How can I make more friends when I'm shy?

Question

ChrisMaster69 · Accepted Answer

Look at joining clubs.

start off with online clubs, forums if too shy.

look for something that interests you, that’s in your comfort range.

Shyness is often more a lack of confidence, try some exercises to build your confidence.

when out with family shopping etc, ask shop staff where something is, engage them in conversation about something they sell.

ask your parents if when out, if you can take the lead, decide which shops going to, which restaurant, you place the orders with table staff etc.

All of this gets you interacting with strangers, everyone else is also a bit shy to, so you are not alone.

A lot of shyness is also down to our brains not actually knowing how to say hi to someone, what to say, how to say it. Look at putting together and practicing some small talk that is generic, - saying hello, hi, then introducing yourself, asking who they are, if a different name, then compliment and ask about it, - string some other bits together for a couple minutes conversation, then memorise and practice.

Look at who you are friends with, how many you have, why they are your friends and what you have in common, this will give you an idea if it’s just random shit or if similar. If similar then you can use this when looking for other friends.

As you go through life, you will likely have social friends, work friends, hobby / club friends etc.

you are young and just starting out with this thing of what are friends.

get some confidence and start joining clubs etc.

ohshee · Accepted Answer

This is the one thing that pisses me off about covid-19. This is the time all the way until you're into your thirties where you're going to meet all kinds of people or you should be meeting and hanging out with all types of people and Friends. I look at the internet like this it's a very good teaching tool because you can see anybody a message and start communicating about everything and everything and learn something can you take what you learn to the outside world can you use the same thing there. I'm a pretty shy guy but the internet has allowed me to become a little bit more open about things because I am an invert but I am learning how to become more open more free in the words I use when talking with people so I say practice on the internet send somebody a message that you would never think that you would talk to me become their friend can take what you learn to the outside world to. The biggest thing I can say is be confident within you that's the most important be confident the internet will allow you to do this to fill it you have to feel it before you can become it you have to understand it you have to experience it before you do anything I say you got to experience it just to understand it send a message to anyone and just start talking see what it feels like to experience it

KAT247 · Accepted Answer

Push yourself outside of your comfort zone, understand that being shy is just a feeling which usually stems from an insecurity of wanting to be liked when you don’t need approval from strangers to be yourself, and don’t think too much about other people’s expressions, reactions, etc. You might find yourself reading too much into it and convincing yourself that people don’t like you when it’s not even the case.
This approach helped me and i hope it helps you too. And remember, nervousness is a good thing. It shows you where you need to push yourself. Things will become easier each time you take it a step further. Stay true to yourself and don’t let people mold you into something you’re not just to gain approval even if they make you feel extroverted. Good luck!

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I know that in these troubling times, there are so many places and groups of people doing volunteer work. If you could be a volunteer, you are bound to meet people. If you like animals, the shelters probably need volunteers. Put yourself out there and smile, look friendly, make eye contact if you see someone you might like to get to know. Don't keep your head down. Look up and be proud of who you are 😃. But I have to be a mama bear and warn you that there are a lot of people these days that don't have good intentions like you. Please don't open yourself up too fast. God bless and keep you safe. 😎

LuketheDuke · Answer

I see some people are not very compassionate with you on here. I’m sorry for that. Being shy is tough, no doubt. I’m kind of a loner myself. I won’t tell you what you “should” do, as I don’t believe in that, but I will give you some suggestions:

1. Before talking to someone who might be a friend, monitor your self talk. Remember as a shy person, you are more self-conscious, and that’s okay, but just know that people aren’t thinking about you as much as you think they are. A helpful bit of advice I have learned is asking yourself “do I like them?” Rather, than do they like me. You don’t need to follow any script, but try to find like interests and stories. We like those who like us! Simple. If it doesn’t work, no biggie. There are plenty of people in the world! Focus on quality over quantity, and you can’t go wrong.

2. Finding people: believe it or not, this can be accomplished in a variety of ways. If the school you are going to has clubs or sports you are interested in, sign up for them and meet people there! If you are a member of a church and have a strong faith, you can find like-minded people there. You can even try websites like meetup. org where you can find people with similar interests.

