The very first spank there is no reason in this world you have to teach a child anything by hitting them by spanking them by yelling at them it's so ridiculous from probably five years old to 10 years old I used to get beat with a belt cause black and blue and I swear up and down that if I ever had kids I would never touch them I would teach them and when I had kids that's what I did I never raised my voice all I would do is say pssst and with my first finger motion come here and if he was with somebody. He would say come on. my dad wants to talk to us.
And no matter what they were doing if they were climbing all over peoples furniture or tracing through the garden he would come to me and I say hey whatever it was let's say that they were in the garden I would say do you know how much work that was to get that Garden like that I would you like somebody to walk through your garden do you understand that this is other people's property and you can't just do whatever you want do you understand that.
He would say yes dad can I say okay go have fun that think before you do remember this is other people's property. Yours can you replace it if you break it. He would say no not. Really I would say okay then respect people's property go have fun bye I never raised my voice to him so he never raised his voice to me.
For me I wanted my kids to be better then me I didn't want him to have to go to the bullshit that I did Growing Up. Parents think when your kid did something wrong you punish them for it you discipline them you restrict them I say bulshit I see you give them more responsibility you don't need to take anything away from them. When we get our child it has no brain we get to input anything we want and with the good foundation they're going to want to explore experience they're going to do stupid things but that's how they learn I'm not going to hold anybody back from wanting to understand something and wanting to do something yes and even if they know it's wrong or right if it's not hardcore then I'm going to let him do it. My son is 6 foot 7 He's a fireman paramedic EMT just a buff Good looking smart kid. To teach your kids you have to use your mouth quietly you do not eat how do you do that's pretty and you do it do not belittle you do not threaten you teach by your actions in your words quietly
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I put this on a question earlier about Spanking.
Spanked that great word adults use to hit kids.
What is it called when you spank a child more than once?
well another word for spanking is Hitting.
what do we call it when we hit someone more than once?
Beating - a punishment or assault in which the victim is hit repeatedly.
basically Spanking is beating a child.
Something every adult can be proud of.
If a person works in a shop or something or a restaurant, which as say 14-16 yr olds employed, if they severely mess up, does the manager beat them?
what would happen if an adult guy of say 40 beat a 14-16 yr old?
oh but it’s okay to do it with a family member…
at what age is it okay to beat a child? 3? 4? 10? How hard is acceptable,
how do you calibrate that force?
also..
Something you are not allowed to do anyone outside the family as you would likely go to prison, however inside the family it’s legal, go figure.
meaning, you try hitting anyone else as you would your own child, you are likely going to court and prison. Whereas beat your own kid and it’s perfectly fine.
not fucked up at all,
Yeah I am very much against beating kids up.
It becomes abuse when full force is behind it. When marks and bruising is a result. When other items are used. When it becomes about having power. It's no longer spanking. It's beating.
When hand hits child. Spanking is just a "cute" way of saying hitting. No matter what you call it it's still hitting a child which is abuse.
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I was spanked as a child, also whipped with belts. It took at lot for me to learn actual respect. Rather than having things put into perspective I just categorized people under 2 labels:
Those That I Can Hurt
Those That Can Hurt Me
at the end of the day the mind of a young child isn't so different from that of many animals. An American Pitbull Terrier is as smart as a 5 year old child. Do you beat dogs to teach them a lesson? They dont know any better. Kids are just learning. Plus your big ass adult ape hands can do a lot of damage to those tiny little bodies. There is a better way then violence. There is ALWAYS a better way than violence. I learned right from wrong when I learned about empathy. I still feel sad for things i did in my youth that I can't take back. I would in a heartbeat if I could though. I am thankfully a changed person.I grew up getting many... mmaaannnnyyyy.
My wife and I discussed it.
We saved spankings for more "egregious behavior".
I think one daughter got two and the other got one their whole childhood... one or two swats eàch.
I always hit my own bare leg just before swatting them so they knew it wasn't in anger and it would be manageable, even if uncomfortable.
