I’m just a normal 19 year old chick. I don’t play video games or anything like that. But a lot of the times I find it easier for me to talk to guys and just be myself. It’s easy to conversation like “where you from? What kimd of music you into?”
And guys are good at responding and keeping it going. On the other hand, girls don’t keep it going and I find they’re either shy or just domt try to keep things going. It’s also harder for me to be myself sometimes cause I feel way weireder and judged. My coworkers are an exception though, they do but otherwise it’s hard for me to make female friends.
am I looking in the wrong places?
Why is it easier for me to talk to guys than girls?
You probably very confident in yourself coupled with a stronger sex drive than most females. You probably get more male attention than females do and are use to having to be the one to end, what always turns out to be a revolving pattern of a brief but intense relationships only because you got bored. Again!!!
Most females like to gossip bc most are so desperate for male attention that when they get it, they let men disrespect and degrade them for a night or two. Using them up like a paid whore and never acknowledge them again at all. So they tend to get jealous of the females that the guys spend any time around. Especially in public. You have probably had your first love cheat on you a lot in your early experiences. Someone who you loved so completely that you kept forgiving him and believing his lies. He took advantage of a sheltered childhood. Possibly religeous. When gave your heart away the first time (those same type of girls that would smile to your face, only to gain a trust that would allow them to get closer to your ex) In the back of your mind, the truth is, you don't trust or need either of them. No need for any Female friend, nor a man. Basically, you flipped the script on boys after you saw how they opperate and decided to use their own game on them. Now you make them feel like they are just temporary, and you make sure they know that you have other options around you waiting for your dude to slip up. Let me know, if I'm close😉
I have always gotten along better with guys than girls. For me it seems as though most women are really mean, hostile and competitive. I've no clue why. I know I'm not ugly but I also don't consider myself a model. Which by the way looks SHOULDN'T MATTER! YET THEY ALWAYS DO when it comes to women in my experiences. I've lived in my all my life (since I was 4) and tried desperately to make girlfriends, those that I did make friendships with always stabbed me in the back, talking badly about me, spreading rumours, trying to get guys not to like me, etc. I've one girlfriend and she's my mom's age and she's a true friend. My friend from highschool evidently doesn't want to be friends anymore, she always tells me how fat and ugly she is, she's not wearing make up of course I'd run into you looking bad, etc I'm like girl I don't care what you look like ( she's not fat or ugly) but she never wants to hangout or take our daughters to the park nothing. So I'm sorry to say I've no advice on how to make girlfriends. Maybe try joining a club like a book club or a gardening club something like that where you'll meet different age groups of ladies.
I’m the same I think. I can carry on longer conversations with guys than with girls, unless these are girls I’ve known for years already. I think it’s because my mindset may be a little more male than female. I’m not really a girly girl, but I am more feminien than I am masculine. It’s just that I’ve noticed I share ideals more similar to my guy friends’ ideals than my girl friends’. Maybe you’re the same way. I mean I love my girl frienda but there’s only so much of cute k-pop singers/dancers I can hear abou before I start to tune out, yknow? Lol
I do have more guy friends than girls, they are amazing and supportive and I love them dearly... they're like big brothers. But I wish the case were the same with me... most of my guy friends have flirted with me at some point. Maybe not all, but most, if not all, have flirted with me or sparked interest at some point. Some of my guy friends I've actually met on dating sites, which is understandable, but even the regular ones have flirted with me at some point when I truly just want a friendship sometimes, so it can be complicated with guys at times.
@elegantprincess I'm sorry to hear that. I think most of us *try* not to make it too complicated... Things can still become a bit complicated at times though...
i think the easiest way to explain this phenomenon is that
A: you're not attracted to most of the opposite sex (ur very specific on the guys you like) so you dont filter yourself. you aren't worried about embarrassing yourself. which makes you more relaxed. and thus... more attractive to others.
B: you grew up with guys and "adopted" the humor, language or lifestyle. Whatever you wanna call it. when you bring a new guy around, you're afraid how your group might react to the new male.
When outside guys see this, they might see this as: 1a. She has lots of guy friends. I better present the right energy. OR 1b. She's probably banged one of em
Just be yourself. I've been the guy in both scenarios. When you date, try not to mention being friends with all guys. there's a lot more to this question. this is just keeping it short.
I have the same thing happen but in reverse a lot of times. I think this is because they are different from you, so they don't judge you for being yourself. Given that girls shouldn't judge girls anyways, and guys shouldn't judge guys anyways, but this happens a lot no matter. As another girl, they have their own perspective on how a girl should see things and act. As a guy, we have that for guys, but not girls. It's easier to be yourself around the opposite gender for me at least because they don't know as much of how a guy is "supposed to" act. So, if I vary from that, there's no judgement. Maybe that's just me I'm not sure.
Girls usually have higher standards when it comes to friendships. They like to compete, everything seems to be some kind of mind game. I've been there too. Don't worry if you get crap for it, it's mostly because of jealousy. The important thing is that you're with people who make you happy, guys or girls.
I think it's easier to hold a conversation with the opposite gender because of sexual attraction, even if you don't specifically think you like someone, there is a biological drive to be sexually attracted. What this creates is a motivator to keep a conversation flowing smoothly and enjoying the conversation. When you are talking to someone if the same gender, you may be able to hold a decent conversation if you know them well, but for me personally I would rather spend my time getting to know girls than guys
because girls are judgmental. they first look at u judge what ur wearing, what your hair looks like, etc then decide if they want to talk with u or not. Many girls dont talk to people they're not friends with. If you're friends with them then yeah.. but looking back to what i said they won't be ur friend unless u go to the category of what they see as acceptable. Guys just dont care, they actually dont care what a girl looks like unless they've been hanging out with girls so they become judgmental too.
