What’s your opinion on “stay at home dad/husband” and “breadwinner mom/wife” families?

Question

I personally don’t see anything wrong them but I prefer to be the breadwinner of the family. The only way I could be a stay at home dad is if I have a disability and my wife is willing to take on the role of the “breadwinner”.

Jon_25 · Accepted Answer

No there is nothing WRONG with this type of family, and it can work perfectly fine if both partners want it that way, but it isn't quite natural.
Now, I am not saying that the wife shouldn't have a job to provide additional income or that the man shouldn't be spending time with his kids. I'm just saying that, as far as roles of the family go, it is easier and works better for the man to be the breadwinner and the girl to be the stay at home mom. Men tend to get bored if they don't work, and while there definitely won't be time for boredom when raising children, a man is more inclined feel like he should be doing more or is not fulfilling his purpose. A girl can feel this way as well, obviously, but in the large majority girls, especially mothers, not only prefer to, but are better suited at both holding down the house and caring for children in a stay at home way. This is never meaning that she is inferior. Both the breadwinner and the stay at home mother have very important roles in the family, and most fathers of grown children will tell you that it was his wife that raised the kids as well as she did, and he could never have done it. Working full time to appease your family's financial needs puts a lot of stress on the breadwinner that just isn't as hard to take as a man who has been raised to take on this role throughout his life, and raising children full time puts a lot of a different kind of stress on the mother that is just easier for her to take because of what she is, and how she was made. Both roles serve an important purpose, and I believe that keeping the man as the breadwinner and the girl as the stay at home mother just simply works better in a family.

Amonimous · Accepted Answer

While I don't think there is anything wrong with reversing traditional gender roles, I do think it is important to understand that there are reasons they exist, and also that there are cultural implications that exist outside of the family structure.
For example, a stay-at-home dad might feel emasculated being supported by his partner, and would almost certainly be on the receiving end of jokes from friends and family.
On the other hand, modern society has only very supportive views about women in either role.
A decision like this would have to be made with consideration for earning potential of each partner, the disposition toward housework and childcare of each, and level of trust and dependancy tolerance in the relationship.
My dad tried working at home making only supplemental income for a few years when us kids were young, and it definitely created some issues for my parents.

Rainie_ · Accepted Answer

That’s what my parents situation is. My mum has always been the breadwinner, though my dad used to work tough jobs at first he eventually had to drop it because he hurt his back and couldn’t do same jobs anymore so he became a house dad instead which was fine because he loves cooking and working in the garden, and I was very sick at the time while in school so he took care of me.

Personally I think people should just do whatever works best for them in their family. If female bread winner and house dad or vice versa works for them then good for them, and if switching around the responsibilities work for them then good for them too. You should work with everyone’s personal strengths and weaknesses. There is no specific roles that works best for everyone.

cottoncandyandy · Accepted Answer

I believe that someone should stay at home to care for the home and the kids. I'm a strong believer that this situation is best for the overall success of a family AND marriage. People always forget about the marriage aspect in this.. 😒 In today's day and age it's a lot to ask a specific gender to stay home. Men being the househusbands is the next best thing and is still better than both parents working. I do think that women should be the ones to stay home especially in the first year of a baby. I've read about husbands staying home during this year and I just wonder how the baby is being fed if the mom is the breadwinner during this time?

ragequeen · Answer

I`m actually for it, I`ve always wanted to work but if I ever have kids I want them to have a parent at home. That kind of relationship is ideal for me.

Purplehigh86 · Answer

I know three families like that. Where the woman works and the guy takes care of the kids. I don't think it was intentional. The women's careers were just more successful and so when they had children it just seemed natural. I wouldn't be want to do it but I can see how it's beneficial for them. I work in the non-profit/ social work field tho so I'll never make enough to be the primary breadwinner.

englisc · Answer

For the first few years I don't think it's a good idea, mainly because I think that babies should be breast-fed. Some people say that she could pump milk but the milk supply, thickness, antibodies in the milk from the Mother to fight off bugs etc. all respond to the baby in a way that they don't respond to a plastic pump, so that usually means lower quality milk and not enough milk. It's not a realistic option most of the time if you understand how it works.

Later on though I can't see it being a bad thing. In the younger years children need their Mothers more, but as they get older they need their Fathers to be more involved. And if the Mother can afford to provide for the family then it's no problem.

Average_but_not_Joe · Answer

I was raised to believe that a man always has to be working and providing for the family. The money he makes belongs to the family.

I was also taught that this doesn't say anything about the women in the family. They can work, but any money they make ultimately only belongs to themselves. They don't have to put it towards the family unless they want to, since it's the man's job to work for the family.

So I guess in this case, I believe in Stay at Home Dads as long as they're also trying to make a living (there are work at home jobs), and I see nothing wrong with the Mom in the family working and supporting the family (if it's her choice to do that with her money) as long as the Dad is at least contributing something to it.

seekingadvice90 · Answer

To each their own. I don't care what others do and don't look down on men who choose to be house-husbands. As far as being in that type of relationship; as long as he actually performs the duties of a house-husband (cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids), and as long as I can support us both, I wouldn't mind being in one.

