I gave my depressed friend some head and now I feel guilty?

[Anonymous]

Long story short he's going through some Real tough times. He lost his job, needed to sell his car, girlfriend broke up with him about 1 month ago.
I've always been a good friend to him, and always liked to make him happy. One night he was just telling about how depressed he is and i felt so sad when he started to get tears in his eyes. I told him chin up, I can make him happy. So without hesitating i made him comfortable, gave him oral and even swallowed since i know guys like that.

Now i feel like a terrible friend. I feel so guilty because i feel like i invaded him. he's my friend, not some sex object and that's how i think of it now. Was it wrong for me to do this to him? :( I feel like a slut.

For the record i would never do this to anyone else. Only him.

[DodgersGM]

It seems like an odd way to comfort a friends, but that's just me and my perception speaking on the matter. It's not something that I would ever want from a friend, and to be honest I would even find it a little strange if a partner just wanted to go down on me while I was feeling down.

Anyway, like I said that's just MY opinion on it and he seems like he is fine with what went down. If you are feeling super guilty about it, just tell him how you're feeling. My guess is that he'll reassure you that it's fine, and hopefully you guys can just move on as friends. :-)

[Asker]

It was odd when i think about it now. But im known to do odd things by all my friends. This was the furthest I've ever gone with a friend so the feeling is all new to me. I kinda wish i can take back the moment but its too late. I do feel what i did was wrong but at the moment felt it was the right thing to do to make him real happy and cared for. I wanted to show it quickly and profoundly so i let it get the best of me.

Yes he's real special to me so i want to move on as Real Friends.

[DodgersGM]

I understand, we all do things that we'd like to go back on a think about some more before just going for it. You shouldn't shame yourself or beat yourself up for this. I don't know how it might affect your guys' friendship, but hopefully you guys will be able to move on from it and return to being good friends. :-)

[Asker]

I dont think weve separated from being good friends. Thats still there. Nothing has been awkward, if anything better. I can tell he's in a brighter mood now since i push him and motivate him more. If our friendship falls apart it would be because of me entirely.

[Tunakid]

If anything you were a good friend even though it isn't the traditional way to do it but if it made him feel better, what's the harm? I don't think you're a slut if you would only do it to him. The sex object thing is hard to explain for me but aslong as you talked to him there's no worries there. Im sure you made the guy really happy and maybe he will jump back on his feet :).

[Asker]

Yes he's currently working on his problems. he's sole committed to finding a job quick before he loses his apartment. If he does he can always come crash at my place as long as my landlords dont find out.

[Tunakid]

Oh good for him :). Well good luck to you both!

[Asker]

Thank you :)

[JackieGraves]

I wouldn't say you're a bad person. I feel like you likely had good intentions... but it wasn't the right choice to make. If he is your friend, you have to respect the boundaries that friends have, because you may unintentionally cause him to form more feelings than that of friendship. Now, if that's what you want, and the two of you are in agreeance to that, then there's no issue in what you did. However if this is just a friendship, then you need to keep the sexual aspect out of it, just out of respect for yourself and him.

Also no, you aren't a slut.

[Asker]

Yes i do need to respect the friendship boundaries. Thats what i failed to do. I completely disregarded his space as a friend. Thats why i feel like i violated him :(

Im not thinking of relationships right now so thats out of the question. Is it possible we can become something in the future? itll take a lot of work from both sides but sure.

[JackieGraves]

I think it's something you need to talk to him about. Be honest that relationships aren't currently on your mind... but you still care about him and don't want to lose him. He will appreciate your honesty and be reassured that you still care.

[Asker]

I told him just that! weird haha. he's very well aware of the fact i dont want relationships. Im still to get his full response to what i said.

[JackieGraves]

Then you're on the right track. I have a feeling you two will be just fine.

[Asker]

I hope for that. We are doing fine now too. thanks for commenting.

[JackieGraves]

No problem my dear.

[been_waiting]

Read the title and try to find it humorous. Because it is. It isn't a big deal. I know it may not align with your morals, but what's done is done. Just learn from it I guess? And don't give pity oral? Lol.

[Asker]

So i shouldn't do this again? please tell me.

[been_waiting]

If you want to, and he wants you to, do it by all means. If you feel bad about it then don't do it. :)

[Asker]

Yes i dont like the guilty feeling afterwards.

[been_waiting]

Why do you feel guilty? Is it because of your moral standings or society?

[Asker]

Yes kind of, and because i disrespected our friendship. I dont want him to view me as someone who is sexualized and manipulative. Now that i think about it, i dont know why i decided to go through with the BJ im so impulsive.

[Anonymous]

Does he act any different towards you, or is it you just feeling guilty.

[Asker]

No he's acting the same but just happier which is what i was intending to do. he's cute and all but i just dont want relationships with anyone at the time. Ill need to let him now if he ever decides to advance from only friendship.

[Opinion Owner]

Don't feel guilty, you didn't want to see your friend sad. Yeah just let him know it was a one time thing.
You are a good friend.

