Are chickens the spawn of Satan?

Question

Ok, so, like, I have mentioned before in previous posts about my suspicions that chickens are evil. The way they look at me with their cold, beady, black eyes. Like little pterodactyls who would have me on the dinner plate instead of them, if only they were bigger. 😱

And now, thanks to the blessings of the internet, I realize I am not alone in my fears and phobias!(Like my phobia of getting hit by frozen airline waste but that's a different story) Other people have noticed too and, to my horror, it seems chickens are more than just plain evil! They are the actual spawn of Satan! 😈

Please, take heed of the dire warning in this song and pray God may save us! 🙏

And yes, Dark Appalachian folk rap is an actual Music Genre (<--- Link to article about Appalacia Rap) And is quite popular up here with us hillbilly folk, in these foothills of the beautiful Appalachains. We might not be the sharpest tools in the shed but we sure know how to have a damn good time! 😊

"Dark Appalachian folk rap blends haunting mountain storytelling, gothic country themes, and hip-hop beats, often focusing on tales of moonshine, murder, folklore creatures, and the supernatural. Lyrics frequently explore themes of isolation, forbidden Appalachian tales, and ominous warnings about the trail."

So, anyways, at least I get some good tunes to jam out on when I ask, Are chickens the spawn of Satan?

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I don't know. I don't have a lot of experience with chickens but, based on the interactions I have had with hens, they seem kind of cool. Maybe roosters are bigger ass holes.

When I was a teen, my mom's brother gave her two chickens. She just let them run in our suburban back yard.
They would come to her when she went out on the patio. When she petted their backs, they would squat low as if nesting and make soft, happy, contented "Errr, errr, errr" sounds.
They would follow her around like pets. When she weeded the garden, they would crowd around her excitedly, scratch the dirt as if they were helping, and eagerly grab any worm or bug that was uncovered.
I realized that chickens weren't stupid. They had personalities. Birds are smart.

In a (small) city near where my wife and I live now, wild chickens roam the streets and next to the highway. A few hang out around the cineplex and fast food outlets looking for handouts.
When you sit outside to eat, one or two might come near but keep their distance. It's fun to feed them fries and bits of food.

My wife and I live on 30 acres in a rural area. When a lady next door was moving, she gave us her four chickens. Each one was a different variety. They were really pretty.
We built a small coup inside our deer fenced orchard/raised bed area. We thought they would be safe inside the fenced area.
We would let them out in the morning to forage all day. In the evening, they would return to the coup and we would lock them up for the night.
They would eat feed out of my hand and let me pet them. They were cute and gave us delicious eggs.
One evening, only three returned to the coup.
The next day, we looked all around and finally found some feathers. We didn't know if a hawk or fox or what got her.
Over the next week or so, the rest disappeared one by one. The last one wouldn't return to the coup. I saw it roosting in the middle of a bushy lemon tree. It was terrorized and traumatized.
It soon disappeared.
Soon after, I saw a bobcat hop over the 7' fence as if it was a 3' banister. I realized that it was the one who had gotten our poor girls.

If you want to talk about ass holes. Geese will chase you, hiss, bite, and beat you with their wings. I've got stories about geese.

OneViewpoint · Accepted Answer

I love this bit of Hillbilly Death Metal from our American Cultural Heritage Series. The guy actually did a great job with it.

It now has a home in my digital music collection alongside Ween 12 Golden Country Greats...

https://www.youtube.com/embed/_du0DtAKsww https://www.youtube.com/embed/nFOKwgx20FU https://www.youtube.com/embed/vB_gxLykQ_w

purplepoppy · Accepted Answer

Chicken are baby cockatrices. If we stopped eating them they grow into massive beasts that terrorised the country. In effect if you eat chicken your practically a hero.

If you want proof just about every region of Europe has a cockatrice horror story. Ours is called the ceiliog neidr, literally snake cock. We didn't really think that one through.

So yes chickens are Satan's fluffy little demons.

NoDecision · Accepted Answer

Yet you don't complain about their eggs that you eat, or their flesh at KFC.  What happens when chickens cross the road.

