I'm asking this one again after I faced a lot of backlash here on my old ID, A lot of people would judge me for being a father at almost 17 now, maybe I should anonymize this but let's hope for the good.
My son is 10 months old now and I'll let you know that we made this decision while consulting with both our parents so don't go come at me with 'This was an accident you irresponsible bastard!', I understand this question is about general teenage parenthood hence it would make sense to complain about unplanned pregnancy. At first I was very shocked and fealt like this was a huge commitment but now I have zero regrets, all the changes in my life have been for good. Not all teenage pregancies are supported the way we got from our parents. Don't feel that this was forced on me in any way though, I also thought this at first but that's false.
I'll admit I wasn't very open to it when she told me that she wanted to be a mother but her parents supported her with this and mine had no problems with us having a child, it was easier since our families have known each other for a long while. Our decision for having a child very early in our lives is because of our fears of infertility later in life, since both our families wanted more children but were unable to do so, also since my nations birth rate is the lowest it's ever been.
Your kid is absolutely adorable. I wish I could have had one early. I was very close to being married at 17/18 so I could have had one around 18/19 and it is my biggest regret because my child would have been around four by now and I’d probably have had a couple. I always wanted to be a young mother - I never wanted to have babies in my thirties. I know some people can’t help it because they don’t find their partners early in life but my plan was never to be 23 and childless but hey it didn’t work out the way I planned and that’s life so I had to suck it up. I personally would not have kids out of wedlock so who knows I might end up having my first kid in my 30s... I’ve learned never to say never. Life has taught me a lot over the last few years.
I think the most important thing is that the baby should have parents who love them, who will give them a safe and secure home to grow up in and shower them with love and affection and an environment where they can thrive. I have seen teen parents who have been the MOST AMAZING parents and raised amazing adults and I have seen old parents who have made the shittest parents. It is more about the individual than the age. If you ask me then biologically and emotionally/financially I’d say the best time for having kids is 21-29 for women and 24-35 for men. I don’t judge anyone for having a baby at 16 as long as they’re taking responsibility for their children.
0
0 Reply
Most Helpful Opinions
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I don't believe in having babies out of wedlock, in my culture we can get married as teens IF we want it's not forced so many couple start having kids as teens and it's fine. It would be different if you were Muslim, but as an American it's different
The people I went to school with had kids as early as middle school and now years later they're not together, have multiple baby daddies/mommas, and still aren't married. I would hate to be in that position and think it's not responsible. Kids don't deserve that.
I would not encourage it. But if it happens, and the surrounding conditions are reasonably ''stable'', then... why not. You can't predict exactly how the future goes when 'you' are 16. But you can't predict it in your 30's, either :)
I don't really think anyone is truly ready for these things at any age. We get ready as best we can when it happens,. But you stepped up to the plate here as I see it. I see men my age sometimes abandoning their responsibilities here, and you didn't. So you are a great man in my eyes already, and at such a young age.
Well, you’re pretty young. Are you sure you guys would be able to provide your kid with the best life possible? What about your future? College, career, etc. who’s gonna take care of the baby when the mother goes to college? If you and the baby’s mother break up, how would it affect the child?(im not saying you will, but what if. It’s a hypothetical situation) If your parents are supportive then sure, but in my opinion, you could’ve waited until the baby’s mother completed college though. But oh my gosh, your child is really really adorable! Really cute ❤️
I don't see a issue with it. I had my first at 17 and it was the best decision I've ever made. It is better to have kids young while your still active then waiting till 30s and 40s like some people do. I see so many old people in my neighborhood that barely take their kids out to play and I'm over here taking mine outside everyday. It just shows the difference that a young parent is more capable than a older parent.
Or you're really passionate about your kids. That's good. I wish I had a mom like that, I'm a very interactive kid but she will shut me off. Many of us have narcissistic and emotionless mothers who are too busy playing candy crush 24/7 and neglecting us or simply calling us to get HER things get done. Then again forgetting and discarding us. Despite all that they're still critical as hell. So many people have kids for the sake of it.
Sorry for the rant but Yeah they basically give birth to us for their selfish reasons. When I was 10, she stopped spending money on me and told me to borrow it from my father. When I was a teen, she called me OLD AND IRRESPONSIBLE. She is very demanding no matter what I do for her. She relaxes all and expects me to cook, massage her, do chores for her even if my studies are disturbed. Also she doesn't pays for my education by the way. When she is sad she will move the world upside down and blame everyone. When I'm sad for legit reasons, she'll call me negative, stupid and immature..
It was my grandmother who raised me, cooked for me and took care of me until she passed away. After that i was totally abused mentally by my mother. So it's safe to say that I DON'T OWE A PENNY TO MY MOTHER and will cut her off for sure in the future... even when I'm in the journey to be successful she will Criticize me and call me a loser and to settle with a man... whenever I won she will take all the credits so yes in the future I won't give her any place in my life.
I would never do it by myself with no one but me to watch the baby. My babies wake up at 2am some nights. Other days it is like 4 or 5am and i never get sleep. If i had a baby at 16 or 17 and had to do that while cleaning and cooking and paying all the bills i would never finish high school. Never.
My parents were teenage parents and so were my siblings. Also my grandparents, aunts, and cousins.
The only thing they needed to step up was earning more money for their kids. Sure, life was hard on them. But they never regretted having babies. They just ended up having more 😅.
Personally I think it’s too young and I think somebody should not have to worry about that big of a responsibility at that age, but it has been done many many many many times. I think it just opens up a can of worms where a child that is still a child needs to mature very very early in life, which is unrealistic and hard especially in this day and age. To each their own though.
I have a few friends that were teen parents and to this day they are wonderful parents it makes you grow up fast but makes you one hell of a man that's for sure
In general I don't think teenagers are responsible and mature enough to decide to have a child. I think your reasons are not very rational, though they are not emotional either. It would actually make sense to me if it was more like a drive/huge want to have kids early on. But at least you were responsible enough to talk with your families about it. As long as there is that solid home base the child will more surely be all fine :)
My thoughts are that they should have taken birth control seriously. I think they have sex ed in school for this reason.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
It's very popular these days As long as i am not associated with them, i don't give an f
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Well actually I pity them. They can't do fun stuff teenagers do. They need to take care of another human being. It must be exhausting physically, mentally and financially. It's time consuming too.
