How do you stop caring about what others think?

Question

JiminsHoe · Accepted Answer

This is so hard :(
I have anxiety, mostly social anxiety, and I'm very hyperaware, as I'm constantly overthinking. I can't be by myself in public out of fear of what people may be thinking, and I'd have no distraction/shield being by myself. I totally understand why you find it hard to stop.
I'm still struggling, but my dad once said something before he passed which really stuck. I was complaining and he told me "Look, no one gives a shit!" and it's TRUE. In the long run, life is too short to be spent worrying and worrying about others. Why spend thought on them? Life is so much more well spent when you make yourself the protagonist and put your foot down on the importance of YOU and not of others. Everyone is wrapped up in their own world, not yours, they are usually looking at themselves and only themselves, so don't worry about what they're thinking, they have that covered, just focus on yourself, and remember, you're your biggest critic, and your opinions on yourself are usually much, much worse compared to others' opinions, so never assume your view on yourself is the same view shared by others.

WarningWarning · Accepted Answer

Hmmm. I am 46 and i still struggle. But its a waste of time to worry. You can't control what others think. But worrying can control you. If you are a good person and have worked hard in life and pleasant, no worries. Let people see you for you. Dont pretend to be what others like. You will lose yourself

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

I had that problem, I have to think back to how I solved it. It requires knowing yourself, personality, and your wounds. You have to see why you are doing what you are doing and then correct the lies you believe (e. g. feel) about yourself.

In short, it's introspection time!

A short path to this is the concept of "I don't give a F". You take on that perspective and you start to see things differently. It can go the wrong direction, I watched some videos to get the concept... it helps. Anything you do to break out of the frame you are in would be helpful.

opnbuk59 · Accepted Answer

That's easy you just don't in one ear out the other no time for the brain to waste any energy in storing what they said and your not being rude but it's your life to live see you want people need to respect that like this country going to the middle East to try and drag then into the 21st century good luck they are stuck in the 6th century that's a if stubbornness, but I just say thanks for advice take it into consideration bye go live your life legally of course after all who knows what's best for you but you I hope

t_dog473 · Answer

Depends on who they are to you, if it's just some jerk who hardly knows you, then just focus on the fact that they know nothing about you, ignore it. But if it's someone close who you really think has your best interest in mind I would at least consider their words. I just think of anorexic people who form communities online in bubbles where they just hear other anorexic people tell them how right they are. Make sure you're not in a bubble and you're considering people who want better for you (not necessarily going along with their opinions, but thinking) and just ignore the jerks.

LoU_Hades · Answer

People tend to focus on particular positive or negative attitudes of others, this leads to idealization or belittling. Generally the direction others think about you shows their attitude or precisely the emotional impulse that directs their way of thinking about your person. It has nothing with your appearance or you intelligence to do, it's just the feeling you arouse instinctively in their minds.
If you have the feel someone thinks negative about you just keep distance to this person. The rule 'out of sight... out of mind' is valid for you and other person.

SirWiseMan · Answer

I actually still kinda do at times. I don't think one can just stop worrying about stuff.
I was kinda born with overthinking yet I never got affected by what others thought. From a very early age I realised that today is the first day of the rest of your lives and everyday can be seen as a fresh start, leaving behind all crap people say because people will say crap. It's stupid people's USB and there's nothing you can do to stop them. So live to the fullest the only life you've got cause the only person you'll harm by stressing or worrying is yourself.
Once you realise this, everything will be better. It was for me.

Horror_lover · Answer

It honestly took me a long time. It's been so long I don't even know what I did for me to finally stop caring. I don't know if it was because I stop trying making friends and stopped trying to find a boyfriend and it kind of made me finally realize that I don't care what people think and I'm not changing myself to be liked. Been there done that, and it was stressful and it never worked. So I guess in a way for me. Giving up for so long finally made me to not care what others think.

PrimalInstinct · Answer

You care about the opinion you have of yourself more.

When I was straight out of university I was working with a bunch of old-timers at a part-time job. I was dang good & soon was relied on by management. This caused a lot of jealousy. Comments & mocking. I looked at them with pity. If they spent as much time on bettering themselves as they did trying to bother me they may have gotten somewhere in life.

Shebleble · Answer

Its all about confidence. I used to be the same way. You just gotta trust yourself. Everyday after you get ready, look in the mirror and tell yourself "Damn. Im THAT bitch." Be nice to others. Stand up for not only others but yourself. When someone calls you stupid say "Stupid is what stupid does." When someone calls you ugly say "Thanks" with a big smile cuz u k u are a beautiful fucking person whether it be the inside or out.

cute_short_nerd · Answer

Accept yourself as a human being. Be like, “ I ain’t changing who I am because you said something to me, if I change it better be to make myself happy.” ain't NO SHAME IN BEING WHO YOU ARE. How manny fucks do I give? None, therefor your opinion is irrelevant. Thankyouforyourtime.

Regmorus · Answer

I think the only way is to do it. Okay, I myself have done it by revealing every time I thought about it, that is is pointless, unnecessary, keeps me away from my goals and just talking to me convincing me not to care. And then I intentionally started to do some weird things on the street to learn to not to care at all, beginning slowly and carefully and forcing myself to progress further and further. So it's a sketch of a way. Work your own concrete methods out.