Lastly, I will say don’t try to change your personality just to fit in. If you think you lack confidence, that can be improved through several means, but if you are just a more quiet person, that is totally okay too!

The people you want in your life are the people who will accept you for YOU. Good luck! You got this! 👊

rc321 · Answer

I think your question is better served with more detail. If your in school start by seeking out clubs, activities that interest you. If you have friends most likely they have other friends that are not in your circle, gradually start asking what they are doing on their free times and see if they ask you to join.

We all been there and the teenage years are filled with awkwardness and feeling of loneliness. Take the time to figure out yourself and you will find out other people have the same interest.

Whatever you do given your age becareful as there are a lot of people looking to take advantage of your nativity.

Good luck you'll be fine.

Miristheiss · Answer

It takes courage. You've got to get out of your comfort zone and go meet people.
Get on meetup. com and join some groups that line up with your interests. Whatever you interests are get out and meet people who share your interests.
Force yourself to say hi, keep eye contact and to ask people questions about themselves.

You can't surrender to your weaknesses you've got to work on improving the areas you are weak in. The bold and courageous in life succeed. The cowards who never try will always fail.

You can do it.

humpbackjack · Answer

You need to learn to be happy with who you are and understand that everyone has insecurities about themselves. Also learn how to approach someone and start a conversation. Nothing major maybe something about class or an outfit they’re wearing. Just keep it short and simple but be prepared for them to respond with a question. Also don’t necessarily start with who you’re hoping to become friends with just whoever. Practice this for a little while and be sure to introduce yourself once your comfortable starting short conversations. Really you could practice anywhere like a little old lady at the grocery store that’s getting fruit you could say something in passing as long as you have your mom with you and she knows what you’re doing and practice on your mom. You’re not the only kid going through this you could try and notice another shy kid and start with them

BeachLuvR97 · Answer

Look for ways to show kindness for others.

There's nothing wrong with being shy, but many people struggle to understand, and are even uncomfortable with it. In my opinion, those folks are horrible at reading body language, because they make the shy person very uncomfortable.

Be kind and caring in subtle ways. Try asking people questions about themselves.

I am crazy about shy girls, personally. I'm good at "breaking the ice" in a kind & gentle way, and then I find that you've got a lot to say! Shy girls are EXTREMELY observant and usually notice everything. They have a good sense of character, usually a lot of intelligence, and they're darn good at reading people.

Continue to be just who you are, and you WILL get noticed, believe me.

Do you like to sing or play an instrument?

Anonymous · Answer

Being shy is simply the result of a very small comfort zone. Push that comfort zone, and it will expand. You can start by making eye contact with a different new person every day. That's something very small, but people will start to notice you more and you'll get some good reactions. That's the first step to making more friends. After you're comfortable with making eye contact with people you don't know, the next step is to simply say hi to someone you've made eye contact with a few times. Maybe there will be a conversation, maybe not, but what matters is that you're expanding that comfort and growing socially. It's very possible that before you know it, you'll have a small circle of friends, and with that comes a lot more confidence in your social abilities

hannahjo022 · Answer

I was similar as you when I was 13. I agreed with some its due to lack confidence and I was scare to let people who I really am. Plus I did not have nothing in common with people at my age. I was more mature than them. Yes taking baby steps is one until you get used to it and warm up to others. I would also recommend joining after school activities or clubs. I was in choir and cheerleading when I was 13. Its also hard to make friends when teenage girls are snobby and mean.

