Should you be friends first?

[GiJoe]

If you really like the guy or girl isn't it better to be friends first before dating them.

[bluelife]

Well, I just think it depends on the two people at hand. If it starts off as a friendship, only time will determine how strong a friendship grows or if it weakens. Starting off as a friend will give both people the opportunity to get to know each other and possibly develop into a relationship. Sometimes people hit it off after a month. Or others may decide to remain friends and not cross that boundary until after "best friends" have been established. I can't put a timeline on "becoming friends". I would just suggest to start off as friends and let nature take its course. Once you have been friends I think it would be a great relationship!

[talula21]

Usually, for me, the initial personality attraction (or whatever draws me to them first) make me think "date date date" not "friend friend friend". Basically there's no way I'm going to see that guy as a friend. I like to get to know a guy before going all in though. Usually I meet someone, find some way to contact (usually facebook/msn/whatever) and talk to them for a week or two. It's kind of. Testing the waters. If I don't connect with him just through conversation, I don't let it go farther. So I guess it's like being friends first, as a check to see if you get along/are compatible, but it's not as platonic as that.

[bluelife]

In my opinion, it is better to be friends with the guy/girl before dating. In that manner they will know each other, understand each other, respect, and trust each other. Long lasting relationships are developed through great friendships.

[GiJoe]

Friends for a month or so ok or do you mean become a best friend than ask her out.

[gravygirl]

It can work either way. I think a lot of people will tell you that it'll make her less likely to date you. This might be true, but I've had easier and better relationships with guys that I've been friends with first.

[GiJoe]

A lot of people have been saying that the relationships end up better. Is it because as a friend you really don't need to worry about impressing her your more yourself?

[gravygirl]

Yeah, that's probably some of it. I think knowing what you are getting into is a big help. If you're friends there shouldn't be too many unpleasant surprises.

[tegdim]

Depends how deep you mean by friends, from the start when you talked to her you two already somewhat friends, you don't call you two a stranger once you know their name etc. If you scared of going to deep in friends then drop some hints after you know the girl and see how she react if bad then carry on the friendship path.

[Avalace]

Being friends first goes down a tricky path. Normally the relationship is easier and more stable but the break up can be uglier. You also might fall into that big zone of friendship that is hard to get out of.

[Shiner4]

Flirty friends yea. It might work, but sometimes being friends first makes it harder and awkward in the end.