The Mythical Friend Zone

That's right, I said it! The "friend zone" is FAKE!

There is not a possible case where a guy can accidentally make the wrong choice and never be considered as a possible boyfriend... However, there are several situations that are often mistaken to be the "friend zone". (keep in mind, these ideas are gender neutral, I'm only using guys as an example to make things easier.)

1. The classic, "She only likes me as a friend" scenario.

In this case, the guy and girl are already friends, but he wants to be more. There are only a few possible outcomes from this scenario.
Gogus olculeri

  • a. She actually likes him back, but is afraid to admit it, possibly even to herself

  • b. She is not initially attracted to him, but may grow to like him over time

  • c. She is especially un-attracted to him, for any variety of reasons, but there is no possible way that she will like him. In this scenario, the guy doesn't have any choice or say in the matter, she just will not like him in a romantic way. The idea of a "friend zone" assumes that what a guy does in the very start of a relationship determines if he will or will not be "friend zoned", which is clearly not the case here.

2. The guy and girl have just met (or haven't even got that far), "What can I do so I won't be friend zoned?"

Now, this one is a big pet peeve of mine... There is NOTHING that you can do. Girls will be attracted to you based on their own personal preferences (even subconscious ones) and although you can possibly find out what those preferences are and display your abilities to meet her expectations, you cannot change the overall outcome of whether or not she will be attracted to you.

The truth will all eventually come out, and no matter what qualities you show first, she will eventually know all or most of them and will make her own decision. The possible outcomes are:

  • a. She will not initially be attracted to you, but as she finds out more about you, she will discover qualities that weren't obvious before and will begin to be attracted to you.

  • b. She will right away be attracted to you (this is usually physically based, initially, since she doesn't know anything about you yet) and after getting to know you, your traits and qualities will only strengthen her attraction

  • c. She will not initially be attracted to you, and as she gets to know you, your traits and qualities will not be the ones she subconsciously finds attractive, so she will remain un-attracted (see 1.c)

  • d. She will be initially attracted to you, but as she gets to know you, your traits and qualities turn out to be lacking or different from what she wants, and her attraction will dwindle and fade. (again, see 1.c)
"The BEST way to go in every case is to make a friend before making a girl/boyfriend."

These things are always up for change based on different variables. If a strict, structured girl were being tested with someone who commits crimes, assuming that this factor was a turn-off for her, then if he somehow miraculously found the Lord or something and completely reshaped his life, it may be a different story.

The biggest point I want to try and show through all of this is that you do not have to begin your relationship on the pretense of a romance for a romantic relationship to develop. These relationships are fleeting, and usually leave you with more regrets than anything else. I have always said and will always continue to say that the best way to go in every case is to make a friend before making a girl/boyfriend.

If your romantic relationship is built around a tried and tested, fireproof friendship, it is much more likely to succeed than an empty romance just thrown off a cliff without a parachute.
The Mythical Friend Zone
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