Stellastarling · Answer

Honestly I would prefer if we both worked. But if there was a situation where this would happen in the future well then it won't happen 😅 that's the whole point. But I can very honestly say that I will definitely be working. I cannot be a stay at home mother. Although very noble and extremely sacrifical I don't want that in my life. My significant other may or may not wish to do that, it doesn't matter. Although I would prefer if he/she worked as well.

Jesseabedeen · Answer

Um... I guess though I would prefer if it was more equal. With the mum and dad both working and sharing the child care and housework and all that. I would prefer that the father and mother work no later than 6pm. So they can both come home and take care of things. For example if mother does housework on Monday, Father takes care of child on Monday. Then the next day swap over.

MsMusic · Answer

This is my family. It used to be traditional, but my dad became disabled in 2010 and my mom had to start working.

Still like this now, and we have all of our needs met so I'm happy :D

personally I want to work and have a working husband.

ryanrhino · Answer

A good friend of mine is the stay at home dad after being the breadwinner in a job that burnt him out. I didn't vote for any option above, as I think 'I see nothing wrong with them' should have been a choice.

Fitness-Fanatic · Answer

I wouldn't mind being the breadwinner, and my SO being a stay at home dad. If he didn't want to, I'd take maternity leave , but then I'd go back to work. I wouldn't give up my career all together after having kids.

karahiri · Answer

it depends on the couple. it might work really well for some, not too well for others. personally... i would love a fairly 50/50 set up where we both work and we both take care of the house and children.

snowangle · Answer

I agree, it's totally fine if that's what works for your family. But I know I'd much rather be a stay at home mom when the time comes. I'm just very passionate about childcare (I've worked as a nanny and also as a daycare worker) so I honestly can't wait until I can raise my own kids. If we can afford it, of course.

Canuck37 · Answer

I voted for the first option primarily because I have a career that I like that I'd rather not give up for the sake of a relationship. If a relationship demanded that I give up my job, I'd consider it as a temporary solution, but I still see myself as my career.

FaustsFaun · Answer

I've seen it work and I've seen people who would rather it that way. My mother likes to go out and work because it keeps her out of trouble and she likes a guy who likes to cook and clean. Let's just say she's always worn the pants in her relationships.

Jammie2 · Answer

Stay-at-home dad maybe but I had a stay-at-home husband and it was not good! He refused to get a job and I supported him for 10 years.

GoodManDave · Answer

I wouldn't mind it that much, but I would prefer at least contributing to the finances in some type of career. If it was $2000 a month, at least, It'd be something.

In my career, unless I find an official job working for someone else, and it actually pays decently, I will probably be in that situation quite a bit - provided I ever get married or get into a long term relationship. I'd rather at least work from home and make some sort of financial living.

ccp16 · Answer

I am completely fine with it, but I would rather both of us split if possible, at least after the first year. I do not know how either parent can be 100% stay at home without going insane. I'd lose it either from stress of being the sole provider, or from having no life outside the home with a screaming kid. I would much rather an equal split IF possible.

nightdrot · Answer

When I have to leave in the morning and say "good-bye" to my girlfriend and our kids - and I think of all the little things that I miss (first day of school, some new discovery they find in the backyard, etc), I envy the stay at home dad.

No complaints, but it is hard to know the things that you are missing when you leave the house. Not doubting that the "stay at home" parent does not have hard work - but they get some nice rewards on the other hand that I miss and will never get back.

fauchelevent · Answer

I don't have a problem with them and I'd be fine with being in one if I could realistically support the family on my wages.

lost_girl2000 · Answer

If they can work it out, then that's totally fine. However, depending on what country you are in, sometimes it's necessary for both of them to have a job in order to make ends meet.

isbey · Answer

You really need a fourth option. There are many more lifestyles than, one person is the breadwinner and the other stays at home. I don't think that it's ok for either parent to stay at home, regardless of gender. Both need to be out making a difference in the world and earning their right to stay alive.

Giggletr0n · Answer

Dude I am one... kind of. I work only what my job will give me around my kids school hours. My SO is a private care nurse so she rakes in the big money. I do all of your typical "Housewife" stuff as well as anything that a man is typically supposed to do around the house. I love it!

Psydchick · Answer

I prefer both people to contribute. I don't plan on kids, but with them the circumstances woukd change.

Poppykate · Answer

Just as long as the wife can come home after a long day, throw her ass into a couch and yell for a beer! I think it’s a great option! 👍🏼 Lol 😂

RationalMale · Answer

They are excellent for men who want to get divorced or cheated on. Very few women can bring themselves to respect a man who isn't at bare minimum earning a decent wage. Now if she's supporting you... good luck. Hope she didn't make you sign a pre nup.

Just_Me89 · Answer

Whatever floats your boat, I don't see a difference between a man or a woman staying home. I know I wouldn't want to be a stay at home parent, I've worked my entire adult life to have a good career, I'm not about to give that up to spend my days changing nappies.