BrexitAteMyLobster · Answer

I will teach you. The last thing I felt was in 1964.

Goahead76 · Answer

By achieving more, accomplishing difficult things you set out to do. If you've never accomplished anything in life it's easy to be sensitive about it, but after you have gotten that degree or landed that job you want, bought your own house, you'll find you you aren't too concerned with what other people think.

jason0559 · Answer

It's not our duty what other thinks do good karma
Whatever u do it should not hurt physicaly financialy to anyone
If people still have problem
It's their problem
They will deal with themselves
If someone want to screw u intensionaly hit him hard infront of evryone wether u get screwed
Don't give up on your self respect at any cost

crazy8000 · Answer

What they think is mostly about them in some way.
Also it aren't of any importance when it really comes to it.
They doesn't know better.
They probably only gotten something out of context.
People are full of it.
Nothing you need to care about.
Waste of time/effort/energy/brain power.

djmzes · Answer

Simple

JCT666 · Answer

There's really no way to stop caring. The only thing you can do from my experience is ti get used to people's criticisms of you, then you will gradually not feel phased whatsoever whenever someone wants to try to verbally put you down again.

DiscomfortZone · Answer

You simply realize how insignificant they are. Most people whose opinions of you could shatter you? They could fucking die tomorrow and it wouldn't have affected your life the least. You'd forget about it a week. So why care? Who the fuck arr they, what's their importance in your life? Once you realize they are nothing but insects - you stop caring. Then you get to choose whose opinions matter. It's incredible and it's possible, do it, it's yours!

theCobbler · Answer

Read this book ...
" the Subtle Art of not giving a Fuck" can't remember the author
But what a read, in layman's terms, straight forward, bam bam bam , !
This book is about life itself, one chapter, ( I think) has to do with what others think! You'll see! Blessings!

Phoenix98 · Answer

Honestly I just became numb to it to the point where the only peoples who opinions I care about are family, close friends and my partner if I'm with someone.

brittany23 · Answer

For me it was just practice. Remember the times you find yourself thinking you don't care, and take that as a win. The more you find yourself thinking that way the more it will become routine and automatic

Massageman · Answer

Read "Take Your Life Back- How to stop letting the past and other people control you", by Arturburn and Stoop. It's not an easy read, but it is very helpful if you take it to heart.

Aravind6307 · Answer

When your mind keeps wandering, thinking about useless shit. Just say to yourself.

Who fucking "cares", let me just enjoy this delicious chocolate sundae topped with nuts berries and a drizzle of chocolate syrup. Yum yum.

MissDawn7961 · Answer

you may not be able to , so do not try hard to do so and maybe you will stop it eventually ! thanks

wankiam · Answer

i haven't got a simple answer but if you can stop caring i can confirm its really very liberating

JimmyQ · Answer

So simple. Think for yourself. The Goya are idiots. Be the person you love and "F" the rest. There is no other way to live.

plzfme · Answer

Everyone is going to judge. So just be yourself and don't regret anything.

Ruby3 · Answer

I don't know but from childhood i don't care what other thinks except my loved ones

avaawolf · Answer

Try to ignore certain topics or things but I'm still learning

NickiB1 · Answer

because the only opinion that matters is your opinion of yourself

RLovesD7792 · Answer

you never really do. even when you have the I don't give a shit attitude it never fully works.

Lunatic1 · Answer

Personally, I just don't care. A wolf does not concern itself with the opinions of sheep, and that is how I look at it.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Forge your own path, define your own "success" and work towards it. If you are progressing towards your own goals, you won't care what others think.

Narcos1994 · Answer

When you stop overthinking about what others think about you and you must be confident about yourself that you are not doing something wrong and you are being yourself then you will ignore anyone

JackSmy · Answer

Read "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*CK" by Mark Manson!

Theclownn · Answer

If you have confidence that isn't a problem for you

far4tab · Answer

Its really hard to do so. I just cancel out peoples opinions who are not close to me.

LEADFOOTboi · Answer

be who you are, and don't be sorry for it... LIVE IT

COMMODOREII · Answer

Just brush it off. Turn your head and walk away. It works for me. I can teach you. 😗

Iron_Man · Answer

Put it out of your mind and stay busy with your life

Sheyhoney · Answer

Confidence. fake it till you make it. thats what worked for me 😭

Lovinglife2020 · Answer

Be the best you possible then don't worry. Be loving, kind and respectful

zapana · Answer

Your opinior is the most emportant and only important opinion.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

When you realize they are not clothing you nor feeding you.

lsjr16 · Answer

I don't know I always care what people think which cause me to not do things

woopiG · Answer

it's not something it's fixt in a day but there a reason they talk about other people

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

By knowing you can't please everyone.

elly91 · Answer

The day you realize you're not the problem!

Laozi · Answer

By engaging in other important things.

es20490446e · Answer

Realizing they are clueless.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

Accept the accurate and ignore the inaccurate.

Password_Is_Taco · Answer

When you find out, let me know

Imacurious1 · Answer

I need to learn that too :/

bulletbob555 · Answer

There is a great payoff in doing so

beebella · Answer

Become a hermit.

Gedaria · Answer

I don't know...

pokefan117 · Answer

Takes time

How do you stop caring about what others think?

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How to stop caring what others think?

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