Is it always a good idea to be friends first?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been chatting with my guy friend since last year, I’ve hangout with him couple of times we both seem interested in each other both would like get too know each other more we both feel a connection when we talk.

[btbc92]

Yes. That's how it's supposed to start anyway. Because you need to know whether or not you're compatible. Hobbies and common interest is not what makes a relationship or marriage. You got to think of it like a feeling or the very top layer of the cake. But the foundation has to be there. Without a foundation then there's nothing to build on or stand on.

You need to know whether or not is he sexually active. He need to know if he is how many he been with. You need to know if he got tested. Needed to know what he wants to do with his life. You need to know where he sees himself going eventually. You need to know whether or not if he's stable in all parts of his life. You need to know what kind of family background he comes from. What kind of friends he had, the kind of friends he presently have now. Whether or not he wants to get married or have kids. So you got a lot you got to figure out. You don't want to wait until you're dating and then you want to break up with a person that you could just weeded out a long time ago.

Remember, you got to be objective about this. You don't want to get caught up with the emotions in the hide and then you get to mostly invested then if you end up in a situation where it becomes talk but you won't be able to get out of it cuz you're too invested. To guard your heart, to guard your mind, to protect your emotions, and to be able to fully give all of you to that one person you truly want to be with, start off at friends first. Continue to build and cultivate that friendship. That will determine whether or not if you truly love each other.

[btbc92]

Please think wisely on this. Because if you don't take this seriously, the last thing you don't want to be in is to be in a situationship. Where your supposedly friends but you are nowhere close to dating either. It's a really bad place to be in.

There is no such thing as a friend zone. And the friend zone is not the problem. The situationship is.

[Asker]

That’s true, thank you for your opinion I appreciate it just I’m in Melbourne lockdown, I just started to be interested in him he also is. So I’m hoping after lockdown I can hang out with him more.

[btbc92]

So you should express how you feel and what you want to do. The worst thing that he can do is say no to a friendship then you already know he doesn't want to move forward. If you look up Wikipedia and actually examine all the qualities of what a friendship is. That's a long list. If you don't learn how to build all of that in a friendship and William going to have all of that when your dad? What's going to happen when you get married? If you're missing out on all those things and all you just doing is having sex in fooling around then you want to know why you feel unfulfilled in your relationship. People should be waiting for sex anyway but a lot of people don't. You better make sure that you're going in this for the right reasons what is another reason why you are better off as just being friends until you start seeing what you need to see.

[btbc92]

Then what are you really going to have when you end up dating?*

[btbc92]

You got to remember also that a lot of men do not share the same mindset that you and I do. So you need to make sure you are on the same page and that he equally wants the same. Because if you don't want the same then what's the point of being interested in a person who is not for you? That's another reason why you got to be extremely careful who you decide to crush and take interest in.

[Asker]

Thanks for that acknowledge. He told me he wants to get too know me first as friends also over text

[btbc92]

Then you have nothing else to worry about. That is now between you and him. No other advice needed.

[natured]

It depends, me and my current partner we where Friendsemies, we hated each others guts lol... but we somehow fell in love during a fight and after that we just kissed and here we are after 7 years being still in a stable relationship ( with ups and downs but who doesn't have those lol) ...
I think it doesn't matter how you meet, if you where friends first, enemies or strangers... when the spark comes it's there and you can feel it LOL

[Asker]

I been talking to him for over a year now we both feel a spark ⚡️ he said if I want be with him to see him what does he mean by that

[natured]

if I want be with him to see him = I don't seem to quiet get this part... i mean does he want to see you as in SEEING and then moving into the official relationship? That's how I get it he wants to start something there it's clear

[Asker]

Yes, I think that what it must mean seeing him more as friends than propably getting into a offical
Relationship to than I get a chance to see if his still a good guy when we hangout as friends more the other two times he seemed decent hasn’t asked me for sex hasn’t asked me for nudes. I meet him in April Than saw him again last month I be seeing him again soon. I want take things slow with him.

[t-8900]

no, no, and hell no. It's been proven many times the best thing you can do is see them only as a romance option or a friend, usually not both. People mix up acquaintances with friends so often these days. I usually dont decide if I want to commit to someone until the 4th or 5th date after i've had them sent through the filters to see if there's going to be any long term ramifications first. I dont consider this friendship as I make the intentions known up front that I see them or want to see them only in a romantic way. The amount of time I spend on her as a friend is time I could spend cultivating something with someone else and life is too short with a busy work life.

[CharlieDuos]

You should be friends forever , not just driven by sexual attraction, so being friends is important, but don't get stuck in friend zone too long if you both want more

[Mr_Potatoman]

If you asked me that at the beginning of this year I would have said "Yes" but I am currently in a relationship in which I am extremely happy and we get along very well. That relationship started quite quickly. We texted for few weeks, it was very fun and flirtatious. Then we went out together. Whithin about seven days from our first date we were already on our third date and then we decided to be officially boyfriend and girlfriend. Those dates were amazing and long lasting (surprisingly long lasting).
First date started at 5 pm and ended 1 am, second one from 6 pm to about 3-4 am. Third one even longer.
So now thinking about that I think you don't necessarily have to be friends first.

