I absolutely believe in this. I have had several. I think my friendship with Susan T. Was the best. We kind of drifted apart, but it wasn't like we stopped being friends. Her career went one way my career took me some where else.
Bring friends doesn't mean you can't have sex or even flirt.
Relationships should be about more than the mechanics of sex and sex is a fun activity that doesn't have to mean you want babies or spend a lifetime with that person.
Yes, but I think it can get hard to maintain "just a friendship" if y'all spend a lot of time together with no one around, not that that is a bad thing. 2 of my best relationships came from girls that I thought of as just friends at one point.
It happens. Rarely, but it does. I have a guy I've been friends with since our freshman year of high school. He's attractive. I am. We tried to see if we could ever be more once, it was weird. Just honestly platonic.
Absolutely yes, because i have 2 best friends that have been friends since i was high school, even though they both now have married but i still friends with both of them..
I think it depends on the person. If a guy grew up with many sisters and female cousins, he's more likely to be able to see girls as platonic friends than say a guy who grew up with brothers and no female cousins.
But mutual unattraction is very common. I would argue that it's more common than attraction. So male-female platonic friends are not as rare as everyone makes it sound. I find it odd how many people claim they don't have any real friends of the opposite sex. I honestly only encounter that only. IRL I don't know a single person who doesn't have actual friends of the opposite sex.
Yeah I don't know if I'd have said those lack of feelings are more common but that's probably true. I've had a handful of female friends growing up but haven't really done a lot with any lately & branched off into other male friendships, partly because there was a girl who didn't think much of me I used to pal around with during high school & I had come to adore her. That shit is bad for the soul.
Maybe the culture is just different where you live, because I know people with no friends of the opposite sex.
That's so strange to me. Most people I know are from all across Europe, and all of them have completely (sex) mixed circles of friends. The only people I know who don't have friends of the opposite sex, are teens. And even with them it's just certain teens. To me, a grown person with no friends of the opposite sex automatically signals immaturity of some sort.
Could be a Europe vs. America thing, but then again I have quite a few friends from America as well. Hmm. I'd find it really sad if the only men in my life were family or sex partners. I honestly think it's important to have friends of the opposite sex.
There's an understandable degree to which it's an obvious red flag if someone is incapable of having comradery with people of the opposite sex or normal emotional engagements, but I've met women who seemingly had no male friends who seemed well balanced to me.
The problem is if that comed from a mental place of 'girls have cooties' that you never quite really grew out of in spirit, or if the reason you wouldn't let any in is because you have misogynistic tendencies or are some hateful incel who believes women don't deserve or are capable of appreciating your involvement in their life because y'know, they owe you something you never got.
I'm not going to say it's not Potentially something to raise eyebrows at, but right now my last & recently only female friend I felt close to left & moved off like a year ago. I've been kind of content in the ether of old friendships I don't get in touch with except in online correspondences because, I've been having a lively enough dating life & I'm more of a solitary & introverted person in general who doesn't need a ton of exposure with many people.
Culturally speaking I would say that men & women are more segregated in the United States than in Europe, that may have something to do with it. I don't think it's at all rare here to have opposite sex friends, but it's definitely not ubiquitous.
Well, I don't think you should be averse to having friends like that, I just feel like it's also fine if you don't prioritize befriending people on the basis of like a mental quota or because you don't like the way a same sex circle of friends makes other people feel. I used to actually have mainly just female friends when I was really young in grade school & I didn't care for the assumptions people would make about me in that case either. The culture around having mostly female friends in the US school system is not without baggage. There are people who say that it makes you look gay, I had people sending anonymous love letters to a friend I really wasn't attracted to under my name, etc.
@Pamina Well, grownups can be assholes to about it, I haven't been put in that same position since then but I've recounted incidences of men who shame women for hanging out with mostly men on social media.
I just don't find it Necessary, not that one should avoid females as friends. I think one theoretically could get the full benefit of experiencing friendship from male friendships, with people who operate on similarly hormone influenced behavioral patterns & probably have a few more things in common with themselves, in the same way a lot of women tend towards similar attitudes & habits; often preferring to hang out with other women. This is not evil, though it may be limiting if one doesn't fully investigate the dynamics available to them before making a snap decision & holding too firm. There are a lot of bad reasons not to have opposite sex relationships, but if you have a hobby like, I don't know, hunting, you're a lot less likely to make female friends from that & that is natural.
Sure, if you only have interests that are more popular among your own gender, you're more likely to have only friends of your own gender. But those are usually very specific interests. Then I'd wonder why someone only has such interests.
