Girls and men, do you think it's just as important for a child to have a father as it is for them to have a mother?

[Anonymous]

Please understand, I'm not knocking single mothers, my mom and uncles grew up without a father. My grandma actually raised them to be very good people and successful. However, they all wish they had a father, especially my mother, she is still broken inside. How many of you can relate? We all know and understand the importance of a mother but do you feel a child is being robbed by not at least having a father figure?

[meetkitty123]

My father is one of the most important people in my life. He took me from my abusive mother. I cannot imagine what I would do without him. Now that said I currently have one child whos biological father isn't present but she does have a step dad who stepped in. She also has my father who has been present from the moment she was born. He literally stayed with me the entire 3 days of labor. She doesn't care about her biological father but she adores my dad and her step dad. My other child has his biological dad but they bump heads. His dad is harsh. I separated from him because he punched my first child. He tough on my son and my son hates having to go see him.
So my conclusion is a child needs both positive male and female role models. The biological part isn't always necessary. However it is very important that they are informed about the origins.

[meetkitty123]

Thank you for the MHO 🙂

[Asker]

You're welcome. Yours is an amazing story. Good luck to you and your family.

[YunaKe]

Definitely.
Especially if it's a daughter... The father is the first man she's ever gonna know...
If her father treated her with kindness and respect she's gonna know what to expect from other men approaching her. You don't want her to get into toxic relationships simply because she doesn't know what to expect from men.

Also with Son... There might be stuff he'll have to go through growing up that his father already went through and would be a better guide than his mother in those specific fields.

But of course that doesn't mean single parents cannot do their best and raise a kid just as well.

[ohshee]

There are a lot of kids now adays that have fathers and there still not in there kids lifes and that suck

From 1 to 10 I had a step dad st 5 I found out my step dad was not my real dad so from 5 until I was 27 I always wondered who I was at 29 I new who I didn't want to be.. at 16 1/2 i moved out of my mom's house because she remarried. And one day we had words and i told him to never put his hands on me again.. as from 5 to 10 my step would beat me with a belt and when my mom and dad got a divorce I told myself if my mom ever got married again if this guy ever laid his hands on me I would kick his fucking ass I would not stop
Well he tried I told him dont and a few other words and as I turned to walk away my mom was there she didn't say anything but the look in her eyes killed me so 2 weeks later I moved out

I I consider myself pretty lucky because all the crap that happened to me I would not change a thing because from 5 years old to 27 years old I always wanted to know who I was and I would look at people and I would start to read them and I got pretty good at it
All the things that your parents are supposed to do for you and set that foundation for you I didn't have so I had to do it myself I had to learn wrong from right very quickly I had to learn how to love instead of hate you name it I had to learn it like I said I would not change a thing because I analyzed everything I can read people inside and out I am probably the most real person you will ever meet kids are very very special and kids should have both parents and both parents should give their kids room to grow experience live life and become better than they are that should be a golden rule if you look at kids nowadays they are all smart asses they are bullies they are loud mouths it's a me me throw away world that they lived in I feel bad for them don't get me wrong there are some good kids out there oh you got to do for kids is be their parent life is an experience they're going to experience it they're going to follow you you are there God don't listen to your words but they will pick and choose but what they will do is they will watch you it will listen and they will act exactly like you do so for all the parents out there they think they have to yell and scream when your kids do something wrong stop it you're a fool and you look like a fool
Because when you do that all your teaching your kids is that what you want something you have to yell scream and throw a tantrum tantrum to get it stop it stay calm stay focused think ahead what really happened talk to them for 15 seconds 20 seconds make your point and drop it you don't discipline you don't take away from then when they do something wrong what you do is you give them more responsibility teach them who and how to be in this world taking away something from them does it hurt them

Is a grow up they think they have to take everything or anything from the people in their life to make a point it doesn't work you're teaching the more you're doing more harm than teaching any good you don't have to touch a kid you don't have to hit again you don't have to yell at a kid they can hear you just fine when you talk in a very low voice they lifted intensely when they can barely hear you when you're yelling and screaming all you're doing is teaching them when they want something that got to act like you like a fool when parents get a divorce and the argue around their kids stop it because all your teaching them is when they get into a relationship how to handle it yell scream names and try to hurt each other stop it

When you get a divorce it doesn't matter how much you hate each other still we're friends at one time respected each other at one time and that's what you have to teach your kids how to handle situations how to handle relationships for mother's you don't talk about the father and put him down because when you do that you show them that you're weak and that you hate so

[ohshee]

Sorry I had to hold another page LOL and it didn't copy and paste the basically forefathers don't teach your kids to hate women don't treat your ex-wife like she's a bitch you need to teach your boys to respect women teach them how to be don't teach them how to be an asshole two women just because you're not grown up enough to be a man and respect that person that you married when you split up with your wife you teach your kids how to be when he's in a relationship and that is you have your differences but you once loved each other and you were there for them if you teach him how to call your wife names or put her down it's going to backfire teach your kids how to be in life when they are in their relationship and something goes wrong teach them to stay calm and still respect show them that you care it's not all about you and if you make it all about you you're going the wrong way you're teaching your kids the wrong thing

[NamerOfStars]

Growing up without a father (or at least a father figure) is the single biggest predictive factor of future serious criminality in a child- bigger than race or poverty or being the child of criminals. It's so fundamental a feature of male psychology that not only does it apply across cultures, it applies across *species*: elephants, which aren't even PRIMATES, see the same thing- obviously they're not "criminal" in the sense that humans are, but they're still far more likely to be antisocial and violent without a paternal presence.