[ohshee]

For me I mean that's the only way that I can do it you have to have that initial Bond or. At least I do. When I get into a relationship I get into it. But I get into it because of the Bond that I have and the intensity that it brings in that I feel from it and that I feel from her at the same time when I can find that person we're usually friends first

[Youryeodongsaeng]

Yes. You need to get to know them better. I believe once you're friends and gotten to know each other, trust can form.
Just wait to see if you actually like that person or not or if the other party feels the same or not.

[Asker]

That’s true, me and him have hung out twice now I’m in Melbourne lockdown so after lockdown I’m hoping to see him after lockdown more as friends, we both texted each other we interested both want to get too know each other more we both wrote we feel a spark ⚡️. I just want take things slow. :)

[FilmGuy93]

It's a good idea, but I think people change so much when romance gets involved that the way somebody acts as your friend isn't necessarily indicative of the kind of romantic relationship you will have with them. Being friends first is a good idea, just don't have any preconceived ideas.

[PrettyPriya]

Nothing wrong with getting to know each other more. By the sounds of it you are more than friends already if you have a connection.

[Asker]

What kind of relationship?

[PrettyPriya]

Well, my interpretation of connection may be different but it means you have feelings for someone.

More than just “hey friend”.

[backblueblack22]

In an ideal world this would be the way to go. However in my experience when women say “friends first” they really mean “friéndzone forever”. The only exception is when they see their guy friend getting romantic attention from someone else. Funny how jealousy motivates women.

[Interstate]

You should ALWAYS start off being friends first. For at least a minimum of two years. Then after that, have a more serious conversation about advancing, if the two of you feel you are ready and still find romantic interest in each other.

[Asker]

Some people be friends first for a month or two everybody is different. I been talking to him since last year so he isn’t somebody I just meet.

[Interstate]

I was only stating that those are the general rules of thumb that are strongly advised from the experts.

[GoldenAxer]

I like flirty friends. My wife and I were flirty friends for over a year. There is a different dynamic than just friends without being flirty. We touched each other a lot and kissed and danced and she kissed me before we went out.

[Asker]

Oh true how often should I text him?

[GoldenAxer]

I have no idea. I've never been much of a texter except for arranging when to hang out.

[Asker]

Yeah his about 26 turning 27 I’m 20.. so I want be careful I heard his a good one and a good friend.

[Asker]

I’ve no idea 🤷‍♀️ either.

[GoldenAxer]

I like flirty. Need chemistry. Friends establish connections, but too much connection with too little chemistry built up and it tends to drift off.

[Asker]

Me and him smile look at each other in the smiles when we last hung out he goes what’s with that cheeky smile

[GoldenAxer]

You can do something back. Chemistry has tension.

[Asker]

What could I do back?

[GoldenAxer]

That's way complicated for me. I just like to touch people a lot that I like. I wasn't very smooth verbally. I never bothered with pick-up lines because I lack smoothness. But I can escalate! If girl starts playing with my foot then I can reach and grab her leg, and if she's okay with that I can work up her thigh, and if she's still okay with that and playing back with me I can reach up her skirt. That's kind of how I played around. It's mostly non-verbal.

[Asker]

I recently got interested in him.. I’m in Melbourne lockdown we both texted each other we want to get too know each other as friends first

[GoldenAxer]

I like sort of establishing chemistry ASAP although that might be hard to do over text. But I think it helps to have some chemistry established upfront. Sometimes I think it's binary. Like chemistry established pretty soon or never at all.

[InferiorElegy]

Every female who has ever said to me that she wants to be friends first, has always ended up dating the first hot guy that comes around. A lot of times it depends on your looks because that's what gets you in the front door.

[FunkyMonkee]

No, you should just grab a girl you see on the street, rip her clothes off and start fucking her right there.

[Assi2k]

Lol you have one dark humour there bud

[FunkyMonkee]

@Assi2k Thank you! Just trying to show the absurdity of the question. Either that or I'm having my period.

[Asker]

I’m into guys..

[FunkyMonkee]

I'm into girls so, I just went that route. I didn't think about tailoring it to you until after I hit the SUBMIT button. GAG should allow those posting things to change or correct after they're posted!!

[Scarecrow13]

Absolutely. I never got this idea that you can't date your friends. Why not? You already know you get along at a certain level, which is better than someone you just met.

[Asker]

Waiting to get too know him more he told me if I want be with him to see him does that mean his after a relationship? I saw him in April Than once in August now planning see him again shortly Does that mean me and him are close to dating?

[VTecumseh]

It's a good idea to know who he is first.

Blind dates are an oxymoron.

[daisy191]

Yes don’t see why not it might even build a stronger bond

[Subarugirl]

Here is my advice, don't date someone you wouldn't be friends with.

[jimmy2]

Yes because once people's comment then friendship becomes best friends

[Browneye57]

No, you should be enemies first. Dear god this is dumbfounding.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the situation honestly. Every relationship is different.

[Twalli]

I like it, because you already passed the shared interests phase.

[Jake99999]

Sure, it can be a fine way to get started.

[Anonymous]

Yes because it is the best way to get to know someone

[ChrisMaster69]

I pretty much have to be friends first.

[Assi2k]

Always. Every time with everyone!

[Anonymous]

No first be there spouse, then boyfriend/girlfriend then afterwards you can be friends.

[Julious0202]

be careful not to be friends forever lol

[genericname85]

i don't see how that could be bad honestly.

[Joker_]

Yeah

[888theGreat]

Yep , best way

[DudeFromZ]

Yes yes and yes

[Anonymous]

Yes its good