Help how do you live life alone with no family? Why my family is toxic?

[Sugar100]

Is it a blessing in disguise?

i have toxic family. Things got bad when I turned 23, parents got jealous I began to drive at age 23, jelaous I moved out to a studio, jealous I have a business. The times I offered mom life with me she would laugh say haha u don’t even make sales! I’m going to buy my house! 3 years pass she’s homeless never bought a house in life. She’s living in random rooms. All year repeats she’s going to Vegas to manipulate me. Now I’m 25 & I can’t even text her, she said I’ll see when your heat goes away, like a dog in heat. Wtf? Just cuz I have a boyfriend doesn’t mean I’m in heat. Each time I see her she’s telling friends oh I want a boyfriend I haven’t had sex in 13 years. Sounds to me she’s jealous. even tho my brother treats parents like shit she still defends him. My aunt is also a jelaous person since I was a baby. She talks shit of me like says im mentally ill. Or calls mom ugly. My family have hated me as when I was 22 I got sick. I was choking on food daily & when down to 70lbs. Due to no food I had drooling had spit out saliva from. no food in body. They talked shit of my anxiety. How sad to have horrible family but I’m at peace now in my studio home & with boyfriend in my life. Only with him I’m my real self live my real life together, I feel it’s blessing in disguise as this was all I wanted , start new life with a partner. But with sacralicé lose my family. 😥

[hahahmm]

You need to set clear boundaries and when people cross the line you there's a price they need to pay like: reduced contact, no contact, not getting stuff they want. These people need you more than you need them... even if you don't think so, they get off on getting info about your life to use for gossip. I'd cut the aunt out of my life 100%. With mom I'd tell her each time she says some azzhole thing it makes me want to spend less time with her and THEN if she does an azzhole thing I would reduce contact by a lot. The worse the thing is the longer I'd go no contact. Most people learn how to act better when faced with boundaries but if they don't it doesn't matter because you deal with them so little it's not affecting your life.

Read my mytake on con artist if you haven't already. I bet your family has some con artists in it too.

[Sugar100]

My parents don’t change even after staying distant & instead continue calling me a bad child

[hahahmm]

Then you limit contact more until it's not an issue. Either because they stop or you don't talk at all. I'm only saying this because based on things you've said in this post & the past it sounds like you did nothing wrong. If you were an azzhole to your parents or they were giving you good advice I'd have a different opinion.

[Sugar100]

Y they keep calling me bad child? They think I’m bad child cuz I’m not living with mom they are jelaous I have 3 jobs and business. But the past years mom would tell me shut up each time I talked to her of moving.

[Sugar100]

The day before I first moved out at age 23 in 2020 August I wanted her life with me but she laughed said I don’t even make sales from my business and she’ll buy her home stay living at friends house. I moved and made a lot of business sales while she never bought her home fast foward 2-3 years later

[Sugar100]

At one point I fought parents daily as they were jealous I drove had a car I began driving late at age 23. And parents would say I think I’m all that cuz I drive. Wtf? Everyone needs drive to go to work to buy food

[Sugar100]

They think I’m bad child cuz they want me broke no jobs no business no car just living with mom
Forever til age 60 no boyfriend no babies no life. That’s only way they will be proud of me

[hahahmm]

Think I mentioned this once.. you have to act like an adult & they will be less likely to treat you like a child. By acting like an adult I don't mean running a business, living on your own... I mean when they tell you what they think, you honestly cannot act like it stresses you or like you care what they think. In an ideal world, sure, the parents & child are on the same page for goals but that usually doesn't happen. You have to be more focused on knowing you're on the right path than worrying about what they say, otherwise it makes people think you need or are open to suggestions. You also have to make it clear you're not going to discuss certain topics & stick to that. Just my 2 cents.

[Sugar100]

U think it’s true I’m a bad child cuz I have 3 jobs business my own home my own future plans as I’m an adult now? wtf is wrong with them? I thought bad child was someone doing drugs or something. The reason y I’m worrying so much is cuz each time I visit them they bring up these topics n stress!

[Sugar100]

Tell me am I a bad child?

[Sugar100]

They even have gotten mad cuz I plan have savings. They don’t want me to have savings as they have zero savings. They aren’t proud of me cuz I want to save money

[hahahmm]

No, you're not a "bad child" but you are telling them all of your business. If you stop telling them everything they don't have ammo to use against you. Read my mytake on Trust if you haven't... You trust your family members too much, I think.

[Staximus]

Cut toxic people who don't treat you right out of your life. You still have friends

[Sugar100]

Why u think my family act this way with me? Do u think it’s a blessing in disguise? My dream was always start new life with boyfriend and no longer be in my families life

[Staximus]

Just stop answering their calls. When they ask you why, tell them to call you when they think you are worth treating right. You don't have to accept their shitty treatment just because they are family.

[Sugar100]

But what reason do u think my family treat me like this? Does your aunt call u mentally ill? Since I was a baby my aunt never loved me she was jelaous like. Mean highscool girl.

[Sugar100]

My family don’t change even if I spend 5 years not talking they won’t change instead parents will say I’m a bad child think I’m all that as I cutt them out of my life5 years. They think they r gods never make mistakes they Aren’t humble or feel sorry never.

[Sugar100]

Also u didn’t answer do u think it’s a blessing in disguise?

[Staximus]

It's not a blessing, it's sad that they are too stupid and inconsiderate to realize they are bad to you. Why do they do it? Because they are unconscious miserable idiots who can't let people be happy because they are not happy. Just go live your life and keep making yourself happy. Keep doing good things for yourself and don't let them drag you down.

[Sugar100]

But y eveyone has loving family & not me? I don’t understand as I’m
Not rich it’s not like I’m living in a mansion for them to be jelaous. Even celebs have loving family no misery no jealousy. I don’t get it

[Sugar100]

I do think it’s a blessing cuz all these years my dream was start new life with boyfriend/partner and no longer be with my family and I feel it finally happening little by little now this moment

[Staximus]

Everyone is not bblessed with a good family. Life is not fair sometimes. What country do you live in?

[Sugar100]

California

[Cright941]

Many of us are raised to have a familial obligation. Family is supposed to be the highest rung of the relationship ladder. The truth is you are not alone. There are many people dealing with a toxic family. You had no choice with the family you were born into. Sometimes, for your own happiness and mental health, you have to purge people from your life. It doesn't mean you don't love them, it only means that in order for you to be happy and free, you can not associate with them. It sounds like you have found a relationship with your boyfriend that you would like to explore, I would say be careful for warning signs of toxicity in any relationship you choose to entertain. Sometimes when a person is in an abusive household, they come to accept that treatment as normal. Hope my opinion helped.

[Sugar100]

Yea but boyfriend isn’t toxic in fact he’s only loving perosn that understands my life and my fmaily aren’t loving or understand my life…

[Cright941]

I wasn't saying he was. I actually was saying it sounds like you have a relationship you would like to explore.

[Cright941]

Disregard anything I have said if you think it is criticism, just offering help

[Sugar100]

Wdym explore?

[Bklynbadboy12]

Just sever ties and move on