Why am I still nervous when talking to my boyfriend!

[Anonymous]

I think it's weird...been together like a year && some months now!...urgh!...

[hisangel]

There are so many reasons you could be nervous.

You could feel that the relationship isn't committed enough so you are afraid that if he finds out something he doesn't like, he might leave you. You could be nervous you don't feel like you have too much to offer a person so you freak out that he might see that one day and leave. You could be nervous cause you've never been good at talking to people and now you talk to him cause you care for him, but still it's a new experience. You could be nervous cause you had a boyfriend (or parent, or sibling, or whoever) that always jumped to the wrong conclusion in conversations and everything ended in a fight. So any intimate conversation freaks you out. Intimate relationships can make you nervous period so when you are talking, building that intimacy makes you uncomfortable. He may have said things at the beginning of the relationship that hurt you and now you are afraid it will happen again. You could be nervous cause you told him intimate things and he didn't respond like you wish he would so it hurt you.

There could be a million reasons. Cause there isn't too much background in the question its hard to figure out where the butterflies might be coming from. But I'm sure it happens to a lot of people because talking with someone in a relationship builds intimacy and bonds the two of you. If you have any problem with that it can make the whole experience trying.

[finecute]

Wow Great answer girl. I completely agree!!

[hgsnkisses]

your not alone.. I have the saaame problem. especially when I'm around him when he's with his friends, I hardly talk...ITS AWKWARD. I find that it helped to have one of my friends with me who I'm comfortable with when I'm with him, just for a little bit, that way I feel comfortable talking. I definitely wouldn't plan to keep her the whole time thought because then you two don't get any alone time. that can suck. it helps to spend more time with him too..

you said you've been with him for a year, but have you seen him almost every day/weekend for that year? if you HAVE spent a lot of time with him, then the reasons that hisangel gave seem very accurate.

if your situation is like mine, I only got to see him once or twice a month last year, and we talked mostly over AIM in between, it was EXTREMELY awkward last year for us to talk. this year, we see each other once a week, and talk over texting during the week (he's at a boarding school which prohibits cell phone use, and can't call me that often), it's not as awkward, but I can sympathize, I get nervous too!

so if you share the same situation as mine, I advise you to just tell yourself that you ARE confident, bring a friend with you, and also, just spend more time with him!

[Asker]

Well...we live far apart....i mostly see him when we have breaks...like christmas . easter....yh stuff like that....mostly talk to him on msgnr but even then I'm still nervous

[hgsnkisses]

Yeah I talk to him on text and it can make me nervous, I don't always know weather I'll be able to keep up a topic that will interest him, or keep a conversation going. but just remember, if he's been with you for that long, he clearly doesn't mind or even notice your nervousness/shyness! when you can't see the person, you don't know weather theyr enjoying the conversation or not, which could be what makes you so nervous!

[authentic]

Are you nervous about how your boyfriend views you? i.e. are you always looking at yourself through your boyfriend's eyes? Is that a habit, i.e. you look at yourself through other people's eyes? If yes, don't, that is the fastest way to kill whatever happiness you have.