Sorry if this is long, it is my first my-take, and I might use some stereotypes so sorry if I do, and no offense about anything is intended. Anyways, I have only ever been spanked, but I still think it has had a big impact on my life growing up, and it wasn't a good one, so I really hope this will persuade even just one person to think before they smack.
So here are Four Reasons to Never Hit Your Child:
1. It teaches your children it's OK to hurt people that are smaller than you
When you hit your child, weather or not you explain why, what they are taking in is that 'I didn't do what Daddy wanted, so now he's hurting me.' This is NOT an acceptable thing to teach, it insures that at some point in their life, weather as young children or adults, they will act aggressively and believe it's OK to intimidate those 'smaller' than them to get what they want. And smaller doesn't even have to mean physically. It could be in 50 years when your son threatens a young employee's job because they refused to go to dinner with them, or your popular teenage girl making everyone hate the new girl for talking to her crush.
2. Your child will be afraid of you
I know this seems very obvious, and some people may even think it's a good thing, but I promise you it's not. Of course, it depends on your child, but for me, being afraid of my father went like this:
Up till I was about 8, I used to scream at my father, and he would scream at me, and chase me to my room and spank me. However, not once did I truly regret my behavior, and not once did I care to change it.
But what did change was the fear. I was sick of running away from my father. So instead of running away, I decided I wouldn't be there in the first place. Every time my father entered a room, I exited. Every time he got in the car, I would walk to school. For about 3 years, I hardly spoke to him, and all the while he drank and drank and got fired from countless jobs. Our relationship made him crazy, and it didn't end well for anyone.
Although your child may not be quite as extreme, the fear they feel when you spank them will, without question change your relationship. What they would have told you before, they won't. Maybe they're being bullied at school. Or maybe they're gay. Maybe their creepy uncle made them get in the shower with them. You may think you know everything you need to about your child, but if you're smacking them, weather its once a day or once a month, I'll bet you don't know half as much as you should. When we're children, we don't always know what is acceptable to say and what is not, so instead of asking, in the end they'll just stop talking and hope you don't growl them.
3. It can have a big affect on relationships
I think this is mainly for girls, though not all, and I guess it's kinda weird, but I think for some people it is also very relevant. As I mentioned, my father used to smack me, and this has had a very big impact on relationships. I found that when guys smacked me, I actually liked it, and I remember it felt the same as when my father would. (However, I am in no way attracted to him, when I think about him I personally think he is quite disgusting.) I know it is abusive to be hit, but I didn't really mind I guess, and although now I won't tolerate it, if your child does, it can be quite dangerous. It can lead to being rapped, or being stuck in a very dangerous and abusive relationship.
No one should ever have to associate physical (or mental) pain with love, and as you are your childs main source of love, smacking them will make them be more likely to associate the two together.
This is why although I'm sure parents (haha especially fathers!) don't want to think about their daughters enjoying being spanked or hit by other men, I think this is a very important point, and you need to consider it, before hitting your child.
4. Smacking does not teach them about life
I believe punishments should have some resemblance to life, and spanking does NOT. If you are late to work, you do not get belted by your angry boss. You get a warning, and then you get fired. When you call your friends fat, they do not stick you on their lap and spank you. No, they stop hanging out with you.
This works the same with kids- when they are rude, they don't get to go to their friends birthday party, or when they throw a toy, they lose it. It might take some patients because it can take a while for kids to understand consequences, but in the end, I believe if you follow through, explain what's happening, and more importantly, set a good example, they will begin to follow suit.
I hope this My-take changed some opinions, and please comment your own thoughts/anything I could of added! Thanks for reading!! :)
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