Must I necessarily be friends first with someone I like and would like to be in a relationship with?

[Anonymous]

Must I necessarily be friends first with someone I like and would like to be in a relationship with? Or is it okay to go into a relationship with them and see if it works out or not?

[Lliam]

I favor the latter.

You go on a date to get to know someone. You have fun. What have you got to lose?

If the date goes well, you make another one. If you start to get to know each other, like each other, and get along real well, you might become infatuated and decide to date each other exclusively. At that point, you are boyfriend and girlfriend.

You continue the relationship until you begin to learn each other's personality, physicality, sexuality, behaviors, quirks, flaws, moods, attitudes, habits, values, hopes and dreams. If you can live with those, and you begin to trust each other completely, you have a match.

If you decide that your partner isn't the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you part amicably. Wash, rinse and repeat until you find your match.

That's how you find your life partner. Not by dallying around.

In the process, you have a LOT of fun, learn about people, gain experience, and become more and more mature. It's like anything in life. You have to practice and make mistakes before you become proficient.

[Asker]

I totally agree with you. Thanks!

[Lliam]

You're welcome, sir.

[virginloserguy]

No, but you can make it clear you want to see her qualities as a friend before you enter a romantic relationship. Just tell her you to enjoy a platonic relationship for a month, and then it is official. It is better not to be friends, so she understands your intentions. Be upfront.

Do not do any of those hot and cold bait a d switch dating coach stuff you see on YouTube or online. Those guys pay escorts and try to get people to pay for their dating advice.

Just keep it straight to the point. Do not talk passively. Be straight to the point.

[Asker]

Thank you. I actually don’t have any intention of being friends first. But I hear that advice sometimes and just wanted to know if there was a logic behind it that might make me consider it. To me, I don’t think it’s necessary. I take it to be a waste of time when I know what I already want.

[virginloserguy]

Yes, never tell her you are friends. It is a mistake a lot of guys make. You want to be straight to the point and show her you are not here to waste time. You have to show her you are interested.

[watercolor_lions]

It works out better if you try being friends first.

There was a guy I considered dating, because we both really liked each other. But we decided not to for personal reasons. After a few months, I learned dating would have been a bad idea. I felt like a caged bird around him, if I was around him for too long. I was able to keep him as a best friend because we didn't taint it with a relationship.

Starting out as friends saves a lot of mess and can be just as effective as dating to figure out if things would work out or not (sometimes). Sometimes people change in a relationship... But generally, being friends first can tell you a lot about a person.

[Bethany22]

It's better to go on dates whereby you get to show her how chivalrous you are, rather than just hanging out as equals in the beginning

[Lliam]

🎯🎯🎯 Be the man. The lady-gentleman thing.

[Asker]

I agree!

[Jamie05rhs]

I kind of agree with Bethany. Although I still think that you should be equals. But being just friends takes out the "spark" that can be conducive to romance. It neuters the entire relationship dynamic and makes it dull and boring.

[BlueScorpio]

That's why you ask them on a date to let them know you are romantically interested and not platonic.

[OpenClose]

Naw it just makes things way easier for the two of you, since you can pre-assess each other a bit beforehand.

It especially help because in my opinion, girls basically seem totally apathetic to men unless they know them.

[FilmGuy93]

In my opinion, that friendship stage is necessary, yes. Humans are beautiful, complicated, contradictory, messy creatures. Taking time to understand someone on a deeper level helps you to appreciate that nuance better, if nothing else.

[Jamie05rhs]

@FlimGuy93 That's interesting that you call friendship a "deeper level.". I have always considered an actual relationship to be a much deeper level than a friendship.

[FilmGuy93]

@Jamie05rhs the deeper level is the length of the exposure you have to the person. A friendship and a relationship are simply different things; I don’t think one is necessarily deeper than the other

[Jamie05rhs]

@FilmGuy93 There is this one dude that I have known for almost literally all of my life. (We've been friends since I was 6 and he was 4.). But, admittedly, our relationship isn't very deep at all.
So I don't think time can really be an accurate measuring stick.

[Jamie05rhs]

Same with girls, by the way. There's a girl I've been friends with since I was 7 or 8. But our relationship isn't very deep, either.

[dustybiker]

Friendship or passion are common foundations. One will burn out if you let it.

[Asker]

Sometimes a friendship might already have been established and they may not want to “ruin it”. It’s often easier to form a friendship with a romantic partner than it is to form a romantic relationship with a friend.

[Jltakk]

I'd MUCH rather start as friends. I know who I am dealing with, and there will be surprises along the way, but I know much more than a complete stranger that tbh, it would just be too awkward to deal with.

[Anonymous]

If you want it be worth anything yeah. But look at this site 90% of the women don't even like thier partners.🤣 So yeah it's definitely possible

[Jamie05rhs]

No. Don't friendzone yourself.

[Pot8o]

It's fine to try a relationship

[TheSpaceGnome]

Friends first if you want it to work out.

[Anonymous]

Just go for it.

[In_Trance]

Nope