Is dating in high school feasible if you can't drive or aren't allowed to have sex?

[Anonymous]

I am 16 and I'd love to have a girlfriend. I have tried going for a few girls but all of them rejected me/responded indifferently/flaked.

But now I am thinking - is dating in high school even feasible without being able to drive?

I heard it's a massive turn-off to girls. I probably won't have a license until sometime in college (that's just how my parents are).

The way it would have to work is my parents would have to drop me off and she would have to drive or get dropped off herself. And that's how we would return.

Not to mention, my parents would be hard to deal with and I am shy in front of them about these topics. I also don't know if my parents would be okay with me dating at this age and how much they would control me - which could lead to some massive fights. I feel like it might be too much of a hassle to have a girlfriend while I am living under my parents' roof - they still sort of are getting used to me growing up. I wouldn't even be allowed to have sex.

The problem is I am worried I won't get the experience and get good at talking to girls and that will be detrimental to my dating potential in college. And I have been hoping for a much better dating life in college (because grade school has sucked for me in terms of dating - I haven't been on a single date yet).

What should I do? Should I now abstain from going after girls until high school is over? The thing is, I WOULD love to have a girlfriend - and not just a fling or a hook-up, but an actual meaningful relationship. It's definitely something I want and have wanted for quite some time now, and Jad T Jones says that you shouldn't put off your dreams. "Live every day like it's your last," kind of idea.

What should I do?

[RBT-RS]

You're like me in some respects, although you must live in the USA as over here in the UK you can't drive until you're 17 and even then most people don't drive at that age due to cost. I've had one relationship, and it didn't go so well. I figure that I'm going to wait until I find someone that I feel truly attracted to, rather than giving in to the voice inside me which says "Dude, your friends all have girlfriends and you're the odd one out here". I know this isn't as much as advice, but seriously - there's no point in forcing yourself to flirt with people who you may not actually be attracted to.

This also coincides with my social title as "Robot", as girls and guys know what to expect from me -- I'll help in any way I can, although don't expect a lot of personal feelings on my half. Seriously, I have plenty of girls which I am friends with, and all of them seem content with the fact i'm not flirting with them (It probably makes a change for once!) As I said -- I'm waiting until I find someone who I can see myself with for a long time, and I'm pretty sure that's what most girls want from a guy anyway. (Don't quote me on that, i'm not a girl!)

So to round it up. Don't feel pressured into the hole of "You're the odd one out here". Get through school. For the most part, you'll meet "the one" when you're working or through social links.

[Asker]

It's not that I am feeling pressured by my friends or any external influences. I am actually attracted to girls and would actually love to have a girlfriend.

What I am asking is should I pursue girls who I am attracted to or should I suspend this practice until I move out of my parent's house and can actually have sex or drive?

[RBT-RS]

That's up to you. After all, you're 16 so anyone you approach at your age is likely having the same problem. As for older girls, then that wouldn't work until you've finished school. And for having sex, technically speaking you can still have that, I know people who have some entertaining stories circumventing the parental issue, and for driving really shouldn't be an issue (Although in the US it might be as the average size to population ratio is much higher than it is here in the UK.)

If you can see yourself with the girl (s) you're attracted to, get to know them. At least it will increase your confidence when you find "the one".

[Anonymous]

In the USA, unless they live near you. Your pretty much screwed.

Believe me if the girl is decent looking there will be 20 guys no prob ready to drive and screw your girl. And she will leave you the moment those "better" dudes come along.

As soon as I got my car at 18, Bam I got laid, Bam I got girls and so on.

[Anonymous]

Just wait for the right girl to come. You will find her. You don't have to date yet. You're just 16, you don't even need a girlfriend yet. Focus on school. Get some girl friends.

It's not a huge turn-off to girls that you don't drive, maybe to some girls though.

I want a kind of relationship that you want, and i believe there are a lots of girls out there who wants it like that. Not having sex all the time and stuff. Just being tioether as a couple, go out, go to the cinemas and so on. That would be so nice. To have a meaningful relationship.

[Asker]

Well getting a girlfriend is completely in my control. Girls don't "come". You have to approach them.

What I am asking here, is should I continue to approach/flirt with girls and try to get a date, or should I stop and wait for a girl to "come" (extremely slim chance of THAT happening, but whatever).

[Asker]

Okay so you're saying make friends with girls?

[Asker]

But don't flirt? I am sorry can you clarify?

[Opinion Owner]

You can flirt and approach to girls. Ofc. And you can make girl friends as well. Of course you have to approach to girls and stuff to find the right one. Just keep doing that ;)

[Opinion Owner]

It's great that you have dates. Like, that you approach to girls and try to get dates. But also don't just focus on girls all the time, and don't be clingy. Focus on school as well :)

[Asker]

Okay see that was my question. In the chance of you being struck by lightning, a girl actually likes me during my time in high school, is it feasible for me to date her not being able to drive (meaning my parents have to drive me) or have sex?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, of course. If it turns into a really great relationship, and it lasts for a long time, then you can wait till the time your parents allow you to have sex. It is not super necessary for a good relationship. But if you really want to have sex, you can discuss it with your parents.

When it comes to driving it's totally ok that your parents drive. You can also take the bus if your parents can't drive, but I wouldn't have taken the bus.

[kaitlovesyou]

It's over ratted and not worth the risks (had six kids before I turned 18), you don't need to date to flirt with people. And as for "I wouldn't even be allowed to have sex." Honestly no parents "allow" their teenagers to have sex. I know mine didn't, they only found out when I was 15 and pregnant.

[Asker]

Then how do they have it?

[kaitlovesyou]

I didn't ask permission, 99% of people don't it just happens

[Asker]

Yeah, but how do they do it without their parents catching them?

[knotme]

You can date but how long its going to last is the issue

[Asker]

Care to ellaborate?

[knotme]

How are you anyway?

[apropos]

You don't have to ride with your parents, just ride the bus.

I've done it before. It's probably not impressive, but it's been done.