Why did he tell me to stop caring so much about what other people think and that it causes doubt?

[Anonymous]

My guy friend and I were chatting and I was asking him some questions about us. There's been overprotective people that mean well but have caused me to worry about how him and I interact. He had told me we'll never be close friends and that he actually thinks I'm cute. We're always flirty and especially when drinking. I told him I agree with what he said and that I feel pressured to act a very way around him because of certain people and that's why I've froze and gone mute when he's said certain things in the past. He said that makes perfect sense and that's why I need to stop worrying so much about what I say or what other people think because it causes doubt and makes it socially awkward. He also said he's never done/said anything drunk he didn't mean with me. What does he mean? Does he mean it makes me doubt, or I make him doubt?

[WhitneySnow]

You worrying about what other people think causes doubt

[Asker]

Like, causes him to doubt?

[WhitneySnow]

Yeah

[Asker]

I understand that. It's hard because it's literally our families that I worry about. He knows I've been hurt before and I told him that I worry about him being genuine and that it's partly my trust issues. That's when he said I need to stop worrying about other people's opinions or about how I act because it causes doubt and makes it socially awkward. I then asked if he's ever not meant the things he's said to me, and he replied "nope."

[WhitneySnow]

I think your guy friend really likes you

[Asker]

What makes you say that? Genuinely just curious. We've been talking more and more the past few months. I initiate text, he initiates in person. In the past he's told me he'll always be there for me, held my hand, teases me, is protective of me even with his friends, talks about us going out sometime, always gives me hugs, etc. Recently we were finally hanging out alone and he was teasing me and saying I looked like a badass, and then he got super serious and said "I... actually think you look cute."

[WhitneySnow]

All those things are huge signs he likes you

[spartan55]

It means stop worrying about those other people.

[Asker]

I mean I know it makes me doubt, but does he mean I also cause him to doubt? Like doubt how I feel? He's talked about going out, held my hand, told me he thinks I'm cute, etc. And I've frozen every time and not reciprocated.

[spartan55]

He won't stick around long if you keep doing that. What is this 'other group' you feel like you have to act a certain. This really isn't making much sense tbh.

[Asker]

We've always been flirty, but I never know how to act around him. Our families make it a big deal if we talk/flirt or hangout. They have a fear that if he and I ever explored things and it didn't work out that it would damage the family dynamic. Comments have been made to me that indicated he wasn't interested. When I finally had the nerve to talk to him I found out he's never felt awkward or uncomfortable around me and likes how things are between us.