Pinay_ako · Answer

First, smile. Look approachable.
People will warm up and would say hi if your body language says Hi I am friendly and won’t bite. Jk
But for real, if you open up slowly and let people come to you, naturally, people would gravitate towards you and you’ll do the same to them. Friendships are two ways. Have fun, you’re young and there’s a whole big world out there and future ahead of you

pjf1958 · Answer

First, you have to get to know yourself. What are your passions, interests. Next go online. Find like minded individuals who share your interests. You should have no problem finding all the information you need online. Everything from chat rooms to group meetings. If you're just going to group meetings specifically to meet someone, then you'll probably get disappointed. Be genuine, and you'll have a more fulfilling experience.

pynapplepy · Answer

Really the more confidant you are the more charismatic you will be so dont be afraid to take chances and put yourself out there, the worst snyone can say is no. In which case you just have to see it from the right perspective "oh well, im awesome and its thier loss if they dont wanna find out" so just be genuine and true to yourself and never pretend to be anything you're not jist to gain someones approval because thats beneath you.

exitseven · Answer

You have to overcome your shyness.
I was shy around girls and one day I just made up my mind I was going to tell a girl how I really felt about her. I figured there was a 50/50 chance she would laugh but she did not. We went out for almost 4 years after that.

SunnySensei · Answer

I get how you feel Miss, I am the same I am not very comfortable around people, so to make friends I used to get involved in activities I liked and through them I was able to find like minded people, which made it easier to communicate with them.
You should try it too.

Pj1981 · Answer

The best way is to come out of your shell even if it's just a little. I was always a little shy myself. I personally find it easier to talk to talkative people. Find a common interest through observation and comment on it. Show your friendly but quiet. I always liked a few good friends instead of many associates because it comes with less drama.

maggie_c · Answer

What about making friends with the help of dating services?

The web is full of services designed specifically for dating. Most often they are used to look for sex or romantic partners, but there is nothing stopping you from looking for friends in this way. Just make it clear in your profile that you're looking for someone to be your friend. I think it's a good idea to make interesting acquaintances.

innerman · Answer

Start watching 👇🏽...

JennBITx · Answer

I used to think friends were important, but the older I got, the less friends I had and my circle is tighter. Friends may seem important, but family is strong. I do have friends on here though to be honest

Anonymous · Answer

Find a group of people who are obsessed with a particular hobby that you think you'll like. At your age, some hobbies people will have may be psychology, history, board games, shopping, music, cooking, languages, working out, sports, swimming, coding, gaming, etc.

WalkingBassist · Answer

Hey I was shy and kind of introverted for many years. I dont know if there is a perfect answer for the question, but I thought of a few things. Like for me, I started playing bass and trombone in school and eventually in clubs etc. Also, maybe join some volunteer organizations in your community or at your school. How about your hobbies? Or interests? Look around for activities or groups online. Just remember that it's not the quantity of friends but the Quality that counts.

Better_off_here · Answer

i guess you can join a group with similar interests, ask if someone you know can help you talk to some people at your school too, join a club maybe at your school and it takes time but if you have low self-esteem you may wanna work on that it would help you be less shy too.

eminde · Answer

“Try to be more comfortable being yourself”-It’s more appropriate advice
Cause this will attract people who’ll like you for who you are and I hope that is your end goal too
Don’t overthink about it tho

Alyssa11 · Answer

Honestly being shy isn’t a problem. As long as you seem kind and approachable an extrovert will approach you to be friends.

Interstate · Answer

Have somebody in mind? Usually when somebody is backwards and wants to make a friend, they will start by giving the other person a smile, or make a positive comment to them.

hashimato · Answer

Having One hundred one-dollar bills is better or having A hundred dollar bill It's not important sometimes it's better be shy and alone than being with wrong people I hope you get what I'm saying

Azaelia · Answer

If you're introvert find someone who extrovert. Bcs of your friend is extrovert then she must be have many friends. So you can put yourself in that circle. You can started by smiling at them.

lightbulb27 · Answer

find other shy people and reach out to them:) in person. find people with common interests.

I-C3_ME · Answer

Try to find an extrovert to adopt you, most of the time you can just do something genuinely nice for them and they'll be like "ok I'm gonna show you my love now and you're gonna like it"

Micky26 · Answer

Like others had said, look in clubs or places you like for people with similar interests, or even another shy person who's struggling... That's what I did, and now I don't have many friends but I have a few great ones.

