Called my “partner” toxic and now I feel bad?

[Anonymous]

We aren’t dating. We both have different views of toxicity and relationships that still need to be ironed out before actually dating. We want to make this work. A coworker called him toxic and I relayed the message and he got upset I agreed. I suck at voicing my feelings this I didn’t explain why I agreed cause I’m way too nervous and scared to verbally say it. He’s a very open person. He likes sex and don’t have an issue sleeping with his female friends if they offered. Sex is whatever to him but it’s more personal to me. Since we’ve been talking however, he’s only slept with me. So I have it in my mind that he’s committed to me without the label. But that’s where I fucked up. To me, if two people like each other, they only have eyes for that person. They wouldn’t entertain anyone else. To him, he’s not in a relationship so if someone asked to fuck he can. I can’t fault his logic cause it’s not cheating. He’s explained his fear of being hurt before. He’s been hurt in a good majority of his relationships whereas I’ve only been with two other guys. He’s way more experienced than me. I called him toxic cause I still hold on to the fact he had asked how I would feel if he slept with a mutual friend. This was months ago and we resolved the issue finally. He said he needed time to adjust to being in a monogamous relationship cause he likes the freedom of being able to sleep around still even though he hasn’t done it with another person. I hyper focus on the fact that we act like a couple (long distance atm) and visit each other when we can but we aren’t official. He wants to wait until I move out there July to become official. We’ve been talking and sleeping together since last March. Maybe I’m just wanting to rush this relationship…. I think I’m the problem

[Labokachulaa]

Wow that's a lot. May I ask, could it be he's not committing to you because it's still a long distance thing? It sounds like, from what you stated, he's waiting until you move in July to become serious with you. Maybe he's still on the fence about dating you as he wants to be completely sure it won't be a long distance thing? Give him a chance, keep your options open too. Don't overthink this, just take it as it's going. It's completely normal for him to see it the way he does and it's also normal for you to feel the way that you do. However, we must remember that men and women think differently. Some men may agree with you, but I feel as if the majority would side with the perspective you have of this guy.

Please please please, don't overthink this situation. Just keep going along with it and keep your options open as I stated earlier, you may find something better that doesn't require you to relocate.

[Guy13]

Did you apologize for the misspeak?

[Asker]

I did

[Guy13]

You are more mature and deserve better than him if what is posted is accurate. If it moves and smiles then screw it guy worldview will never workout well for any of the parties he engages.