Family & Friends

The Problem With Online Friendship: My Firsthand Experience.

The Problem With Online Friendship: My Firsthand Experience.

This is a bit of a rant, I guess.

I'm gonna start by recounting my experience with Internet friends.

Ok, so I had a different account on GaG a year back and when I was deactivating it, I asked this girl if she'd like to stay in touch. She replied and then we exchanged WhatsApp numbers. She was from well, forget about it. If she's reading this, she knows.

I was so excited about finally having a friend from a different country. It was all fun and games. She seemed to be so cute, and a sweet 19 year old.
It was all good and it felt like we're gonna stay friends till what? Eternity? We had to have conversations every day. Everything seemed so real. We even called up each other and once in a while video called each other.
And then, I had my national exams of Grade 12. So, I told her that I'd keep my phone switched off for a long time now. And I had given her another number just in case she wanted to contact me.


Boom! 3 and a half months later, when I finally get my phone and I'm so excited to hear from her, I get nothing.

Throughout my exams, I was so excited to share what all happened with me and to know what happened to her, with her... Did she finally talk to guy she had dated but been ignoring? Did she finally talk to her best friend of 10 years with whom she had a major argument?

But when I switch on the application all I see is the messages that I sent her 3 and a half months back were delivered. Never read. I send her a text message saying we could finally talk and how excited I was... All messages delivered, she didn't read it. Her last seen kept changing but she never read any one of the messages.

I texted her saying that I felt like it was all a technical problem and I'm gonna call her up. The time told me she had finished classes for that day.

I felt like and I believed that it was a technical problem. But seems like it was an emotional problem.

The friendship signals that I had sent, somehow never reached her heart. I decided to call her up. I called up twice. The second time a man picks up.

"Hello" ?

I was certainly not expecting a male voice. I didn't reply the first time and when I did, all I heard was a beep in response. And then, she blocks me. She simply blocked me.

Finished. Over. A relationship of 11 months and 21 days over in a minute. And it's not like I texted her and immediately called her up. I Waited. Waited for the whole day.

I remember I told her that I was excited about our "Friendship anniversary" that would be on April 1st.

And NO. I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO WISH HER HAPPY FRIENDSHIP ANNIVERSARY.

The Problem With Online Friendship: My Firsthand Experience.

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The Problem With Online Friendship: My Firsthand Experience.

What's the actual problem with Online Friendship?

I'll tell you.

The problem with online friendship is that when things go wrong, we split.

When I say something that makes you uncomfortable, or when you offend me, we’ll go our separate ways more often than not. And this flies in the face of how people actually become friends.

True friendship only happens when people honestly share their lives with one another. Inevitably, one person will upset the other.

This is what happens when you put flawed humans in a room together: they start breaking things. Usually each other.

The Problem With Online Friendship: My Firsthand Experience.

Something odd happens with this heightened level of intimacy without commitment. People get sensitive.

Because I know what you ate for breakfast or what TV show you watched last night, I feel like I know you. We are connected to each other — and sometimes not always superficially. We may share legitimate, real-life interactions. As a result, we feel like we really understand each other. And maybe we do, in some way.

But the problem comes when one of us says something to get on the other’s nerves.

And trust me: it’s going to happen. Then, we are in a pickle. Because it’s easy to ignore people online, to play passive-aggressive and give the cold shoulder. And the worst part is they have no idea.

It’s easier to write off online relationships than offline ones. And this scares me.

Why does that make you scared?

Because I have a few of these web-based friendships. And I want them to count. I want this connection to matter — as much as it can. I felt like my investment in the friend’s well-being was bigger than the investment she had in my own. And that. That, folks was when I should have logged out of the friendship.

But, I'm ready. Ready to take another chance, I know that I'll find someone better than the last encounter.

What I really enjoy about making friends online is the opportunity to meet other people without the perceptual filters and stereo-types we inevitably have. We can connect meaningfully with people from all over the world and learn about other cultures. We can look for others who share our esoteric tastes.
But YES, I'M GONNA BE CAREFUL THIS TIME.

'RAG' has already broken my heart.

ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY.

All love,

Angelina25 💜

[DEDICATED to the once online friend, who ghosted me, 'RAG']

The Problem With Online Friendship: My Firsthand Experience.
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