15_Debo · Answer

Just be yourself , kind and friendly thats all you need You can muster up some confidence hope it helps XOXO

OnTheLevel · Answer

Overcoming shyness takes a lot of time and effort. It's worth it though. Start with little things like just saying hello to more people more frequently and work up to engaging in more conversations. You'll get there. Good luck.

jshm2 · Answer

You dont. Thats the point. You need to learn that being "shy" is part of your problem.

dray995 · Answer

Join some school clubs or outside clubs for people around your age that you think you might have an interest in that’s related to a hobby or skill or something or whatever it might be.

Bjornasey · Answer

Insult random people on discord. I made a friend that way.

Adam1978 · Answer

Your 13 there should be a full school of possible friends.

Weater67 · Answer

Teach an ESL conversation class. Will force you to learn all about how to talk with others. Plus will put you in a room with a lot of people who will be very happy to meet you

JohnGarcia · Answer

Don’t sweat it. Just be yourself and stay true to who you are. I’m a shy guy too and have difficulty making eye contact. Social awkwardness get the best of me but I’m not changing for anyone!

K-I-S-S · Answer

Just need to sit outside for a bit, an extrovert will appear next to you.

Backspin2 · Answer

Do some sort of physical activity. I'd recommend jujitsu. You learn to defend yourself and make a bunch of new friends in the fighting community.

es20490446e · Answer

Just realize that most people like to talk to other people like you. Just approach and mention anything happening in the place at that moment.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Do you have to love yourself or be friend with yourself first to make you confident enough to make another friend. But you don't have to have a lot because quality over quantity.

SmokinAces2000 · Answer

Just start off small, like for example i assume that you are in middle school so if you get put next to someone in one of your classes just say hi and tell them your name and go from there

007kingifrit · Answer

its hard but you just have to find a club or something. doing things with people in a structured environment is easier than just walking up to them and saying "hey"

CharlieHes · Answer

Just say Hi and be upfront. See how it goes. Fake it till you make it.

amandamiller · Answer

In fact shy people are the best interlocutors and they just make friends because they know how to listen

zagor · Answer

Get involved in things that force you to interact with other kids. And keep in mind that 12-14 is hard for almost everybody.

Raj4655 · Answer

Join club.. Try to help other people like in there home work and stuff  Take initiative don't be shy.. take small steps and express how you feel

SamFromFL · Answer

What do you like to do? Friends can come from playing games with people or taking to them when you are having fun doing an activity.

Nerdvana · Answer

They way you asked is prefect. I want to be your friend :)

River1234 · Answer

How about changing yourself in a beautiful manner, like get rid of your shyness, 🙃

Barbra98 · Answer

Joining clubs best way or sports look for though with similar interest.

Anonymous · Answer

Join a club that you really interested in. It’s easier to be friends with people who have same hobbies! I’m really shy and I met my bestie in a school club. Hope this helps😊

jeffryrobertbabb · Answer

I am a naturally shy person, you have to push yourself. I am not shy to the point where it is an illness, just shy.

Ryfyle · Answer

You can't. You use "Shyness" as an excuse to bar yourself from the hard tasks of going out and being social.

Scotte1us · Answer

I was a very shy person too it just comes to you naturally to open up one day. :) It starts with when you start having sex and relationships

ThatNoUVAtYourEyes · Answer

You don't need more friends - that is what being shy tells you. Extrovertedness is hugely overrated

Adam_West · Answer

you don't need them.  do not try to make friends specifically.  if they need you, they will come and talk to you.

Johnathanre · Answer

Depending on the reason for shyness sometimes it helps to have a friend get you to come out of your shell and slowly work up to being more outward with people.

NightOwl8801 · Answer

Take baby steps out of your comfort zone and make those strides toward making friends

Anonymous · Answer

Try forcing yourself to be outgrowing, even if its just a little bit at a time. Its normal for girls your age to be shy, so don't let it stress you out.

Iron_Man · Answer

School starts back up soon so meet them at school let them come to you just be yourself

he-takes-a-part · Answer

Boom, there.  I guess you are not the person in the dp

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