This is a mytake about my personal reasons on why I don't think I'll ever have children unless I meet specific criterias first.
So this is a big one, I want to be able to buy a house when I have children, maybe not 'outright' I don't mind mortgages however what I do mind is renting to a landlord that could up the rent whenever he feels like he wants to, also the restrictions on rented houses vs owning your own are something I don't want to deal with. Renting requires long-term stability and sometimes that cannot always be foreseen. Circling back to the word income, I don't believe my income will be much more above minimum wage and I want my children to be able to experience the life I didn't, experiencing different cultures, going abroad, tasting different foods, never having an empty fridge, not having to think about adult problems before the age of 16.
Divorce rates & how common cheating is.
'A staggering 67% of couples in the study reported a decline in relationship satisfaction after the arrival of the first baby. The decline typically shows up between six months (for women) and nine months (for men) after the baby comes home' - Washington Post
In general, men are more likely than women to cheat: 20% of men and 13% of women reported that they've had sex with someone other than their spouse while married, according to data from the recent General Social Survey(GSS)
The UK divorce rate is estimated at 42%. Over 100,000 British couples got a divorce in 2019. The average UK divorce age is 46.4 for men and 43.9 for women.
Right, so now that's out of the way. Could you imagine raising a child in an unstable environment where you aren't happy with your partner romantically because of cheating, physical attraction, etc, not to mention the big one, divorce and separation, all of a sudden a financially comfortable family becomes a single parent with a little child support. (child support is a lot less in the UK). No, I am not bashing men, my dad was a single father. This environment would be harmful to the child and unsteady.
So throughout my teen years I had a lot of mental instability, it's now resolved however I still have down days, as a mother, you cannot afford down days you must be there for your child 100% and I believe that. If I cannot do that, then why would I have a child?
The majority of women (up to 9 in every 10) will tear to some extent during childbirth. Most women will need stitches to repair the tear. Most tears occur in the perineum; this is the area between the vaginal opening and the anus (back passage). NHS UK
Now if you ask me that's pretty traumatic, and of course, your body will never quite be the same even after vigorous exercise and diet, which can be hard to deal with in itself, and often SOME men stop being intimate with their partner after childbirth, even months after.
Seeing your body as never before which creates insecurities, raising a child for the first time, and having your husband not giving you the same intimacy anymore sounds like a hard thing to get through and anxiety-inducing. (I understand not immediately after, I'm talking months.)
My mother also almost died during childbirth because she has a very small pelvis for some reason, this makes me paranoid that maybe id be the same.
Stretch marks usually fade over time but may not disappear completely. Many creams and lotions claim to prevent, reduce or remove stretch marks. But there's very little evidence these work. There are some treatments that may help make stretch marks look better, but they will not get rid of them. - NHS UK
This concludes my my-take, I've summarised it quite a bit but I'm going to answer some common misconceptions I have:
The real reason is because you're not a traditional woman! Yes, I am not in the way I want to go to university, but I am very much traditional in the fact that I would love a husband and children.
Do you hate children!?!? No, I do not although they can be a struggle, you're raising a whole human! Of course they will be 'annoying' sometimes, id actually love to raise a child, and I'm quite good with children already.