I'm a failure, 23 jobless living in my car. I have a mental disorder called intermittent explosive disorder. Can't hold a job from it. Can't hold a family relationship or female. I'm a lot like my dad in every way, abusive, narcissistic, no empathy, cynical etc, but one thing I am that he isn't is a failure, he beat my mom a lot when I was little, then found a new life with some woman, moved us around a lot, 3 times 3 different states, in 5th grade alone. Had friends in kindergarten 123 grade then left them and never met them again. Teachers tried telling my parents I was quiet and weird. They didn't care. I don't know I've been alone most of my life, which has been nice. But I'm mentally not great. I don't know where all my problems, anger, lack of motivation, all come from. My dad despises me. Is this subconsciously an issue for me? Why doesn't he care about me at all no matter how much I show him I'm not retarded. Or that I don't steal anymore, I stole $100 from him 11 years ago so I could buy shoes that weren't smelly hand me downs, quite literally so smelly people wouldn't sit near me. Whenever I do go over they make something up to forbid me from returning, "he went through my purse" it was 11 years ago, and they still use it against me. His wife hates me too, plays nice infront of me, and belittles me behind my back
Yes, but no. Pray on it. I know what it feels like to be a grown ass man and not have a job even though I apply fucking everywhere. Try something like GrubHub or Doordash and pray. I'm praying for you man.
