Boyfriend told another woman he loves her?

Question

okay, it was online so I don't even know how he meant it. I asked him about her before and he said "what about her?" I said "who is she? why are you guys always hanging out?" he told me "she's adam's friend, and they are always hanging out together and he's always all over her" then I gave him a look and he told me "don't be all stupid and insecure", so I dropped it. she is so pretty though, she is so skinny she is nothing but bones, Korean and exotic, tall, and younger than me. I'm the opposite so that's why I'm jealous...I'm pretty I guess, but I'm white...and I'm not rail thin like I want to be. I'm very self conscious about my looks. I have big boobs which I hate, wide hips which I hate...i want to be extremely skinny but for some reason even when I weight almost nothing I still have boobs and hips.

well, his facebook is saved on my IE browser, so I went on it. dumb I know...and I saw a conversation between him and the girl, they were just talking about normal stuff. no flirting or anything, she asked about some classes he needs to take for court and he was explaining it to her. then he says "brb I need lotion...ooook back, saranghae! anyways I'm gonna get off for a bit, bye" and she said "luv you too haahaa"

should I be worried? I mean...I'm really angry. I feel like I'm not skinny or pretty enough anymore...am I just tripping?

DiamondKutt · Accepted Answer

I agree with KarenW. It DOES sound like he was just playing around. It'd be different if he was professing his love for her all throughout the message. He just said "I love you". It is possible to tell a friend that you love them. I tell my parents, family, & close friends (both boy & girl) that I love them. Does that mean I'm going to cheat on a boyfriend with them? No.

& yes, it is wrong for you to have gone through his FB page. Especially if it comes out that he's innocent. That's why I will never snoop through a boyfriend's page or let my boyfriend snoop through mine, because stuff can get taken out of context & then all the drama starts.

However, it is normal for you to feel how you feel. It is a natural human feeling to be jealous. If I saw something like that, I would be jealous too. & it is wrong for your boyfriend to call you stupid & insecure. But I do feel that you are a bit insecure. I mean, seriously, being supermodel thin is not that attractive. It's not very attractive to have no boobs, no butt, & no shape whatsoever. A REAL man likes curves.

With that being said, I don't suggest that you ditch him, like the other answerers said, but I will suggest that you sit down & have a calm but serious talk with him. Tell him what happened, tell him that you're sorry for going through his page, & tell him how you feel. Then see how it goes from there.

KarenW · Accepted Answer

Well, get the get go, it does sound like he was just playing around.

But the thing I'm worried about, is your relationship. At first sight, I thought it was very rude of him to tell you not to be 'stupid and insecure.' I still think it's rude, but he knows that generally you are insecure, and maybe that poses as a problem for him and he's fed up with hearing it.

There is no legitimate reason for you to be insecure. You sound absolutely beautiful, and I'm sure most of the men on here would agree. The womanly curves and all!

Easier said than done, but work on yourself, be happy with who you are. Guys like confidence, that's noting knew. When you begin to see yourself as one hot momma, he will notice it too.

Talk to him if you are really concerned, but its better to establish that you actually trust him and actually work on trusting him, than him knowing you were snooping around, attempting to catch him in a disloyal act. He's innocent until otherwise proven, so direct your attentions to mending your relationship. Good luck.

acubed25 · Accepted Answer

If you can't love yourself you shouldn't even be in a relationship. From your description you sound like you're curvy in all the right places. Being skinny is overrated and on most women just makes them look unhealthy and fragile. You need to learn to appreciate yourself and your beauty before you can expect to be successful in your relationships. Self doubts take a toll on relationships and can ruin them in a hurry. Stop taking your beauty for granted and appreciate what you've got. Don't compare yourself to the rail girls because you'll never be one.

Your boyfriend shouldn't be telling other girls he loves them but pursuing it now will just cause him to think that you're speaking soley out of insecurity. He sounds like a jerk anyway from what he said and did.

Soon103 · Accepted Answer

It’s you and he cannot be held responsible for your feelings. I believe when someone is jealous it’s the action of someone they’re with or pervious affairs brought into the next relationship. At that point it was too early for you to date again. You need to look within yourself and see what or why you just don’t trust this man.