Cinematic Lily · Accepted Answer

Chickens are chaotic little dinosaurs, but sadly for your horror-movie narrative, they’re not the spawn of Satan… just the spawn of millions of years of evolution 😂🐔

Those cold beady eyes and jerky raptor moves are pure “Jurassic Park extras” energy. I kinda love that you’ve turned it into Dark Appalachian folk rap lore though. That genre description is badass, and chickens 100% fit the moonshine–murder–folklore vibe. 👹🎻🎧

WindAtMyBack · Answer

What came first? The chicken or Satan? Like are the little' chicks in tha eggs evil?

Them folk down home are misunderstood. Friendliest folk around. If you'r there at supper time, there will be a place at the table set fer ya. Don't matta' who ya are, supper is waitin'. It's just assumed yer gonna stay fer supper.

Cool song, but ain't nuttin' new. Them hillbillies bin trippin' forevea.
Wait fer it...

https://www.youtube.com/embed/c4G4Ip5Wo1I

Cherry pie? Them ol'boys be talkin' dirty?

ManOnFire · Answer

How you feel about chickens is exactly how I feel about octopuses. I hate the fukc out of those freaking creatures. But sorry, no I don't have that loathing for chickens, I find them hilarious and adorable lol.

by the way that 'Appalachian rap' just sounds like folk music with a mix of black and white cultures, which is actually pretty normal for that region. Sounds like the kind of tune you would hear for a Netflix or 2010s cable series lol. Now I'm curious to know your thoughts on the very mysterious "melungeon" people.

FreyaRed · Answer

We had garden chicken few years back and they differ in character. Most evil chicken we had was British Sussex bread, polish Greenlegs aren't especially nice either but American Playmouthrock breed wasn't aggressive and evil at all.
This brown chicken depicted in this song looks very similar to red German 'Reichs Huhn', a breed developed by evil German scientist to dominate the world. It's slightly modified and used in egg production today.

LazerBean · Answer

Chickens can be so cute, fun, and sweet! Some breeds are more aggressive than others though. Also, it seems like they can absolutely tell when someone is afraid of chickens, and it seems to flip a switch on them.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I eat chicken when I do not have access to yogurt because the chicken has vitamin B6 which helps me fall asleep at night. And I eat peanuts for magnesium and potassium because it is the cheapest source of magnesium and potassium that I can think of, but if I am going somewhere that does not have peanuts out of respect for those with allergies, I will eat vegetables and protein for that.

SamIam96 · Answer

Keep that chicken away from me but gimme more of that music. Tell me that you didn't use AI to create it. 'Cause I was gonna sleep and now, I'm crack'n another beer.

NathanDavis · Answer

ever been to the land of the thunder from down under?

Nikki1989 · Answer

They have the death stare and cannibalistic tendencies, so maybe.

emeraldsaphire · Answer

We had chickens when I was a kid, they were really cute, smart and even fun. I might go talk to my husband about getting some in a few years, I think they'd be a great experience for our daughter.

LC75LC71 · Answer

Hey listen, I didn't create those crazy fuckers. Nor the turkey..

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If you have ever eaten fried chicken, you know that those birds are a delicious gift from God!

Agape93 · Answer

I mean they really dinosaurs. Plus @lordofthepines told me last year his roosters kicked a possum to death and zippered its stomach open.

Apulu_backagain · Answer

No wonder they are the best when fried by hellish heat!

Bricealan · Answer

@randomgirl42 No they are not. They look at you that way because they KNOW you are going to wring their neck and have them for dinner.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

FWIW, several movies (e. g. Angel Heart) depict them as props for satanic rituals.

exitseven · Answer

No, they just do not like people stealing their eggs

Phoenix98 · Answer

I mean technically if any animal is a spawn of Satan it'd be goats.

whosnumber_1 · Answer

Ha! So I have chickens, 12 to be exact. They are not evil but... They are opportunists and would Peck the shit out of each other for a piece of bread.

AngryCarl3 · Answer

Mmm, spawn of Satan is delicious!

Likes2drive · Answer

Maybe that’s why they taste so good, lol

Staximus · Answer

No spawn of Satan would taste so go fried

Dargil · Answer

No, but Democrats are.

strateguy632 · Answer

Clever!

dougeats · Answer

Noooooo... only if you're Flemish.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Trump, not chickens, is Satan's spawn !!!

Are chickens the spawn of Satan?

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