I'd imagine for a similar reason that it's easier for me to talk and be around females than males. This could be due to how you've grown up, who your best friends were as a kid, and even down to if you feel intimidated by the same sex even if only a little. I know for me almost all of my good friends have been females and this is because I find ilthat I dont have to always be competing like I do when around a group of guys. I also found that having mixed gender groups of friends would help keep people from doing really dumb things most of the time. Just what I've seen from personal experience and observations.
It's the environment. For a person to be open for communication, the person needs to know if the target share the same common goals.
Now, social media has severely affected on the capability of conducting sophisticated conversations, your same sex has been finding that it was difficult to investigate whether you share the common goals. And the commenting culture where opinions are as equal as scientific theories, judging culture, even makes everyone more hostile.
You are truly not alone. Happen to me as well. Guys dont talk each other but once I mention "hot girls. Cool game. Super sports," things immediately spark.
I do find it to be easy to talk to girls as well, but the tinder culture makes girls much more picky.
However, in a sophisticated, challenging domain where the content of character and personal capability are priorities, difficult demanding schools, all the above conditions are put aside.
I have this exact problem. I find it really hard to get on with and make friends with girls but I love just naturally joking with boys and such. I'm not doubting that you're pretty when I say this next part but, I am not very attractive at all and the boys don't mind hanging out with me. I think I get on better with them because I grew up with 3 brothers so it just makes things easier and I don't mind the boyish banter they throw out. I do have a couple of female friends, but I just find boys easier to get along with. And to the guys saying lesbian... I am not a lesbian, the boys I hang out with don't want to sleep with me... we are just good mates.
You probably grew up around more men than women and this makes you understand men more. I’m the same way, because I grew up with two brothers, an attentive father and not very attentive mother. So this makes it easier for me to talk to guys.
If you haven’t noticed, guys who grow up around mostly women also get along better with them than with men.
i think females have a competitive nature with each other so we're more selective amongst ourselves. im the same way. its easier for em to just relax around guys because i dont feel like im being sized up or judged. you'll find girls you just click with and there is no issue but it takes some searching lol
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I think you relate more with guys, in terms of being straight forward in conversation and you expressing your likes and interests. Men are the more laid back, easier sex. And i can imagine how guys can make acquaintances very easily. Unfortunately, if EVERY girl went around casually talking to new guys, they'll be branded as sluts trying to 'flirt'... and the male breed would get jealous leading to SCARY & MANLY testosterone fuelled fights. So it makes sense why girls may not be so open as guys, even with the same sex. I hope I made a sense
Possibly because you're a tomboy? Or maybe you grew up relating more to your older brother or father? Then there's high testosterone levels and more rational, intelligent processing of your environment. Follow your interests and meet people that way. My main partner idolized her big brother, started playing football at the highest womens level, and met most of her girl friends that way.
Guys are honestly just better! Girls are full of drama and bullshit nobody has time for. They’re a select few girls though that are laid back and thank god for them but when I’m out I like to relax not worry about, “do these jeans make me look fat?” 🙄
I'm the same in the reverse sense. I don't usually get along great with guys. I just don't enjoy half the things guys my age talk about. On the other hand I find it easy to hold conversations with girls so... I dunno. I guess we're on the same boat... along with a lot of other people I've met.
Cause you don't have to work for a guys attention. They want to impress you in the hope they have a chance with you.
Many girls are poor or average at best at continuing conversations because they are used to guys doing the work to keep them interested so don't have the same practice and experience.
Also it could be you like the guys attention whereas you feel girls judge you more because they are trying to be better, look prettier etc to get the better quality guys.
Guys want to be with you. That means you must have some sort of decent body. Girls could care less= you must be some sort of competition to other women. If you want girlfriends, find something you have in common with other women. Steer clear of the "getting to know you" conversation starters. Go to where the girls are. And try doing girl type things. If all that fails, look me up and I can be your wing man. Lol
that is just your personal experience, ther eare many girls willing to keep things going and put an effort in conversation personally I can relate that talking to guys to me is great cause they much more accept me being very direct and practical but the issue is that most want to get in my pants
I'm like that too, I have very little girl mates because it is really hard to maintain a conversation with them however when it comes to guys they just want to be with you. So they will give you subtle hints that they are interested in you, It's not that you're not looking in the right places it just depends who you're talking to and if they're giving body language if they want to get to know you or not. If you want a girl mate to talk to hit me up cause that's one thing we have in common XD.
Same with how some guy's only hangout with girls. I had guy friends who only had girlfriends and didn't get along with other guys well. My ex boyfriend only had friends that were girls too because he just couldn't get along with other guys well. Guys are more welcoming because you are a girl.
Your at that age. Finished school and, from my take, you wanna get meet because you're sexually charged. No problem. Wait to you get a little older. I always said 30 something is even better, better conversation, more money=more things to do, and much better sex. And then 40 something is more passion and romance. Great sex too.
In your pic you look good. In real life I wonder if your very good looking. My experience with exceptionally good looking women is the other girls who are plainer looking are so intimidated buy attractive woman that they won't be able to open themselves up. The jealous ones, I find can be down right dangerous. The toxic rumors, the behind the back insults, (90 percent will be nice ONLY to your face. Many hot woman have trouble with the other woman.
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