Should I reconsider my relationship if his own mother is warning me about him?

[Anonymous]

I've been noticing a couple signs and my parents don't like him. This surprised me because they aren't judgmental people nor the type to gossip about others. They voiced their concern once (they hate repeating things), said they wouldn't meddle but for me to analyze things.

Then red flag:
I actually spoke with his mother recently. She first asked if I was really happy with him and then told me that her son has always been an odd child. He used to be mean to his classmates (sometimes going beyond the ''kids can be cruel'' limit). He got expelled from school once. His previous relationships didn't last more than 4 months; sometimes it would be over within weeks. She claimed her child isn't really the sweet angel he acts like. Her voice sounded of concern.

Updates

+1 y

I'm getting kind of worried. That's the only single guy my parents ever disliked. Then, his own mother isn't even covering up for him either.

Updates

+1 y

Guys I'm breaking up now. Each new information revealed just keeps getting worse. He scammed others, never returned $5000 he stole from his ex girlfriend and as a kid displayed indifference towards others and animals.

[HollyK21]

His mom warning you is the red flag? Not your own parents? If my mom doesn’t like someone, I’m immediately done because she’s never been wrong. I stupidly ignored her advice in my youth several times because I wanted her to be wrong, or I felt like she wasn’t seeing what I was seeing when we were alone and stuff. But it never failed, she was always right, and I’m positive that your parents are as well. If you’re already sprung on him then I don't know if you’ll have the strength to leave, but you shouldn’t wait for things to go so bad that that’s what makes you leave.

[Asker]

I was worried about my parents voicing their dislike to be honest. That never happened before with any guy. They aren't the types to meddle. I took their opinion into account. I'm in analyzing mode now.
His mother gave me the name of his last ex girlfriend. I'm going to talk to her in a bit. The reason why I put his mother warning me as a red flag is because it's not common for a man's own mother to not support him. So it is worrying if his own mother described him in a negative way. It means something is definitely not right at all. I'm worried.

[HollyK21]

Sounds like you should be more than worried and leave that relationship😕 I don't know what talking to his ex will do for you, bc you’ve already gotten the feedback of 3 very important figures. If their input isn’t enough to make you leave, then what his ex says will only “worry” you more. But none of this even matters if you aren’t ready to make that final move.

[tatianamay]

Girl, I may be young, but I sure as fuck know that this is a clear red flag. He is insanely sweet, isn't he? He's a sweet-talker, honey. He's trying to trap you. Why would his own mother warn you about her son? Doesn't it seem odd? I think the guy has some SERIOUS issues. Look, you have got to be very very careful around your boyfriend. He may turn abusive. My advise? This guy is never going to change, unless he wants to change himself. Try talking to his mother and maybe find out more, then break up with him and run for the hills. This is a MAJOR red flag. You are extremely lucky to have got the warning. Always trust your instincts, it'll never betray you

[tatianamay]

Oh dear god, run for the hills, girl!!! run and never look back

[Asker]

I'm breaking up now.

[Rob70]

I think your parents are great parents. They told you of their concerns yet gave you the room to decide for yourself. As for his Mom being concerned for you I also think is a wonderful thing. She knows her child better than anyone. I think you have a lot of support and good people watching out for you. You need to keep an open mind and pay attention to how your boyfriend acts. Be honest with yourself and if he is not treating you how he should don't brush it off. Hopefully he has changed and treats you right but there has to be a reason so many people are worried!

[NathanDavis]

so you see signs

your parents see signs for concern

and your mother clearly warns you



and you're still not sure that something is going on... so why would my opinion as a stranger that has no idea... would matter and be more important to you

[Asker]

The guy's own mother is warning me too. It isn't just my parents but his mother said her son isn't an angel. My logic is telling me that if a man's own mother won't cover up for him nor defend him, there is something wrong.

[NathanDavis]

I agree... and it would be best to just let go

[NathanDavis]

run!!

[Asker]

I'm breaking up now. I can't believe this guy had me fooled for a bit. Even though he only dated for 3 months (I didn't reach the ''I love you'' stage yet), I thought he was ok. It seemed too good to be true; handsome, businessman, he even studied psychology at some point and kind overall.
Nope, he's a nasty person. Not sure if this is weird but according to his ex girlfriend I just spoke with and others she talked to; he hasn't gotten into a physical fight since 8th grade, never gets physical but does plays you mentally and get you in other ways.

