What is so hard about making friends as an adult?

Question

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

Because as a legal adult you actually have priorities that aren't the responsibility of other people. Therefore as the old saying goes, you were born by yourself and you will die by yourself. So naturally, of course, it will be difficult to make friends. When we're younger we aren't caring about 'adulthood'. That is why we always have that fear of growing up because we literally do change whether we like it or not. But it's a good change. How we handle it is what either makes us mature or immature.

Everybody is very busy. Some are in school finishing their education, others like some of my friends have gotten married or are getting married, already dating, few already have kids, either within marriage or out of wedlock, etc. Career and family are also demanding, or they're travelling the world. At the same time, people have their own beliefs that we normally wouldn't discuss as children, thus it shuns you from the rest of the community or world. My cousins who were like my best friends, some of them even took me off of social media, or never invited me. Why? Because they are believing in contrary beliefs to mine. And even though I never disrespected them in any way, they just don't want anything to do with me. So such is life. Plus, a lot of people aren't concerned about you. That is why you have to.

Kitten967 · Accepted Answer

I'm guessing because by the time you're an adult you already have an established friends group/circle.

BeeNee · Answer

Let me count the ways...(or excuses given)

1. They are too busy (only true for about 8%)
2. They are married (which apparently means they cannot be friends with anyone who is single or not in their married social group)
3. They have kids (and their kids friends parents are their friends now)
4. They have a bf/gf (I said be friends, not I want to sleep with you.. and ego much, aren't they presumptuous, geezus)
5. They live too far (kind of a problem when you want to go grab a quick bite to eat and have to drive an hour to do so)
6. They are lazy (they don't want to make the effort even though they really want a friend too).

HitGirl_4680 · Answer

Absolutely, everyone's already made their circle by now and they aren't very inclined to let new people in very easily.

They also find it weird, strange, that at an older age you don't have friends, they don't understand it! And they don't want to.

People are very clicky depending where you live too. And what sex you are too, being a girl I find it extremely hard as girls are quite bitchy, think your competition etc.

I'd love to have a best friend, group of friends but alas it's so hard at this age to find that, unlike it was when at school and in younger years. It's sad.

Quintessence · Answer

I think it's because, in adulthood, when faced with the prospect of making a friend, people don't think "it'd be great to have a new friend" or "that person looks interesting", but more along the lines of "what could be the benefit of an association with this person?"
Also, as mentioned: social circles are mostly fleshed out at this point; people are too busy to go out and make friends or properly develop an acquaintance-ship into a friendship; the goal of advancing an opposite sex acquaintance-ship into something closer is usually fueled by romantic interest--meaning they either become lovers or nothing.
So, yeah. Basically, people just don't have friendship on their brains when they go out to meet new people. Or they just don't go out to meet new people.

MimiHashima · Answer

This can be difficult at times... To get a friend, you have to be a friend yourself.. this also can also involve being more than just a good influence on or for them, being there for em, but it does take time too. It's a bit to sometimes find friends around my age group because it's like they already have their own circle. I just try to talk and reach out to whomever if possible. You may not see it at first, but also, you never know whom may appreciate it too.. maybe they were feeling sort of the same way. You never know who'll you'll meet nowadays lol.

jenew87 · Answer

Mainly as we get older life gets more busy with careers and family. The main thing is people don't meet the same way anymore it's all on phones, the internet and in real life if someone tries to talk to someone else it's awkward.

bella1617 · Answer

You know, if your open mind, what ever attitude or personality of people that you wanna friend you'll understand it.. increase your gratitude for any relationship then you'll receive abundance of happiness and good things in friendship

katthewolf · Answer

I do find it to be harder.
I work on a farm where backpackers frequently chop and change, and there are a couple of locals that work there as well. I find that the backpackers (more around my age) are easier to interact with and relate to, while the others (double my age) are a bit harder to connect with.

HOAAH · Answer

I think it is because adults have had so many let downs and people using them and abusing them that they are very wary of WHY they should like you, what is in it for you that you are trying to be their friend? They have been more hurt than little kids, little kids think everyone is nice and loving and that it makes it easy for them to love you back.

Keenisha · Answer

I feel the same, I thought only girls experienced that. Well i think most adults already have their own friends so they don't care to make new ones. Find people like yourself who are also looking to make friends, examples include people new to the city/area, someone who's recently single and someone who use to be very shy or a loner

pingiluv · Answer

I've learned it's not hard but everyone I have met have wanted to have sex as well, at least with my "friends" that I have encountered

Aalila · Answer

Because as a kid we weren't so judgy by appearances we were innocent and could make friends easy but as we grow up we have learned from life and we always judge one another on looks status who you know what you do and so on

raspberry0416 · Answer

Most people I meet, I know I won't be able to get close to. It's actually hard to find a close friend at any age. And when you're older you have less interest in superficial friendships, like the friends you have just for posting photos on facebook.

Sha84 · Answer

i have make friends easier since adult, especially guys

momo770 · Answer

Because it's so much more difficult with work and college and other commitments. I hear you completely.

azzntittiz · Answer

Because you have a harder time swinging on the monkey bar, and the kids think you're weird because you hang out at the neighborhood park, even though you put your hair in ponytails.
Go find someone grown to have sex with and make little people.

jumpingbeans · Answer

judgementals

Nikka3x3 · Answer

for me, its hard to make friends as a teen

Triggering · Answer

Food is your friend

What is so hard about making friends as an adult?

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