HEARTBROKEN1996 · Answer

I don't see nothing wrong with it but most guys rather work and the woman stay at home and take care of the kids etc. If the guy don't work and take care of the family it makes them feel awful.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

It's wrong. The man is suppose to go out get a job and provide for the family, not stay at home.  Besides, it makes the man look like a punk and not manly.

killmyinnocence · Answer

I'd love to stay at home taking caring of my family.. It doesn't mean im not interested to work.. I would like to work from home for less hours, earning enough money to provide financial support for my family and also it's easy to handle other things..

RealPojo · Answer

I think you can never say, "never." I was in management, she was in health care. A number of things happened and we had a decision to make. I now do investments and other things while she is more structured. We do fine financially, but I'd prefer our roles reversed. Did we make the right choice years ago? I don't know. We're pretty pregnant with it now and we make it work, but if I could go back it time I might try for a different outcome.

Ronja00 · Answer

In general men are better at being the breadwinner and women take better care of kids and the home, don't know why people wanna change that

Onlythisone · Answer

I wouldn't mind if the man actually did something like fix the house, cars, clean, cook... No, every man I get quits their job and expects me to do everything. As long as they are contributing I wouldn't care but that is never the case.

ThreeSevensSalvo · Answer

There's nothing wrong with it, women just statistically tend to grow resentful of and see that type of man as not pulling their weight, so most men don't like being in the position.

herefishyfishyfishy · Answer

at the end of the day it's all about providing the best life and environment for the child, if the mother is able to bring in more money and has the better job then yes it makes sense and vice versa.

Moonchild714 · Answer

I don't believe in Stay at Home Dad's, I was raised that a man works to provide for his family and I believe that. If for some medical reason a man can't work that is a different story.

coralee · Answer

I think families need to decide for themselves what works best for them. If the Dad staying at home and Mom being the breadwinner works for them that's great.

VIVANT · Answer

i think you are underestimating the work of a stay at home parent. its not like you just hang out. If you gave a disability you'd need help. as for who does what, i would not divide it by sex.

Astria · Answer

I don't see it as a big deal, especially if the woman makes more money and money is really tight. I'd rather stay home for a while if I had children though, I think they are more precious than a job.

yougurt · Answer

To me, both people should work and help at home. I wouldn't want him to stay at home just cooking cleaning and waiting for me and I couldn't live like that either.

MaiaStillLikesAnime · Answer

I'd personally hate to be a housewife so I think it's good

silverqueen · Answer

I see nothing wrong but I’d rather not be one? Really? It should be rephrased to: I see nothing wrong with it. That’s it

jack187625 · Answer

They are EXACTLY the same as stay home moms. If men want to be house Husbands, that is up to them.  I have little place for gender stereotypes.

N23SA · Answer

I respect any parent that can take care of their children

floytklinekole · Answer

I see anger but be careful of doing it if he thinks too many he will be on the ege of life take my advice watch him closer you will see change his life. If he is talking to him not ignoring it please talk to him.

JimRSmith · Answer

A mate of mine is in that precise position, and seems to find it emasculating.  No doubt it works for some, but it's not for me.

notcreepyiswear99 · Answer

I honestly wish I could be a stay at home dad when I have a family. Right now I'm a counselor for a afterschool program and it is my dream job because I'm so good with kids.

ChronicThinker · Answer

Generally pointless and unfulfilling, but you have to consider, I don't want kids. For other couples, it's fully fine and healthy.

Waffles731 · Answer

Its not possible for most families to thrive on a single income, you need two in this day and age for a family

NatureBeauty · Answer

I know my boyfriend wants to stay home and that's fine with me. I am planning to marry him soon

HeyThere94 · Answer

Not planning to have kids, but I would be fine staying home while she works.

peedy · Answer

And I bet she will still get everything in the divorce

FarmerJoe · Answer

I'm two tradastional for that. I believe the man should be financially head of house. I would not be with any woman who wanted to take care of me financially. It should be Jesus Christ, Church, Family in that order.

monkeynutts · Answer

You have to be practical, I chose a profession because I love my country, and want to protect the environment, but I don't have much earning potential, but if my wife did, then it would be better for her to work, if that was OK for her.

CurvyPryde · Answer

Whatever works best for the household. I would love to be apart of one where we both stayed home.

BlueMondays · Answer

I believe that men can be a provider and a protector through so much more than bringing home more money.

Markasaurous · Answer

I love working and providing for others, even though I would love to be with my kids to when I have them, I want to provide for my family.

Synttacks · Answer

I wouldn't mind being a part of one but the only one I've seen irl, well... She's a total bitch and I'm 99% sure she is regularly cheating on him and he's no cakewalk either

natgal · Answer

This is a strange concept to me. In Norway the mother get 10 months paid parenting leave and the dad get 3 months. After that the kid is old enough to go to a kindergarten. And bough parents is working.

Freeminder · Answer

I could totally excel in that role! I'm a single dad anyway doing both rn

What’s your opinion on “stay at home dad/husband” and “breadwinner mom/wife” families?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

How do you feel about house husbands or stay at home dads?

What’s your opinion on “stay at home dad/husband” and “breadwinner mom/wife” families?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

How do you feel about house husbands or stay at home dads?

We're glad to see you liked this post.