ass to people for petty reasons.
If we all acted like assholes and elitist our society would collapse. Society is founded on people working together, and being tolerant to each other. Not putting each other down and acting like you are better than them.
@HGStebbins ". Simply put, if you want to be friends with nerds, kill them with kindness. If you don't that's fine, do as you see fit."
Except nerds do not care if you are kind to them. They will look down on you for being less intelligent than them. It's an elitism that has been driven into the nerds of today that if they are smarter than you then they are better than you.
Have you ever actually tried? It's always worked with me when I've wanted to get on the good side of someone I perceived to be an asshole. Give it a try sometime. Have a good one.
@HGStebbins Yes I have. I'm very kind and open. I don't treat people badly. I've seen many nerds who ended up acting like total assholes to me once they realize they did better than me on exams. I've had nerdy girls who were friendly to me unfriend me/stopped talking to me once they realize they did better than me on exams. It's not even by much but the point being nerds look down on people they perceive themselves better than.
Many of people who were cool with me and friendly to talk to in my first year now act like they are too good to talk to me just because they score higher on test. It's really mind blowing the elitism among nerds. It's not like i do bad in school and I'ma dumb ass but it seems to be an elitism with nerds to look down on anyone.
You yourself don't have to be in the receiving end of things to react to it. Nerds today may not be treated as bad as they were, but there is still a social understanding that allows the use of the word "nerd" as an insult. Well, if it's still an insult, they simply go like "Go talk to people that are of your popularity level. We're simply 'nerds', after all."
And, slavery example is far more extreme than this case. The comparison is flawed.
Again if we want to use the game of my reality. We can also apply the same principle to your reality that nerds are still treated as outcast when everything else and even HGStebbins that media and society accept nerds as positive thing today.
And no the slavery thing is not extreme. It using the same logic of holding past transgression as a reason to carry out the same behavior in the future.
The transgressions are not analogous. Stop acting so butt hurt about it. So what you got treated roughly? Unfairly? Did they make you cry? Get over it. Go prove to them you're worth their respect if it is really so important to you.
So you have to be really kind to a man who has just murdered your family, because you are a compassionate and empathetic person. Same logic as slavery. Try imagining that you are in the receiving end of the bad stuff, maybe then you'll start to understand.
Yes, I would do that. If someone murdered my family I would likely try to murder every last one of their living relatives. Thank you for making our point that the extreme examples you are giving are not analogous.
@HGStebbins Well most sane people would not murder their family. Would you really be so cold blooded to murder that persons kids just because of the act of their father. That's fucked up.
Well, as opposed to your logic, we don't give him all the compassion we have either.
Sooo, what do we do? Try to get him punished and then cut off all our ties with him in life. Never talking to him again or helping him out when he needs help?
Makes sense to me. Just like nerds are doing to the rest of the world, we should cut him off of our lives.
Well that's kind of sociopathic behavior. Even if he killed your family. To take out your actions on people who haven't harmed you (especially a child) because they are associated with another is very messed up morally in my book.
@HGStebbins I definitely understand, and would not judge you in the world. But if the asker doesn't agree, what can we do right? he can cook lasagne for the murderer.
I never said cook lasagna but I wouldn't go out and become a "law abiding" citizen and take justice into my own hand. I wouldn't forgive for past actions but this eye for an eye thing you guys seem to preach is immature. Sometime being bigger and not stooping to the same level is the better approach in the long run.
That's your book. There are other books that say I'd be morally justified. You seem to be looking for one blanket code of conduct that works for everyone in every situation. You're not going to find it.
As @HGStebbins said, there is no "One rule for all behaviour". What works in the nerds case may not work in others. Plus, you actually are advocating for nerds to cook lasagne. I mean, you blame them because they don't wanna interact. Talking about immature...
It's amazing Mr. Opinion owner how often people say other's should, "Take the high road." I wonder if our Anonymous saint has always taken the high road in his life? Such a moral person surly would never cast stones or cross another. No anger, no temper, no need for vengeance. He would clearly turn the other cheek and forgive those who have tress passed against him. He would lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
If taking the high road was the easiest thing in life m'boy everyone would be doing it. How often do you see others continually take the high road? I'd love to see this reality that you live in. It sounds filled with happy sunshine kisses, rainbows, and unicorns. Too bad about them nasty little hobitses, nerds. They're just ruining everything! Someone really should bake them a lasagna!
First off, that is a massive generalization because i know a few "nerds" and they are very kind hearted. Secondly, are all nerds male now? Cause i didn't get the memo. thirdly a nerd isn't trying to be rude by not engaging in conversation with you but if you would consider them a nerd they most likely will want to have conversations about things they enjoy, hence other nerds, and for you to call someone a nerd would lead me to believe that you aren't one. by the way the word "nerd" can be very demeaning so how about we find a different name for them.
Ehh are you possibly mistaking nerds for geeks? Nerds are rarely ever smart they are just weird, straight out boring and socially inept... at least in my books.
eh, these days, everybody thinks they're a nerd because they play video games and like marvel movies... so i don't really take the term seriously anymore
Nerds must be publicly beaten and humiliated with great regularity, not only for their own good, but for the greater good as well. They have no social compass and must be harnessed accordingly.
@Toad-1 They just are. Beside I wouldn't be able to stand if all he want to play with his friends online every single day. haha! No way. And having to hearing boring convo about how he he won the game of blah blah. meh Thats like when a guy talks only sports I am not interested! I just can't be with someone I don't have a common ground I don't know... Something off putting!
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Most Helpful Opinions