My best friend (guy) knows I've had some rough times, so he has girl talk with me & we watch movies when I'm feel sad.

[Asker]

Awesome same here :) i love it when i guy steps to your level of girlyness. Yes i feel it should be a one time thing.

[Roycaryn]

Weird, feeling guilty after sex is what guys are typically supposed to feel. He was feeling depressed and clearly wanted some female company, there's no shame in that. The only problem I see is how it affects your relationship with him.

[Asker]

Thats what i worry about too. Too soon to tell anyway.

[bDizzie]

Must be nice to be a girl...
If I fingered a friend in need, I'd be put in jail.
I don't see how a random bj helps a guy who's down on his luck. It only makes him want another one, every time you guys are around each other. Hope you're ready for that.
And if you refuse, you'll see him more depressed than he is now.
That being said, I could use friends like you! :)

[Asker]

this is exactly my concern whether he'll crave for another and unconsciously act like he's depressed to receive it. Like i said before its most likely a one time thing. It depends on how i handle it myself as well. Ill just give him a warm blanket and some cuddles.

[bDizzie]

You like him, don't you... girls don't do any of the things you just said for friends.

[Asker]

I believe I'm different. It's actually part of the reason why my boyfriend split from me because he felt we were too close. I've never mentioned it to him and if I did he'd probably get even more depressed.

I've know him for 5 years going strong so yeah I think it's safe to say he has some sentimental place in my heart. I do think he's cute but I don't know about boyfriend material yet.

[HonestWhiteGuy]

No you are't a slut and you probably made him feel like a million bucks, I think that was so nice of you :)

[Asker]

Thank you you're comment helps.

[Zango91]

If He thinks the same as how you think of him, It's gonna be okay. Well, It was a weird way of comforting a depressed friend, but if it worked, don't complain. I guess you need to have a little talk to him about it. You you wanted it to be a one time thing, make sure he realizes it. Don't let it spoil your friendship. And, No you are not a slut for doing that, but I've heard of hugs and cuddles, heads is a first.

[Asker]

haha i couldnt help but laugh at your end sentence. Yes most likely its a one time thing. Ill let him know. Ill just cuddle or maybe give him a little cheek kiss to reassure him there are people out there who truly care about him.

[Zango91]

:) :)

[wethepeople87]

Your a good friend to him lucky guy. I wish when I was down my female friends did that for me. Don't stop being his friend. You have no reason to fill bad. Your not a slut. You wanted to help your friend and you did. Let it go.

[Asker]

thanks. Itll take a while.

[wethepeople87]

What if he's depressed again? What will you do again?

[Asker]

Most likely no. Like some people said on here, its best to just leave it as a one time thing. I made him happy at the moment thats what was important to me. Besides i like finding creative ways to bring peoples mood up.

[TadCurious]

I'd would try to lighten up on yourself. He wasn't cheating on anybody, and I presume you weren't either. It was a consensual act, and you're an adult. So I wouldn't beat yourself up over giving your guy friend a blowjob.

[thewho1975]

Well i dont think it sounds anything other than giving some comfort to somebody you care about and lets be honest you ain't hurt anyone have you!

[Asker]

I hope i didn't hurt his feelings by teasing him.

[Anonymous]

Well you obviously like him. But, I do think you went about it in the wrong way. He has to get help on his own and sex is only a temporary fix to a long term problem (like alcohol). Plus, you probably just did it to get your sexual thrill, most women do that

[Asker]

I kind of do like him. We click as friends but dont now how we'd do in a relationship. We both have different mindset that will collide with one another. Thats what im afraid of. Another reason is i too got out of a long term relationship recently about half a year ago. So i dont want another one so quickly.

[Opinion Owner]

Right, you are on the rebound action, he'd be just a rebound to you

[Asker]

Exactly and i have too much respect for him to make him that. Id feel even worse.

[misscocobutter]

There are other ways to cheer someone up, but it's done now

[creepeil]

Im crying at how selfless you are. you're a good friend. I wish i had someone who cared about me that much :'(

[Asker]

there's always girls who will care about a guy a lot :) and there doesn't need to be any intimate feelings for each other. Making someone happy is such a fulfillment.

[been_waiting]

Just because a girl won't suck your dick doesn't mean she doesn't care about you. I love my guy friends to death but I'm not putting their dick anywhere

[creepeil]

If a girl isn't giving me a fuck, she doesn't give a fuck.

[been_waiting]

Desperate :/

[Anonymous]

I use to be depressed not anymore. I would have loved some head from a girl that was a friend. What you did was great having an orgasm feels great. You're a good friend

[Asker]

I hope i am a good enough friend.

[Opinion Owner]

Sometimes when you're depressed just having company or someone that will listen to you. Means so much it gives you hope for the future

[Asker]

I agree 100% i can't say I've been in that bad of state as him but know what its like to be depressed. Its terrible, that is why i did it in the first place.