@Pamina Well a lot of that's a matter of like, upbringing. Sometimes they got pulled into them by other friends, or maybe religion centric lifestyles pulled them towards a certain lifestyle like with nuns. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with niche interests, people aren't all dying to be sociable all the time.
I mean you can notice when people are complete caricatures & only like to drink beer, talk about titties, play God Of War, & listen to death metal as all they do & identify 'oh this person is a tool' but I try not to relegate people to the one dimensional very often.
It''s not unreasonable to wonder why someone would have faitly gender specific interests, there could be biases at play (if that's what you're aiming at), but I don't think that potential means there is something inherently unhealthy to their lifestyle, even if it means they develop same sex friendships most often.
Diversity of exposure to many people is good but I don't think a lack of that in ones friend circle is always going to indicate immaturity.
Perhaps I'm not picking up what you're laying down but it seems like that's partly what you meant by that.
Yes. But it is and will remain different than a same gender pal. And if any romance and/or sex is ever involved the friendship as you knew it is over.
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Sure, this woman was going on about how much of a good friend I was... until she saw me in a fitted T-shirt. Maybe if both of you are seriously unattractive you can be friends, but even that is doubtful. If all it took was a damn T-shirt...
Yeah for sure. I have a bunch of friends, male and female. I enjoy their company a lot. There really isn't any sexual tension and we're open with each other about a lot of things.
Yes i believe but i also believe sometimes it can be challenging just as most of the times it can be good friendship more than those of the same gender
I have two best women as friends. Its nice to get a different perspective from the opposite sex. If i just had guys as best friends i would not have stronger connections with people.
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Yep, my best friend sicne childhood has been a girl, though I did have a crush on her, now I see her as a sister.
I absolutely believe in this. I have had several. I think my friendship with Susan T. Was the best. We kind of drifted apart, but it wasn't like we stopped being friends. Her career went one way my career took me some where else.
If the man has other romantic female partners in his life, yes.
Else, no. Friendship will turn into something more.
Bring friends doesn't mean you can't have sex or even flirt.
Relationships should be about more than the mechanics of sex and sex is a fun activity that doesn't have to mean you want babies or spend a lifetime with that person.
Yes, but I think it can get hard to maintain "just a friendship" if y'all spend a lot of time together with no one around, not that that is a bad thing. 2 of my best relationships came from girls that I thought of as just friends at one point.
It happens. Rarely, but it does.
I have a guy I've been friends with since our freshman year of high school. He's attractive. I am. We tried to see if we could ever be more once, it was weird.
Just honestly platonic.
Absolutely yes, because i have 2 best friends that have been friends since i was high school, even though they both now have married but i still friends with both of them..
It's really depends on the person their mind and trait has to do with it
I think it depends on the person. If a guy grew up with many sisters and female cousins, he's more likely to be able to see girls as platonic friends than say a guy who grew up with brothers and no female cousins.
Not platonic. Not unless there's a mutual sense of unattraction between the two of them, or unless one is dating a very strong friend of the other.
But mutual unattraction is very common. I would argue that it's more common than attraction. So male-female platonic friends are not as rare as everyone makes it sound. I find it odd how many people claim they don't have any real friends of the opposite sex. I honestly only encounter that only. IRL I don't know a single person who doesn't have actual friends of the opposite sex.
Yeah I don't know if I'd have said those lack of feelings are more common but that's probably true. I've had a handful of female friends growing up but haven't really done a lot with any lately & branched off into other male friendships, partly because there was a girl who didn't think much of me I used to pal around with during high school & I had come to adore her. That shit is bad for the soul.
Maybe the culture is just different where you live, because I know people with no friends of the opposite sex.
That's so strange to me. Most people I know are from all across Europe, and all of them have completely (sex) mixed circles of friends. The only people I know who don't have friends of the opposite sex, are teens. And even with them it's just certain teens. To me, a grown person with no friends of the opposite sex automatically signals immaturity of some sort.
Could be a Europe vs. America thing, but then again I have quite a few friends from America as well. Hmm. I'd find it really sad if the only men in my life were family or sex partners. I honestly think it's important to have friends of the opposite sex.
There's an understandable degree to which it's an obvious red flag if someone is incapable of having comradery with people of the opposite sex or normal emotional engagements, but I've met women who seemingly had no male friends who seemed well balanced to me.
The problem is if that comed from a mental place of 'girls have cooties' that you never quite really grew out of in spirit, or if the reason you wouldn't let any in is because you have misogynistic tendencies or are some hateful incel who believes women don't deserve or are capable of appreciating your involvement in their life because y'know, they owe you something you never got.
