Don`t get me wrong. I love my brother. We are like best friends in many ways. There is just one thing that drives me crazy. His depression. This isn`t the kind of depression he "makes up" or "fakes", because his depression is very real. He used to take pills, go to therapy etc. Now he is in a very dark place, and I used to feel sorry for him. Now I don`t. You`ll see why.
I might come off as harsh or cruel. I used to think that about me. But his depression is not an excuse for what he does. I just don`t feel sorry for depressed people who think everyone should feel sorry for them when they want everyone else to give everything to them with nothing in return.
1. He always asks my parents for money.
He is 23 years old, and still asks my parents for a lot of money. My other brother and I still live at home and need as much support we can receive. Every time I need money for medication, or my brother needs money for a dentist appointment, my dad says we have to pay for it ourselves. Meanwhile, my brother, who lives hours away from home (he used to have a job- I`ll come back to this later), drains my parents` accounts every month and doesn`t pay them back nor feel sorry. The worst thing is, he never learns.
Let me just get something clear. Where I live, you get a lot of support from the government for going to university. My brother gets this support (which is a lot), plus, he had a really good job, AND he lives alone, so he only has to pay for himself.
2. He spends all his money on pointless gadgets.
He is a university student. He doesn`t need to buy a Nintendo Switch, the most powerful gaming PC in the market and the best gaming headset. Still, he has the guts to ask my parents for money. Why won`t he sell all of that unnecessary stuff and buy food to survive instead?
3. He always asks my parents and me for advice, but NEVER takes it.
He will text me randomly one day and ask me what to do about a certain situation. Of course, all I want to do is help him, because I love him. The most annoying thing is, he never takes my advice! I sit there for hours, listening, talking, texting... and he never listens. It drives me crazy.
4. He is not prioritizing right.
Right in the middle of the school year, he chooses to go abroad. Not only is it expensive- he has work to do! I never understood why he planned a vacation in the middle of the semester. Also, he has never done internships. He always wants to come home and do nothing. This is very serious, especially when he has to go out in life and get a career after school. Most places require experience from internships. He won`t have any.
Also, when you are depressed, it`s only logical that you should get professional help. Where he lives, it`s free. So I don`t get why the heck if his life is so bad, GET HELP.
5. He doesn` t go looking for a job.
He has been unemployed for five months or so. No wonder he`s broke! I get that he could need a little support from my parents, but he doesn`t even try to get a job.
He quit his other job because he "had a good feeling" about another interview he was in. -.- He didn`t even get the job. Smh.
6. He desperately wants a girlfriend, but he doesn` t even take care of himself.
Poor guy. He is very handsome, but he has the worst hygiene. He never showers, wears the same boxers for days and has like two pairs of socks. His hair is grown out, he gained a lot of weight and he even grew a beard. He complains that he will never get a girlfriend, but I don`t have the heart to tell him that the best girls want a) a man who takes care of himself b) someone who has financial stability etc.
Guys, I am really sorry I had to put out my brother like this. I just want you to know, it doesn`t matter if you are depressed. You need to do something about it, and at least try. You can`t exploit people and their kindness. Otherwise, I really do feel sorry for depressed people. Just not people like my brother. It`s like everything he does is a vicious circle. Spends too much on junk- wastes time- bad priorities- no job-no money-bad food-bad hygiene-bad esteem-no girlfriend-lower esteem- more depression