[Opinion Owner]

That's good just make sure he knows that nothing is going to happen like a relationship just incase he gets his hopes up. As long as things are clear. Any depressed man will be happy to receive some head

[Asker]

haha XD yes he was really happy. he made me food right after. Well see what happens in the following days.

[Opinion Owner]

If you like him and want something more keep giving him head. I bet he was happy. I would have taken you to a restaurant. I'm not a good cook lol but same idea haha

[Asker]

Yes we talked causal right after. Things just were just feeling great right after. He took it well but again i had that feeling in the back of my mind. Looking at his face i thought "i shouldn't of done that"

[Opinion Owner]

no wrong can ever come from giving a guy head. It's always welcomed XD

[thisGUYknows]

YOU madam. Deserve friend of the year award. My hat's off to you.

[mrwunderful]

just tell him he's a good person and that he's a good friend and you did it to cheer him up its just oral its not a big thing and move on. That's my advice

[Asker]

I know i should move on but the feeling keeps coming back. I don't know what it is exactly i just feel horrible inside.

[mrwunderful]

so if you had a bad day and I did that for you and said it was because you were my friend and I cared about you as a friend but not to read into it you'd be okay with it or you have a deeper attachment? But he's a guy with a guy brain don't read into it. You're thinking like a girl don't read into it.

[Asker]

Yes i would read into it a lot. Id begin to think he likes me. And probably develop those intimate feelings :( thats why i feel terrible because i feel i did that to him. Im teasing his heart.

[mrwunderful]

I doubt he will... he might want another someday... sex buddies? LOL

[Asker]

noooooooouuuuu no sex buddies. We are FRIENDS not friends with benefits

[p0rtis26]

And now you are friends with benefits. I do not support this type of action, but that is just my opinion.

[WiiU89]

I don't either, women will never learn

[Asker]

We are not. I've never even made out with him. We dont have a history of any kind of sexual behavior. I was simply just wanted to remove that depression from him. You dont understand because you didn't see how he was :(

[p0rtis26]

I understand, my goal is not to condemn you. But as an alternative you could have done something not sexual. Taken him out to dinner, see if he wanted to talk about it, watch a football game with him?

[been_waiting]

@WiiU89 or women can do whatever they want if its consensual

[WiiU89]

They can what they want, that doesn't mean it's right

[WiiU89]

My point I was trying to make in my answer is that, female attention is not going to help his depression. It's only going to drive her insane and is not going to help him in the CORRECT way

[p0rtis26]

@WiiU89 valid point

[WiiU89]

My answer was one of the anonymous ones

[kheserthorpe]

I think he clearly enjoyed what you did.

The only potential issues are what happens -now-.

[Asker]

Now? you mean how he's gonna perceive me after the act? We've talked about it already, so i told him how i felt. He said not to worry because i made him feel like everything was going to be okay. I hope thats good.

[Anonymous]

What you did was motivated by kindness and you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about! There should be more people like you in the world, male and female.

[Asker]

Well thank you so much for your comment. Yes it was out of pure kindness and he knows it. I hate to see him so depressed to where there's no hope. You never know when one of your friends one day decides to leave this world so i try to make the best of every little moment.

[Opinion Owner]

I've been where he is myself before, and it was the kindness and love of others who got me through it. I really hope you won't feel bad about what you did for him.

[Asker]

im starting to feel less and less bad thanks. But i dont think I've seen the entire ripple effect of it all yet.

[Opinion Owner]

You may be right about that. He may wonder if you care about him in a different way than you do, and that's something you'll have to deal with if it happens. I hope it goes OK. Regardless, you should not feel any guilt of feel like a "slut" You don't deserve that!

[Asker]

Thank you so much. Ill keep talking to him so the depression goes away. He needs to eat and move because he's losing a lot of weight now.

[Arab_Cutie1033]

You're one giving friend :)

[Asker]

Yes i am id do anything for the ones i care about.

[Arab_Cutie1033]

there's nothing wrong with that.

[lexih2146]

wow you really love your friends dont you

[Asker]

Well i do care about him deeply. This is gonna sound weird but he's like the brother I've never had. I know what you're thinking (incest) but its nothing like that. Im just describing that we are that comfortable and open with each other.

[lexih2146]

that's a good thing. i'm glad you have a friend your so open with :)

[Asker]

With all the girl friends i have, its such a refreshing change to speak to a guy and relate to him. I like it a lot.

[Anonymous]

Don't worry about it. It's ok for friends to help friends out.

[WiiU89]

Guys wouldn't blow their guy friends, unless they were gay/bi, right?

[Opinion Owner]

We're talking about female and male friends. No one said anything about to male friends doing it only you.

[Anonymous]

Hey I'm going through some tough times too, can we be friends?

[Keyspirits]

LOL! What's with all these haterz
Im depressed and I needed one as well :/

[AidenBlue]

Well, that would cheer me up!!

[GoldCobra]

Well, did it make him happy?

[Anonymous]

God bless you

[Anonymous]

That's a good friend

[Asker]

thanks :/

[microcephalicguy]

i need friends like this for sure