I'm not going to say it's not Potentially something to raise eyebrows at, but right now my last & recently only female friend I felt close to left & moved off like a year ago. I've been kind of content in the ether of old friendships I don't get in touch with except in online correspondences because, I've been having a lively enough dating life & I'm more of a solitary & introverted person in general who doesn't need a ton of exposure with many people.
Culturally speaking I would say that men & women are more segregated in the United States than in Europe, that may have something to do with it. I don't think it's at all rare here to have opposite sex friends, but it's definitely not ubiquitous.
But then my question would be, what are good reasons to not be friends with the opposite sex? (Provided there's mutual lack of attraction.)
Well, I don't think you should be averse to having friends like that, I just feel like it's also fine if you don't prioritize befriending people on the basis of like a mental quota or because you don't like the way a same sex circle of friends makes other people feel. I used to actually have mainly just female friends when I was really young in grade school & I didn't care for the assumptions people would make about me in that case either. The culture around having mostly female friends in the US school system is not without baggage. There are people who say that it makes you look gay, I had people sending anonymous love letters to a friend I really wasn't attracted to under my name, etc.
But grown ups?
@Pamina Well, grownups can be assholes to about it, I haven't been put in that same position since then but I've recounted incidences of men who shame women for hanging out with mostly men on social media.
I just don't find it Necessary, not that one should avoid females as friends. I think one theoretically could get the full benefit of experiencing friendship from male friendships, with people who operate on similarly hormone influenced behavioral patterns & probably have a few more things in common with themselves, in the same way a lot of women tend towards similar attitudes & habits; often preferring to hang out with other women. This is not evil, though it may be limiting if one doesn't fully investigate the dynamics available to them before making a snap decision & holding too firm. There are a lot of bad reasons not to have opposite sex relationships, but if you have a hobby like, I don't know, hunting, you're a lot less likely to make female friends from that & that is natural.
Sure, if you only have interests that are more popular among your own gender, you're more likely to have only friends of your own gender. But those are usually very specific interests. Then I'd wonder why someone only has such interests.
@Pamina Well a lot of that's a matter of like, upbringing. Sometimes they got pulled into them by other friends, or maybe religion centric lifestyles pulled them towards a certain lifestyle like with nuns. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with niche interests, people aren't all dying to be sociable all the time.
I mean you can notice when people are complete caricatures & only like to drink beer, talk about titties, play God Of War, & listen to death metal as all they do & identify 'oh this person is a tool' but I try not to relegate people to the one dimensional very often.
You're misunderstanding my point.
Would you care to elaborate?
I'm not sure if I can explain it differently than I already have.
It''s not unreasonable to wonder why someone would have faitly gender specific interests, there could be biases at play (if that's what you're aiming at), but I don't think that potential means there is something inherently unhealthy to their lifestyle, even if it means they develop same sex friendships most often.
Diversity of exposure to many people is good but I don't think a lack of that in ones friend circle is always going to indicate immaturity.
Perhaps I'm not picking up what you're laying down but it seems like that's partly what you meant by that.
No, I'm afraid we're talking past each other.
Perhaps I'm being obtuse then, I didn't mean to convey myself that way here.
Probably my fault though.
Nah I take responsibility, you can do no wrong 😅
But honestly, I do have moments of communicative difficulty.
Happens from time to time.
No, I suck at explaining what I mean, especially in English.
I understand, it's probably not your first language. If I ever learn German like I'd like to, perhaps I'd have a similar problem.
Yes. But it is and will remain different than a same gender pal. And if any romance and/or sex is ever involved the friendship as you knew it is over.
Sure, this woman was going on about how much of a good friend I was... until she saw me in a fitted T-shirt. Maybe if both of you are seriously unattractive you can be friends, but even that is doubtful. If all it took was a damn T-shirt...
Girls think so but guys normally want more and see it as leading them on
Yes, I mos def believe in friendship between men and women..
Yeah for sure. I have a bunch of friends, male and female. I enjoy their company a lot. There really isn't any sexual tension and we're open with each other about a lot of things.
Yes i believe but i also believe sometimes it can be challenging just as most of the times it can be good friendship more than those of the same gender
Yes as long as both sides are loyal then yes it can exist, i have a few friends that are just friends so yeah it can work.
I've never been just friends with a woman. It always leads to something else. Even if they are married they act this way. It's messed up.
I have two best women as friends. Its nice to get a different perspective from the opposite sex. If i just had guys as best friends i would not have stronger connections with people.
I believe in it. Although it seems rare because it seems someone always catches feeling or has hidden feelings.
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