How to stop caring what others think?

[Anonymous]

I've been through a series of events that have broken down some of my esteem and confidence. I don't know, I've cared a lot what others think of me recently. any tips how to not care without being rude?

[Pistolpete90]

That's tough. It generally takes years to build that defensive shell and confidence in yourself. These experiences you have gone through are what help you develop it.

My advice would be to take a moment to think about whatever the person has said and ask yourself; Is what this person is telling me actually honest? Or is there some hidden agenda, like they want me to feel bad about yourself? What benefit to me will it be to take what they have said on board? Will I be better for it or worse?

Unfortunately we live in a world where most people love to tear others down and make them feel worthless just for the sake of it. The older you get, the easier this becomes to see and you stop taking their crap on board. There are also people who will lift you up and be your best supporters, these are the people that you should pay the most attention to.

[bubbles328]

Have your circle outside of that circle who cares what others think? I don’t even have a circle anymore! I had abusive partners that would smear my name through the mud. I would lock myself away and spend time just me. I did a lot of thinking in that time about who I was and I just love me and if anyone doesn’t it’s their problem!
The people my exes told about me were nobodies and I don’t see any anymore so why do I care? At work everyone thinks I’m insane I don’t care 😂 some people hate me some won’t leave me alone my family, well I haven’t got a clue how they feel I think it’s mixed. I honestly don’t care at all I’m me! I have people in my life that like me and know I’m good!
honestly the day I stopped caring was the day my life started! You can’t stop people thinking bad about you!

[CashMoneyElias]

The best way to do it is to think of your death. Remind yourself each time those thoughts come to the mind that your time in this world is limited. One day this experience shall be over for you. Therefore, caring what others think is futile. Think of your death next time when such thoughts appear.

[BethHarper356]

I have the same issue, spent a while talking it over today with my boyfriend.
I’m not sure I have much in the way of useful tips - other thank you say that I’ve been through events that had similar effects and sometimes finding someone to talk it through with really does help. Today especially I found as I talked about it, I realised how untrue some negative things I believed about myself actually were.
Time, cliche as it is, really is a good healer for things like this too
I hope are okay, wishing you the best 💕