Parents aren't coming to graduation, what should I do or feel like?

[Anonymous]

my mom and dad both are not going to my college graduation though they are both unemployed and have completely open schedules. how should I feel?

Updates

+1 y

why are some answers not helpful, no offence. my feelings=disapointment. obviously. can I please get someone who has actually gone to college or university to answer. thanks...

Updates

+1 y

ok then my question should be worded, 'what would you do if you were me in this situation?' I love both my parents but both are not giving me reasons why they're not showing up.

[Darkfairie17]

I think you should feel how you actually feel about this. You feel disappointment, I would too. I am graduating with a bachelors next year and if my parents didn't come, or even at least one, I would be very disappointed. To work that hard and to have no one come to celebrate with you like it doesn't matter would upset me greatly.

My parents were never around for many of my accomplishments, every time I won a ribbon at track and field or some other award, they were always working. Even in high school when I won awards for high marks in the class, they weren't there. But they did come to my graduation. But when they weren't there I was sad, all the other kids parents came to show them how proud they were. I felt like everything I had worked for meant nothing. So I can totally identify with how you feel. Someone needs to make a fuss and take pics!

I think you should tell your parents how hurt you will be if they won't come. If they can't give you a good reason I don't see why they can't. If they refuse to come, ask another family member to come. Just so you have someone, maybe a grandparent, aunt, someone. Hopefully your parents will change their minds and go to your graduation! It would mean so much!

[strawberryred]

I don't know why they aren't supporting you. They should be proud to see their you on a path that will help you succeed. If my parents were to do this to me, I would be hurt. But finish, walk across the podium when they call your name and smile knowing that you're strong and capable. Focus on the fact that you are completing a huge chapter or your life that you've worked very hard for, and look forward to what you have ahead. The thing is, if you focus on the sucky situation of your parents not being there, you'll miss out on the joy and sense of accomplishment that is meant to accompany you at a college graduation. If they are unemployed and travel is required to attend, then possibly its because of money issues, and they may not be opening up to you about it because they are embarrassed... Whatever happens, be proud of yourself and approach the next chapter of your life with confidence.

[Asker]

thanks. 1 has a valid reason. the other just has been a sore thorn on my back side the whole time I attended college. your answer means a lot . yeah I'm hurt by their actions.

[strawberryred]

you're welcome. I'm sorry to hear a situation like this.. parents should always be proud of their children when they accomplish something good. for the parent who has been unsupportive, a thorn as you say, maybe with time things will mend over.. I hope everything works out for the best for you :)

[Gettinghelp]

You are allowed to be disappointed, and if it bums you out that much you should talk to your parents. Are they normally "there" for you when it comes to things like graduation? Prize givings?

If they aren't normally, maybe they don't feel you want them there or that they need to be there.

Explain to them that you are disappointed that they aren't coming as this is a once in a lifetime event. You don't want them to regret missing it, and it will upset you if they don't come. You'd really like to have them there, and if they insist on saying no, then they should give you a reason. A solid one.

Sit them down and talk to them about it. This is a big event in your life.

[dave216]

You should feel proud of your efforts and accomplishments. You don't say why they are not coming. They are both drunks and can't crawl out of a bottle long enough to fit you into the schedule? More likely they are ashamed of their present status and their love for you does not allow them to risk embarrassing you with their presence. What you should do, talk with both of them, understand their reasoning,and what ever it is, be proud of what you have done. I did not attend my own college graduation. It was not of any importance to me, but everyone is different. For you the ceremony seems important. Maybe it would be wise to have it video taped and on another occasion you and the parents could watch it together. :)

[Anonymous]

I personally wouldn't care if I was in that situation. They don't need to be all touchy and care-y with me.

In your case, the unemployment factor is more of a negative than a positive one (since you see it as their schedules are always free). I think they might be having a lot of money problems, cannot afford it, or just fighting or being miserable because of having no money. They probably are down with a lot of worries and don't think they would be able to enjoy your graduation or fulfill their roles for w/e reason.

[Anonymous]

Mine only came to one award ceremony and never came again or to any of my graduations.

I still remember mine telling me in the car ride home "If I ever have to go to one of those again I'll F***** K*** you!"

I just accepted it, that's life sometimes there are things you want but they don't turn out the way you would like them to.

[queenofpeen]

My parents didn't go to my high school graduation and probably won't for any of my college graduations. It's frustrating because they don't seem proud of me at ALL, but most of the time I'm just like, "Screw it, I'm proud of myself, so who cares?"

I ended up going to graduation with my friend's family, which helped because they're really supportive of me and it made me feel a little less sad :P

[nobody21]

right, I can see by your update you are still missing the point! I have just finished uni and am graduating myself in 3 weeks!

What I meant was: there is no way anyone here could possible answer as we do not know your relationship with them, how far they have to travel, their financial situation and many of the other aspects which all would have influenced their decision not to go!

your question was so vague and basic it couldn't warrant an answer.

[Summer-Sun]

I wouldn't be happy at all and id make sure they knew I wasn't happy.

Graduation is a big thing for people, and there parents should be there!

My parents are divorced and I made sure both my mum and dad were there, along with my brother... we even went for a meal afterwards.

Its a special day, spent with family... I would be disappointed and very upset x

[ziva123]

Yeah, I feel you there! my parents hasn't remembered my birthday since ... 2003 or something.. they've been constantly out of town my entire life and .. well. I get how you feel. Just tell them what you feel and just.. tell them you're disappointed, and make sure this gets consequences for them. or something.. good luck.

[Lostinmyhead]

my parents did not go ta my high school grad... my mom because she did not wanna deal with my dad and my dad because I did not give an invite to his new bitch... and ta top it all off my dad was so pissed he kicked me out of the house... I would day feeling pissed would be OK and I would say let them know it...

[LittleMissGriff]

If they're both unemployed, it may simply be that they can't afford to come. They might be embarrassed by the fact the rest of the families there will at least have jobs and their feelings of inadequacy are holding them back.

As disappointed as you feel, remember that this day is FOR YOU. You've made it through college and are ready to take on the world. It's too bad your parents aren't there with you, but you're a strong girl and can take care of yourself.

[enlightenment]

my boyfriend for 8 months missed mine and I was disappointed...if I was in your situation I would be pissed at my family. I would prob. let them know how important it was for me and ask them to come.

[roxygirlskier]

if they are far far away it might not be in the financial budget... that's sad and I'm sorry that has happened to you. You could always say something to them and tell him how important it is to you that they come ?

[AmberChick]

You should naturally feel upset. Your parents are supposed to be there for you, but some are just bad parents. Sorry you had to go through this. Bring a whole bunch of friends.

[diabloknk]

You're asking us how you should feel, and not act. We can't help you with that - feelings are too personal and subjective, there is no objective standard for what you should be feeling.

[Dotcomperson]

Just wanna say congratulations on your graduation!

[Asker]

aww thanks :)

[debsman]

If they are both unemployed, maybe they can't afford to travel.

[nobody21]

surely feelings are subjective, therefore only you can decide how you "feel" about it.

[Anonymous]

you feel the way you want to feel?

why are you asking how to feel..?

[SuperCurious]

what's their reasons?

[SuperCurious]

Well have they given you any reasons to why they are not going? Disappointment is understandable, but it all depends on what the have that is better to do than attend your graduation

[SuperCurious]

Well do you have a good relationship with your parents? Is your graduation far from where they live, have you had any recent fights? I would demand reasons, just call them and say Why aren't you going? they shuld at least give you a reason

[Josht]

lucky you no pressure.