[NathanDavis]

yeah, sometimes... the worst kind of people can have that charming side about them, and that's how they lure you first and then try to manipulate you with it in all kinds of twisted ways

but, as long as you're aware of it, and cut things off from the root... you'll be fine

[abcdef-z]

Well, if my parents aren’t judgmental people and they warn me about someone, I’ll listen to their opinion. Especially, if I see some signs myself and HIS own mother warn me about it

[abcdef-z]

If you doubt it, try to talk to his ex and ask them about him

[Asker]

I will in a bit. His mother told me his last ex girlfriend's name. I'll talk to her. I'm very worried by now.

[abcdef-z]

Yes, have it confirmed. The decision is yours, but don’t ignore your own gut-feelings. They are there for a reason

[Asker]

I'm breaking up today.

[abcdef-z]

I just read your update just now. Ouch must be hard for you.
You did the right thing. Better now than when it’s late.. You deserve someone better

[Asker]

Yeah he's a nasty person and on the surface he appeared as handsome and kind. Appearances can sure be deceiving.

[abcdef-z]

Well noted..
Some dangerous men are born with charming personality. They want you to see them as harmless. It shows how manipulative he can be. It’s good that you leave him. I hope the best for you

[OlderAndWiser]

If his own momma isn't supportive of him, you need to put on your running shoes and get your butt on down the road, far away from that boy.

[Asker]

Yeah I found his alarming. If his own mother is describing him in a negative way and there seems to be no reason for her to lie about it (her tone of voice sounded concerned) then I'm worried.

[OlderAndWiser]

That should be enough of a warning sign to send you running.

[OlderAndWiser]

Your instincts seem to be absolutely correct. Do not hesitate and do not look back until you are at a safe distance.

[Asker]

If there is something new I learned from speaking with his ex girlfriend today is a person can be scary without getting physical. He used others and gets you in other ways, without ever using his physical strength. His last fight was in 8th grade and then he never got physical ever again but he's still twisted.
The more information I got today the worse. This traits would be that of a narcissist or even a sociopath; a nasty person.

[OlderAndWiser]

How long have you dated?

[Asker]

3 months

[OlderAndWiser]

Block him on all media and just give him a note explaining that you can't see him any more. Don't do a face-to-face or even just a voice-to-voice break up with him. This will be much safer.

[FilmGuy93]

Seriously? Of course you should reconsider the relationship. If people in your life are waving the red flag about your significant other, you should pay attention.

[slatyb]

I think you should be VERY careful. If his own mother is warning you, he may have some serious problems.

[Asker]

I'm breaking up right now. I've just spoken to his last ex girlfriend (his mother gave me her information) and she described him as a scammer she used she never met. She never got back her stolen $5000. He stole her money, never got caught... basically got away with it.
I've just found out other things about his kid years too. Someone once revealed to her this:
When he was 9, his classmates and he went on a field trip. They saw a cat drowning. While all his classmates alerted the teacher and saved the cat, he was the only one that stood there and smiled, doing nothing. When asked what's wrong, he said ''Nothing, why do people cry over pets, we all die one day don't we''?

[Pyrofox]

Well do you really love him if yes. Then tell her your honest feelings. Parents ultimately can't do anything at all if their kids are falling head over heels for one another at that point.

[Paris13]

Sounds like Mommy Dearest knows Sides He---Hides. Buyer Beware. xx

[Wise4myage]

No, give him a chance. His mother might he doing this on purpose for her own reasons.

[Asker]

I don't think so. She really sounded concerned. She gave me his last ex girlfriend's number. I spoke with her and the information is bad. It turns out he stole $5000 from her but did it in such a way that he didn't get caught. She never got her money back and he has scammed others too. I'm going to break up at this moment. I'm very scared now. There is more things about his past I just found out too and it's bad.

[CoolGuy7532]

I would take her advice and run.

[Asker]

I'm breaking up now.

[CoolGuy7532]

Good for you.

[exitseven]

I would say that is a big red flag.

[Anonymous]

Better get your running shoes on. This is trouble.

[888theGreat]

Find out if he has a saw , mask, and shovel

[WowwGirl]

Yessss