Abuse... if it's done in anger or frustration, if it leaves a mark (like bruise, not a temporary red mark that will be gone in a few minutes)... more than 2 swats? Is that really necessary? Certainly blood or bruising.
Bottom line, spankings are to let them know that there is a consequence. After the age of 6 or 7 it wasn't necessary.
I'm not telling others how they should discipline their kids, just what we did. Very minimal physical contact when it came to disciplining them.Immediately when you use enough pain to force change in behavior, it is abuse. Imagine coming to work and getting slapped in the face a few times for disagreeing with your boss. Would there be a point in arguing at what exact number of slaps it becomes unacceptable behavior? No, you do not use violence to break other people's will, period.
Just because you can get away with it with children, or you don't know any other method does mean its suddenly acceptable to be violent to any degree.A swat on the behind is far from abuse. Spanking doesn't become abuse, they're two separate events crossed over by people who are overly sensitive or projecting some sort of personal issue on the world at large.
Beatings cause serious injury. Not being able to sit comfortably for a minute or a few tears is not serious, and not punishing your child is far more abusive than doing so. Once he or she is out on his own, the world will hit him or her much harder than you'd ever dreamed of.It wasn't abuse when I was growing up, it was called parenting. I got spanked plenty of times. It hurt but I was able to sit down afterwards. I only spanked my kids one time each. They got the message.
I think that's what's wrong with the younger generation, they never got spanked.When weapons are used or you smash your child's head into a wall or lock them in a closet or chest or hit them with belts lamps telephone cords or any type of object that can be used as a weapon or when you glue their hands to a wall and kick then hard in the stomach or when you leave marks on their body or black and blue eyes or hair missing from their scalp or leave their arms covered in blood from your finger nail marks. That's for physical abuse. The mental telling them you wish you never had them you wish they were never born you wish you had an abortion you're just like your father which the child may never had met or seen forcing them into a career they don't want when they're only a child in the single digits forcing them to go to college and threatening to kick them out of they dont also jealousy of your child's achievements or making your child cry and have fear of ever getting in the car with you and going home
When you do it at all.
Spanking is the tool of idiot parents who are at wits end on how to stop bad behavior in kids, because they are too stupid to use conversation to teach them a lesson (which, interestingly enough, is usually why the kid acts up in the first place).I was spanked a lot, just like the boys. And I deserved every one of em.
I think it becomes abuse if marks are still there the next day, or if it is only done out of frustration.Spanking is abuse when it's done in anger, or when it results in physical harm to the child. More than 2 or 3 slaps on the butt is usually enough to get the child's attention as part of punishment. More than that starts to border on abuse.
I never spanked my kids. I do not think any spanking is necessary.
For me, it is if I have to use our safe word in earnest. Thankfully, never been like that. He knows my limit.
For me it was one time I literally felt the rage taking over me. Left a handprint on my daughter and never punished her in that way again. as some one else says on here it depends a lot on what you grew up with. I'm 50 in March and grew up with belts and having beer bottles being whipped at me. We've learned and improved as time goes on I hope. But yeah basically you shouldn't leave marks or cause the child to be in terror of you. Best just to leave violence out of parenting
I think when it hurts, or when you cause terror to the kid. So probably it's not the best idea. There are tons of better ways to make the kid think of what he's done...
Whem oit goes on past the point that you're enjoying it. Oh I didn't realize you were referring to spanking as disci[pline to a child- I thought you meant with S&M sex play. I don't think kids should ever get hit
No parent should use a belt on their child and no mother
should use her flip flops to spank their child I've experienced
both from my parents and trust me it hurtsI think if it's done out of anger or if it passes the point where it leaves bruises
When i stop yelling "HARDER, DADDY!"
... what? don't look at me like that? someone had to do it !- u
When it causes significant bruising, scarring, or other tissue damage.
Before the first spank. Don't spank your kids at all - ever!
When one of them doesn't say "please spank me" or otherwise consent to it.
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