I google "saranghe" its meaning is I love you, then I look at this: "luv you too haahaa" These are friends speaking to each other. These I love you is without emotions or passion. You have a problem basically within yourself. I would pull back if I was you. You can spend many years wasting both of your lives with jealousy. Nothing I read in what you wrote suggests anything but a jealous insecure woman.

You need to be happy with yourself, you need to love yourself and when you comfortable with you then others will love you. If you don’t love yourself how in this world do you expect other can love you? Sorry but I love a woman whom can sport an A-cup. Large breast is a turn off because I envision them one day lying on your stomach. I back away from it. Good news is that many men like them.

dudeman1st · Accepted Answer

I don't agree with the Korean responder. If I say  "sarang hae" or "te amo" or whatever, it still means "I love you." And  your guy's Korean girl said that she loves him too. I would just ditch him, no matter how much he whines. He was disloyal to you. Let him learn his lesson. You deserve to be happy, and you obviously aren't happy with this guy's behavior. If you decide later that you can forgive him, that's up to you. But if you easily let it go, he will walk all over you.

Anonymous · Answer

You are pretty, with big boobs and hips, and you're jealous of a skinny girl?

Please do not compare yourself with another (of course it is really difficult not to), if you get self conscious, you will lose confidence, and that is a huge minus for yourself. Don't allow anyone to do that to you.

I am also Korean, and I do have many male friends who are interested in learning other languages and exotic cultures. It doesn't mean they all want to be with me. They are interested to get to know me, wants me to teach them a few cute words in Korean, that's about it.

"saranghae" is "I love you" in korean, probably your boyfriend picked it up while hanging out with that girl and wanted to use it just to impress her, to let her know that he learned a few words.

Yes I would be upset if I were you, for him to say "love you" to another girl, I think you have all the rights to tell him that you're upset about it.

also, don't let him to pull out "you checked my fb history?" card, guys always use that card when they have nothing else to say, and girls feel bad for checking their history, so situation gets turned around. Don't let that happen, make sure that he knows what he did wrong and make him apologize. And you apologize for checking his history.

If you still feel weird and uncomfortable having your boyfriend and that girl hang out, ask him to invite her and his friend Adam to dinner or a party, get to know her.

realize · Answer

I need lotion, I'm getting off for a bit, with an I 'luv' you too to top it off? Sounds fishy to me.

He doesn't sound like a keeper anyway. If he's making you feel insecure with other girls and not even attempting to comfort you, then drop him. You can get better.

confused415 · Answer

The fact he called you STUPID and INSECURE

Here's my one word of advice: BYE!

I don't care if he loved her, you, or every girl in town. No man should ever disrespect his girlfriend, especially when she has a reason to be upset. Clearly he isn't mature enough to talk it out with you, so why talk out the relationship and breakup?

Anonymous · Answer

1) He loves you. So never be tensed with your looks. He might like what makes you cautious. So just stop thinking or comparing yourself to that girl.

2) Just make sure that the other girl knows that your boyfriend is in a relationship.

3) Rather than wasting time worrying, just be nice and romantic with him. Spend relaxing time together more and share the funny things which happened that day.

tstdude21 · Answer

I agree with confused415 -- he called you stupid and insecure... and he seems like a nutcase (talking to some Korean girl, tells her he's just going to rub one out... wtf?). If I were you I'd drop him like a hot potato.

MikeVick4MVP · Answer

na don't be worried I say that a lot XD means nothing  and ew who want's a tall chick *blech*

Isceenekid · Answer

I would say your a homosexual x 10 and I would get your friends to beat the sh*t out of him :)

Anonymous · Answer

he doesn't even sound like a nice guy by telling you "dont be all stupid and insecure" . my boyfriemd would never tell me that.

but it does seem like something is up..i'm so sorry.

andi'm prety insecure too but my boyfriend tells me I'm perfect and makes me feel better. you deserve a good guy.

Anonymous · Answer

but he didn't say he loved her, he said he's going to go and that was it

Boyfriend told another woman he loves her?

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