Having an Alcoholic as a Dad

[Anonymous]

Today is another evening he comes back home from work drunk...so drunk that he's unable to walk or talk properly...I wanna write this take to give you an idea of how it feels like to live by the side of an alcoholic father, and also because am feeling really down right now.

He prefers his bottle much more than everything..his alcoholic drinks come first.. its like the WORLD to him....my dad won't hesitate to argue with everyone when he's back home...he would argue with my mom, my brothers(but they're lucky to work till late sometimes so they're home when he's asleep) and me...i am the one who deal with most of his sh** ! and i hate it..

when he's back from work he'd look for any little thing to start an argument...then he'll keep on insisting until my mom would ignore him when he talks..then he'd start to piss me off by provoking me and sometimes by cursing at me (and also to my bros )...then comes THE ARGUMENT...and i often end up with a red face full of anger and crying in my room feeling like shi**

What's even more irritating is during times when we meet with other family members...its way too embarrassing and i end up leaving the family's place to get back home earlier to avoid getting more embarrassed..he'd keep on drinking like a bottomless pit and he'll even ask for more drinks(despite the fact that he's already drunk af at that moment)... and other family members make fun of him and this makes me wanna hide my face forever and from everyone..

the day after..in the morning when he wakes up sober..he'd totally deny that he was drunk the day before...my mom would often threaten to send him to rehab center but he; he'd avoid the whole conversation and hide instead..all he does whenever we bring his alcoholism as a subject of conversation....is to ignore and keep doing his things

i get stressed out a lot and as a result i feel inferior to everyone i have issues(confidence issues/trust issues)...i don't talk about this issue to anyone in my surrounding by the fear of getting judged (and yeah where i live its very easy to get judged...) the only one who knows is "someone" and now am writing it here on GAG

sometimes i feel like it will better for me to simply move out of my house and leave but then i think about my mom...and i hate thinking that she will have to deal with all this alone...i'd never want to be with a drinker because i don't want to end up like my mom (with an alcoholic as a husband)

#Lifelesson

What i want to share with you guys today is that if you know an alcoholic in your surrounding....you at least know how it feels like to his family (from what i wrote above)

And yea...my dad is a selfish prick that doesn't care about me or my fam and he will never change ..even tho there are alcoholics who want a change in their lives and they'd do anything for it...but its not the case for my dad...this selfish man prefers drinking more than anything else

PS: i prefer to go anon for this take because i have my own reasons...

[TakeMaker]

Alcohol is a terrible terrible drug, the main danger is that it's so socially acceptable. If you're dad was a heroin addict people wouldn't be so accepting of the fact.

I'm very sorry you have to live with this but please, please do not feel like you can't leave because your mother will have yo deal with him. It's bad enough she allows this shit around her children to begin with but for you to feel bad about trying to leave is even worse. This is her husband and her choice to stay, not yours. It shouldn't be your cross to bear. Please don't ever feel as if you are abandoning your mother, she chooses to stay. She should be helping you and your family not enabling this man to stay drunk. He needs to face up to his issues but that more than likely won't happen because there is nothing to force his hand.

Just try and get out as soon as you can, try not to engage him while he's drunk too. I know it must be hard when he's looking for an argument but just try not to have anything to do with him.

[myTake Owner]

what you said is true

[Slackster]

I grew up with a alcoholic father and mother, I learned to
rely only on myself at an early stage. I suggest you do the same.

Cutting out people that are holding you down in life
is prefered than to be in pain because of their mistakes.

[myTake Owner]

oh am sorry to hear about that :(
i often avoid it but its kinda hard

[EmmyGiraffe]

I grew up with a alcoholic dad and those were the worst years of my life. My dad would come home drunk and beat up my mom. Once almost slapped my sister to deaf. He slowly quit drinking when I started middle school but the violence didn't completely stopped until my mom was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago. My opinion is a holding onto a bad marriage has a worse impact on children than just ending it. My mom didn't want to let go of him. She could have if she wanted to. My dad did nothing but damages. He's a deadbeat and he was cheated on my mom the whole time. That's why i have a problem with my boyfriend getting drunk even if he's not a bad drunk. The smell and the drunk voice just kills me.

[EmmyGiraffe]

Sorry about the typos i got a little emotional lol

[myTake Owner]

oh :( am sorry
but i can relate... we're of the same age by the way

[Rocket_Queen]

" i feel like it will better for me to simply move out of my house and leave but then i think about my mom... and i hate thinking that she will have to deal with all this alone.."

Your mom is not your responsibility. And I'm sure your mother is great and doing the best that she can, but realistically she should be responsible for you all and see what he is doing to you guys. She should save you guys, not you save her.

I don't know how old you are, but if you can move out and do it without a huge struggle I would. This was my husbands father and he moved out at 17 and has done amazing for himself. You have to put you first sometimes, and this is one of those situations.

Lastly, my heart goes out to you. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

[myTake Owner]

thanks for your opinion
am 22 by the way
and the society i live in is pretty conservative

[Rocket_Queen]

You're welcome and hoping for the best for you.

[myTake Owner]

thanks

[Marie213]

My father was/is an alcoholic very few people suffering from alcoholism will ever change and minority of the time they will make every effort to bring you down emotionally and physically. When I was younger I seen more than what I should have at a young age and it did change my outlook and youth, until I got older. Now I feel pity for him that he lost so much time with his family and in turn lost myself in the long run, I would still be there for him because I won't allow myself to abandon him as he done to my mother or I. Don't allow anyone to effect you mentally and remember it is not your fault.

[myTake Owner]

thanks for your opinion

[SaraMcK]

My dad was alcoholic. It killed him. Im so sorry youve been through so much stuff with your dad, that stuff is poisen. :(

[myTake Owner]

i am sorry :(
and yes the ones who invented alcoholic drinks invented poisons

[Ahmed_Sy15x]

I'm really really really sorry to hea that, alcohol ruins lifes, and you're not the only one.

[myTake Owner]

it ruins everything