What are your positive stories about having kids and starting a family?

[Anonymous]

I need some positive experiences and stories about this please! I'm very fearful of becoming a parent one day. everyone always tells me, "it's a trap. your husband will leave you alone to look after the kid. you're going to lose sleep and be really unhappy. your marriage will fail." etc. I do want kids one day, but I'm just scared of all these negatives. whilst they may be true, please shed those wholesome, sweet stories or having kids. please share me those positive stories! I really do want kids, but hate what I've been told.
So, what are your positive experiences with it? What are your happiest moments? Please share me all the positives!

[NamerOfStars]

Well, I don't have kids of my own, but I AM part of a large extended Catholic family, a member of whom married into *another* large extended Catholic family, so I've been dealing with little cousins, as babies and HAVING babies now, for my whole life. Now, you WILL lose sleep. That much is true. But that's the only part of that which is a certainty (and hopefully the only one that happens!) and even THAT can have its perks. When you have a baby, it becomes your whole world (as it rightfully should) for a while. My brother was born just a few weeks after my mom's father died- and her mother died a few weeks later. They'd been divorced for decades, but it was still a terrible time for her- but she had the perfect distraction, as well as a reminder that life goes on, and is worth living, despite its pains.

But you probably wanted to hear about the unambiguously good stuff. Well, there're elements of the way that women relate to babies that are different from those in the way that men do, so I don't know how universal this is, but there come times when you're sitting and talking with a baby (the *speaking* may only go one way, but you'll learn how they communicate if you spend enough time with them), and you show them something they hadn't figured out yet, that make your whole month. When I first met my nephew, he was three months old, I think- not old enough to walk, or even really crawl, but old enough to want to. At one point, my sister went up to take a nap and left me to watch him. He was laying in a little hammock-esque cradle thingy, that gave him lots of easy views of the world around him. It swung back and forth a little, but only a few inches. He'd figured out that he could get it to move a bit, but clearly wanted more. So I held my arm out below his feet and told him to kick with them. He would, sometimes, but those flailings were random, and didn't get much movement. I kept telling him "both feet together, at the same time", and when he finally did that, he kicked with enough force to shoot the whole cradle back a good foot or so. And the smile he gave me STILL warms my heart to remember, all these years later.

Another fun story: when one of my cousins was born, I first met her when she was about five months old, and I was ten or so. I decided that what she needed was to carried around the house at the height of an adult's head, so she could see what everybody else could. You know, the usual "zoom the baby around making airplane noises", but covering a wider area, so they see more than the area around where you're sitting. Well, her mother didn't like me doing that, but couldn't catch me to make me stop, and my cousin absolutely loved it. When she had her baby, all those years later, I decided he needed the same thing. And my cousin, seeing me, had almost EXACTLY the same expression on her face that her mother had had when she realized what I was doing. "[Namer]!" She called to me, as I happened to be moving past, "I really think-" I shifted the baby and raised a hand "Not to worry." I said "I'm much stronger now, and I have TWO hands." Then I flung her over one shoulder, the baby over the other, and resumed my striding around the house, making airplane noises. Life is more fun when you don't care how silly you look, and babies are GREAT for that.

[ChrisMaster69]

It’s one of the highest stress things a human can do.

it starts from that first confirmation of pregnancy and just ramps up and up.

hospital check ups, scans, blood tests, delivery day, the stress the joy.

going home, then realising you have never been trained for this and you have to sort of make it up as you go along, how you decide between you how to manage with feeding, changing and cleaning, washing etc.

those first steps, first words, but also that first illness, the panic the stress then relief.
teething 🤦

Then it’s first day at kindergarten, big moment

then junior school time, what do we do local or private. We went private as it made sense for us.

Buying uniform, first day etc.

seeing them grow.

its fucking hard and it’s very much an individual way to doing things, every child is different, every parent is different.

Is it rewarding, hmm just spent nearly 2 hours making pancakes, toasting tea cakes and making milk shakes etc, still rewarding though.

Would not swap it

[Apple1996]

If you like your kids and husband then it isn't as bad as others make it seem. It's cause a lot of people choose to be ungrateful for their families.
For me I'm very grateful for my husband and my kids. They are my everything and fill my life with so much joy. Even when they are being crazy and stressful those are some of the best times cause at least your able to spend time together. I think if I never got married or had kids that I wouldn't of had anything to live for. Would have probably ended my life tbh. Even tho that sounds extreme it's true... so I'm very lucky that I have my family cause they are what make my life amazing and worth living.

[SnakeBoop]

Meh. They're a struggle and it's hard.
You have to juggle a new life dependent on you while also maintaining some life with your partner that isn't shit cleaning, sick cleaning, feeding.
It IS hard.

[daster4442]

whats the positives of marrying and having a kid? maybe that they will look after you when your older?

[Asker]

Haha I get what you're saying. I just want to hear the positives of people's life experiences of having kids. For example, someone might say that in their life, they've struggled and even though they've had kids, maybe it's been a lot of light. Maybe sharing some great stories of having kids. But lol I understand

[daster4442]

i dont know i dont have a kid