Did you argue when you moved out your parents house?

[Anonymous]

Every day my mom has been yelling in the house for the past years and she kept calling me names putting me down. Today was the last straw when she tried yelling at me about how I made my oatmeal wrong as if I am 12 when I am 24. She made it into a huge argument and she threw all my clothes on the ground saying she will throw it outside. It got so big that I decided to pack my things and she kept saying dont do it but at same time she was saying go bitch. When I was leaving the house she had some tears but I didn't bother looking back. I told her if she loves me she should let me be happy. I got lucky I found a room within hours.

[alicat2358]

You don't deserve to be treated like that. You definitely should move out for good. I'm going through a very similar situation. My mom does the same thing to me when I'm doing daily tasks. I'm pretty sure I've gotten in a fight with her about oatmeal too lol. She treats me like i dont know anything, and I'm not aloud to have my own opinions and she's always right about everything. there's so much I could write. She gets blackout drunk and degrades, gaslights, manipulates and makes me feel like total garbage, then the next day she's super sweet to me and acts like nothing happened. I need to leave, but my mom is depressed and I'm afraid what she will do. But, we need to look at the bigger picture and the positives vs. The negatives. Think about loving in your own place, then think about living with her. If you had your own place, you wouldn't feel like you're always walking on egg shells, no drama, no fighting, and the freedom to be yourself. The more you're there the worse you're going to feel. Maybe stay at a friends house and save up some money and rent an appointment

[Asker]

Yes thats exactly how it was for me just like you. She manipulated me all the time saying I can never live on my own and that I need her. She really pushed my buttons and I felt so much adrenaline I found my own spot with a help of my friend who helped take all my things to move. Its crazy I feel relieved now and free. When I was there I would cry every night because how my mom was treating me she would call me a B* for no reason

[alicat2358]

I can relate, it sucks but I'm happy for you! You took a big step forward in your life. you can finally be free haha. Your friend is awesome for helping you out :) I can't wait to get out of my house aswell lol. Thank you for your post, it made me feel less alone with my toxic mother situation haha

[Asker]

Yes my friend is awesome! I'm glad to do what I want lol. Just save as much money as you can! Don't let your moms words put you down like she was with me. Just remember you CAN do it on your own when you have enough money saved and if you're like me who doesn't know how to cook yet lol don't worry youtube helps!

[alicat2358]

Im glad! That makes me feel better. I've been thinking about staying at my boyfriend's house and getting a full time job again, save up money so I can rent an appointment and now I'm even more motivated haha. You're totally right, thank you :)

[Asker]

Yes girl! Omg so my mom called me this morning crying saying come back and I said no she got mad haha

[alicat2358]

Good! She needs to realize how she treated you was wrong

[Asker]

Yes! And turns out my mom talked to her sister and her sister got mad at my mom for the way she treated me

[alicat2358]

Oh good, I'm glad your aunt is on your side. I'm sure everyone else in and outside your family will be too. You're completely in the right and you did the right thing getting out. Eventually, I'm sure you and your mom can talk again calmly if you want to when the tension dies down. I hope she realizes her mistakes and everything that happened is on her and not you

[Asker]

Yes I hope my mom can just accept that im happy with my new life. She keeps calling me 3 times a day saying come back! It makes me not want to answer her for awhile lol

[alicat2358]

I hope she does. Maybe she knows that you're happy and she's just upset that you're happy without her, and you're not there to enable her behavior anymore. I would stop answering her for a while too lol

[Quackthulu]

I didn't move out, they did.

[WindAtMyBack]

No, not at all. They didn't even know about it until after it happened.

It sounds like you needed to get out of her house. So good luck. Don't hold it against your mom too long. After some distance maybe things will get better. Eventually the parent child relationship will change to two adults, or even two friends. You just need to get out of each other's face for a while.

[Asker]

Yes I really hope my relationship with her will get better over time. She was also very controlling

[WindAtMyBack]

For most people that really does change as you get older. It's a pretty natural process. It doesn't happen to everyone. But it happens to most.

You will come to see her as an adult, not as just a mother. She has all the same problems and issues as any other adult. She has to deal with the shit in life just like anyone else. She's not perfect, but neither are you or anyone else. When you really feel that inside, then you will begin to think differently about her.

Now that you are on you own, and doing it successfully, she will see that. You are taking responsibility for your life and she will see that too. That makes a difference. For both of you.

[Asker]

Yes I agree!

[Tyrael]

The first time I moved out was due to a big argument when I was 16, and I ended up homeless for about six months before moving back home once we patched things up. I moved out for good when I was 25 but I left on his terms that time.

[Tyrael]

Left on good terms*

[Asker]

I tried leaving on good terms but it was too much stress and tension my mom was giving and I feel happy I have my own spot compared to when I was there I would cry at nights because I hated being there

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Move out? They're the ones who moved out. So did I. No big deal tho.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Argue? No. Celebrate and leave all the lights on in my new place? Hell yes!

[jahaims]

Nope