I love this chart, assumably from a child: Dad didn't' say "I love you". neither did mine, although I know he did through the things he did.


Christmas morning, Dec. 25th, 1966, 510 AM. my my sister and I were up with the tree lights on in the living room quiet not making any noise.
My father got up chugged two 16 ounce bottles of Budweiser, went to the bathroom got out and grabbed me by the neck and threw up against the wall my head hitting the ceiling.
Told me me if you ever wake me up this early again, I'll fucking kill you.
Went and chugged another bottle of beer and went back to bed.
55 years later, I still remember it like it happened this morning.
so you are not 41yrs old then.
I was lookingfor something positive, but that would have been severely traumatic for you and your sister.
something was seriously wrong for him to drink at 510am, to feel so ashamed and threatened to abuse you like that. he took his pride out on you, or whatever. you didn't ask for that, I did the same and never got beat. my apologies on behalf of the rest of humanity your father was ill and hope you've been able to recover.
Be careful... don't marry anyone like that...'cause that's what happens... attraction all too often is sub conscious draw to deep emotions.
some people are good drunks, he was not.
My dad was my best friend. I was seriously screwed up after he died.
He said so much that stuck with me in a good way that I couldn't list it all. Best thing was "I love you. I'm proud of you"
Sorry for your loss, I hope you had him for long enough. Dad's are so important in writing messages on the hearts of the kids.
2 lines:
"Stop caring about what others do. You're not them"
"Stop doing that. Call others and see what they're doing and do the same"
Yeah took me a while to realize. Doesn't matter what happens. He will criticize
maybe bi polar. hate to say it... but there is really no training to be a parent to deal with all this stuff. It's not easy, I see it live now figuring out as we go. should be a 12 year degree program...
he's never kept his word on anything so heck if i know
very sorry to hear. he's got an issue going. one day, maybe we'll [humanity] find a way to heal all the broken hearts in the world.
Yea my hearts not broken. He doesn't cross my mind much. he's been gone since i was 2
when I wrote that was thinking about your father's heart, which lead to him not being there to support you. I'm sorry for your loss. do you struggle with trust issues?
Oh he's not dead lmao. I mean i probably treat him like he is 😂 I mean he’s lived in my state forever and tries to see me once every 3 years but i dont make an effort to see him in return. He just annoys me honestly. And nah i dont have daddy issues nor trust issues. I trust any and everyone until they give me reason not to. And my mom says im a chatterbox, goofball and huge flirt like my dad apparently
very well, you made it work somehow. quite resilient. So much of issues are related to fathers impact to kids, so that's why I ask. maybe you got fulfillment elsewhere...
I feel for your father, to be disconnected. that's got to be painful, but I understand your feelings, I've seen that more than once and kids think... what's the point... where were you then. and I didn't mean that he's dead, but I see men wandering the streets alone, disconnected and lost. there's not much support for men out there and they fail too often under load.
it's not your fault. forgive me for prying.
My mom played mom/dad so i was quite content. Like i legit never asked about my dad in childhood. Only she would bring him up and i would change the subject because he literally just didn't matter to me. He’d call and she’d hand me the phone and i’d make up an excuse to get off quickly. I don't know why im like that. Just didn't care for the man. And his sister (my aunt) and his parents (my grandparents) are so sweet but i dont give them the time of day either and i can see it hurts them. I don't know why im like that. But i also dont really care. I only pay attention to the people in my immediate household. And yea im my dads only daughter. He has 3 sons. All of us maybe 3 or more years apart and all from different mothers. But my dad never cheated on anyone and was engaged to all. He married the last
and after all these years being dodged, he still calls? wow. persistent.
I can only guess you are doing to them what you feel what was done to you.. avoiding them as punishment. But that's up to you to examine if you wish, my 2 cents.
You seem to avoid him, maybe for good reason... maybe he's a scary personality.
What matters is you don't propagate that junk onto your offspring, should they occur, nor does it negatively impact your life. That's the value in examining these messes handed to you... so the underlying negative emotions do not distort and damage your life. These problems run through generations and get passed on.
Avoiding... would mean there's underlying deep pain. But who knows. I avoided my grandmother on dad's side. I met her, she was awful, never wanted to see her again. I'm sure there's a reason she was a bitter and mean old woman. I was better off not meeting her at that age. So maybe true for you as well. At an older age... if they are healthy adults, my view is family is important. comes a time you need family and try to heal old wounds. my other 2 cents. it's your life though. some people... are too much work and better off away from them.
There are no problems unless the training you got is damaging your life, personal, work, etc. That's what I learned... took a long time to repair, recognize patterns in my family, and not sure repair ever stops.
He calls less and only when he wants something. Dude had the nerve to call me to ask me to pay his bills because my mom told him i helped pay hers. Like dude you haven't even given me the Christmas gifts i asked for as a kid and you expect me to give you something. he's never given nothing more than an empty “merry christmas”/“happy bday” card. And no im not avoiding him as punishment. They haven't done me wrong. I just dont care to really talk to any family outside of my household. And no he's not a scary person. he's the male equivalent of myself. I love myself. But he's a part of me i neve rreally cared to know more about.
I can't imagine a parent like that.
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Why is your light on when you're not in your room. Ya got stock in the electric company?
that's a good one and one I've wanted to use here as I go around turning off power strips when not in use. Well said...
Your word is probably the most valuable thing you have.
that's golden.
reminds me of Jerry McQuire "my word is as firm as my handshake". Watch out for money, it is corrupting...:) So true...
My dad always used to tell me "That's the school of hard knocks!" whenever I hurt myself from doing something stupid. Like once, I decided to scooter with a frog in my hand and I fell and ripped up my knee.. that wasn't the greatest of ideas.
Many things, but he taught me the value of our constitution and that has stuck with me.
Dad I have a headache.
"If i had a head like that and it didn't ache, I'd see a doctor."
Must of stuck with me cause I still say it to people all the time.
what did you say that about? you had constant headaches?
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