How do I handle my girlfriend seeing video games and computers as evil?

Question

I rarely play video-games. Most of the time I prefer to do productive activities, or physical activities. Weeks can pass without me playing anything.

But the very few moments I play I enjoy it very much. I enjoy short indie games, which I can play for half an hour up to an hour, here and there. Rather than dopamine driven, games with some depth.

Since I was a kid I was a quite creative person. I got into computer programing because I loved how computers allowed to create anything you wanted, and I enjoyed playing video-games in healthy amounts with friends together at home once or twice a week.

But the issue is that my girlfriend thinks both video-games and computers are evil, and a completely waste of time. Yet she says, herself, that she wants to play with me once a month for an hour, even if she will hate it.

I don't like that. I don't like her playing with me forcefully.

But at the same time playing by myself, with someone that judges them so badly, feels kind of weird. Going from barely playing to not playing at all feels like removing the break from school, even when you like studying.

But more deeply I feel she doesn't get why I like technology so much, and she is in the opposite side of the spectrum. She only sees the time-wasting side of it, of doom-scrolling and getting addicted to shit, versus the more quality side of it where you are actively creating, participating, and the content you create has substance.

Same as comparing some random videos on TikTok, or watching whatever they put on TV, versus watching a movie masterpiece.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

She may have been being hyperbolic and a bit tongue in cheek when she said that video games and computers are "evil". After all, she said she would like to play a video game with you some time. And I'm sure she has used computers or at least computerized devices before.

I can see her point in a way. While electronic devices have benefits, they are also used for evil to spy on us, monitor our activities, and gather information about us. And some apps are designed to be addictive. They may even program us and affect our minds in other ways.

She might be aware of those dangers, as well as things like 5G radiation, chemtrails, unhealthy ingredients in our food, harm to animals, plants and the environment, etc.

I think people who are wary of electronic devices and minimize their use are smart.

What kinds of things does she like to do? Does she like the outdoors, nature, gardening, reading, making things, hand crafts, cooking and baking, in person human interaction?

Can she accept the fact that you like computers and technology?
Can you appreciate the things she likes? Instead of thinking she is a weirdo and focusing on incompatibility, can you learn more about her reasoning while focusing on her amazing qualities and things you have in common?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

You are probably best to dump her and find yourself a girl that has more in common with you , when a partner can’t accept the things you enjoy doing whether it’s a lot or just here and there , then they aren’t the right person for you , the right person is someone that respects your space and respects the things that you do without trying to control or manipulate you into something they want you to be. They accept you for you and support you in every which way possible , it isn’t going to be perfect bl, because no one is perfect , but being with someone that respects you and supports you is way better than someone that doesn’t. A partner should bring happiness and support , not misery and negativity. Your girlfriend doesn’t have to like video games or computers but she should respect that you do without trying to sabotage it for you. I like having some craft beer on the weekends after a long week of work , and my ex hated that I enjoyed having a few beers on a Friday night and she did everything she could to sabotage that , because it wasn’t something she liked to do. I could see if I was drinking every day and getting bombed , but that wasn’t the case at all , but she did everything she could to sabotage it , so I got rid of her ass and realized my life is better without her

midnightmoon05 · Accepted Answer

This is actually not about video games.

this is more about how two communicate.

if you see her as one you can be married to… then here it is:

Does she feel neglected? Does she feel happy?/fulfilled romantically? how is this communicated? Honey… anything I can do to help… I am kinda tire… let me know if you need me… I am going to play for 30-40 minutes to relax…
or… babe… every Tuesday is game night with the guys…

but my Friday and Saturday is all for you…

Kelley1 · Accepted Answer

Give her an appropriate amount of your time. Beyond that, let her do her thing, and you do yours. However, if she is controlling, it will only get worse, so take a week or two and replace her. Available women in their thirties are a dime a dozen. When, in their late teens and twenties, women hold all cards and are difficult to find. When, in their 30s and above men hold all the cards and women are easy to find.

Cinematic Lily · Accepted Answer

You’re not wrong for liking games or tech, and she’s not evil for disliking them 😅 This is mainly a values clash.

Explain calmly that for you, games and computers are like any other art or hobby: meaningful in moderation, creatively inspiring, and part of who you are. Emphasize how rarely you play and how programming shaped you.

Tell her you don’t want her to force herself to play; you just need respect, not participation. She doesn’t have to like your hobby, but she should treat it the way you’d treat something she enjoys that isn’t your thing.

If she still frames it as “evil” despite your healthy habits, that’s not about games, it’s about control and judgment. Then you decide whether you can be with someone who pathologizes a harmless, important part of your identity 🎮💻

NathanDavis · Answer

"willful ignorance" is very difficult to deal with... and based on the term "evil" I'll confidently assume that she's a very religious one as well

and for people like that... there is no reason to reason, just dogma to follow

I am however surprised by the fact that she decided to "try" and game with you and I would see this as a GOLDEN opportunity... not only because she is willing to change her approach, but also because she is giving you the chance to maybe change her mind about these things

if I were you... I would not let it pass... this opportunity

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

🔷  "my girlfriend thinks both video-games and computers are evil" 🔷  "Yet she wants to play with me once a month even if she will hate it." ... I mean masochism and paradox can have a baby, yep. In all seriousness, I wouldn't bother finding any compromise with her when the gap between you both is as cavernous as that. It would be a lost cause. In fact, I wouldn't even fall for someone envisioning things like that. But assuming I would still love her, then I'd care for my hobbies far from her sight.

WellBye · Answer

How do we know your definition of “rarely” isn't half the day? I had an ex who played for hours and still called it rarely.🤣🤣

But if you really play a reasonable amount and she's acting like your mom trying to control everything you do, then her control issues are a way bigger problem than your gaming habit.

Calyptomaniac · Answer

Sometimes two legos don't fit together and you have to go find a different one that does...

At some point, the technology must be useful to her and maybe you can not so subtly point it out when such an occasion arises

queenofcardio · Answer

Try getting over it and reaching a compromise. Otherwise, maybe consider your options regarding the relationship.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Sounds like you two have some fundamental differences. Why are you with her? Why is she with you? Is she worth it?

Nikki1989 · Answer

Nothing is evil. It is how you use it or abuse it.

bingbongbangbung · Answer

I thought you were a loner and didn't have a girlfriend?

exitseven · Answer

sometimes people have an opinion of something that will never change. Either you can deal with it or else find somebody new.

AngryCarl3 · Answer

There's no cure for crazy. But she's half right anyway, because computers can be a mixed blessing.

worldscolide · Answer

You don't, you move on and find a woman who isn't a freaking moron.

computertech · Answer

Talk calmly, listen to her concerns, and explain your healthy use of games and computers. Focus on respect and balance, and discuss whether your values can work together long term.

msc545 · Answer

Get a new girlfriend. The one you have now is far too crazy to be safe.

Abbycado · Answer

Dump her. She’s too controlling

Mark_Est · Answer

Simple. Make that nutter your ex girlfriend.

Zionne · Answer

find a new girlfriend lol

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Is she a bible-thumper or muslim?

Anonymous · Answer

Try to talk her into playing with you.

jahaims · Answer

Don't date an idiot

leviopperman · Answer

she sounds dumb

How do I handle my girlfriend seeing video games and computers as evil?

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Why does my girlfriend hate when I play video games?

How do I handle my girlfriend seeing video games and computers as evil?

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Why does my girlfriend hate when I play video games?

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