You may, thinking about that, wonder what that means for same-sex couples. The answer is: nobody knows. There's just not enough data yet. I would bet you anything, however, that whatever damage that might do could be strongly mitigated with a sizeable extended family presence. I was the child of two parents who both came from large extended Catholic families with big presences in their lives, and I can clearly see the huge advantages that provided me; it's the kind of thing I'd strongly suggest encouraging (the Catholicism is optional; while it provides other benefits, the "family" part is the critical thing here).

[Femphile_xoxo]

A father isn't required for a child to grow into a functioning adult! There's nothing wrong with being a single mother or single father. Sure, there are certain scenarios where it's nice to have a parent who's the same sex but, if the single parent is willing to break down those gender barriers to support their child, there shouldn't be an issue! Additionaly, parental figures aren't the only role models in a kid's life. I don't know why everyone thinks single mothers are automatically gonna go down "risky pathways" and resort to substance abuse or trouble with the law.
In other words, there are family structures that aren't just the nuclear family.

[t-8900]

Because statistics don't lie. Single mother households have the highest household ratio for child abuse of every kind from sexual to mental to physical. Boys are vastly more likely to become criminals than if they had both parents. Mother's are statistically more likely to physically abuse their children than fathers as well. Go look up the stats. And there is a drive for most children to know about the parent they don't have in their lives, which leads to depression.

[meetkitty123]

Your input is correct there is no reason to knock a single mother however the Author of this post was not insulting single mothers. If anything he showed admiration for single mothers. The question is are Fathers equally important for the child? He is not implying that single moms are bad.

[Femphile_xoxo]

@t-8900 Yeesh, thanks for the suggestion! I'll do my best to summarize.
Many studies that preach female incompetency focus on divorced women who had unplanned pregnancies (McLanahan and Sandefur, 1994). Unplanned pregnancies commonly have detrimental effects on the wellbeing of the child and its mothers (Barrow et al. 2018). They have to deal with additional societal pressures and backlash (Konstam et al. 2016). Additionally, 90% of divorced women have custody of their child even if the court didn't order it.
What about single moms who aren't struggling to support themselves? Studies show they're doing fine (Wert, 2014; Golombok, 2010; Golombok & Zadeh, 2016). Children of single mothers who don't experience parental conflict or domestic violence are less likely to become a criminal or have increased economic struggles later in life (Hertz, 2006; Jadva et al., 2009; Murray & Golombok, 2005 ).
There are also women who choose to have children through reproductive donation (egg donation, insemination or surrogacy). As it turns out, these children were well-adjusted (Golombok et al. 2013). And a lack of gestational connection carries miniminal chance of placing children at increased psychological risk.
To summarize, single mothers by choice are no different nuclear families! If the child is supported and cared for unconditionally, they should grow to be a functioning member of society. Single mothers by choice even have been recorded to have stronger relationships with their kids than coupled women (Slade, Belsky, Aber, & Phelps, 1999).
A few other things I feel kinda stupid for not including!! It's common sense that mothers and fathers aren't the only fem/male figures in a child's life. To my knowledge, some single mothers by choice actually have the same concern you do! Though they have male adult friends that they can introduce to their child for nonparental male role models.
by the way if you want I can totally put the full sources!! :D

[Femphile_xoxo]

@meetkitty123 Totally! Sorry, my response was focused more on the other commenters rather than the OP. But even then, I don't see anything wrong with asking the question! In my mind, male role models are important in a kid's life but they don't necessarily have to be paternal.

[meetkitty123]

@Femphile_xoxo yes I agree with you 😊 they dont have to be paternal or biological.

[Agagagagaga]

@Femphile_xoxo Tell us you’re a raging feminist who is majoring in sociology without telling us you’re a raging feminist majoring in sociology 🙄

[Femphile_xoxo]

@Agagagagaga OMG PLS I WISH 😭. I'm not but still </3

[t-8900]

I don't trust it
Why is she choosing to be single? Why couldn't she keep a man in all those years?

[Femphile_xoxo]

@t-8900 Does she need a man to survive? No!
Some women are lesbians, (or are of other sexualities and at that time, engaged with a female partner). Others are straight but simply don't care to be on the prowl for men. Maybe because they wanted to have a child of their own and would rather that be their focus. I mean, if a single mother plans to have a kid, wouldn't it be best that she's focusing her time on the well-being of her child rather than finding a husband?
Anyways, women don't need husbands 🤪😒💅

When it comes to donation reproduction (insemination, egg donation, surrogacy, etc), it's a long process. The applicant mother has to go through psychological evaluations to make sure that she is a woman who can take care of her child and also they do background checks on financial stuff to make sure she's well off. Wouldn't you assume that a woman who's financially stable, is psychologically approved to have a kid, AND is just flat out wanting to have a kid, going to be a good mom?

[t-8900]

I always find it hilarious when women say they don't need a man and they are strong and independent... Yet still rely on law enforcement, courts, lawyers to fight their battles. They aren't strong and independent, they are heavily reliant on the system which men built and keep going. She's not fixing her own plumbing or her car transmission, and she's not fighting on the front lines
She can be financially stable, but not strong and independent. Humans are not independent, we are social creatures, period. Our species would have died off in it's infancy if we didn't work on groups. The system also acts like LGBT is normal, trans people teaching kids is normal. It's not normal, those would have been genetic rejects that would not have reproduced. As such this system that is gynocentric in nature is highly suspect in evaluation on this regard. Therefore, no I don't see how this scenario is better for children. If she can't secure and keep a mate she's not all there

[Spongeboblol]

Fatherless child, or a child whose father is bad, alcoholic, workaholic (seldom talks from heart to heart and asks , helps his child while his child is struggling leaving his child feel lonely depressed making his child becoming attention seeker in public, leading to abused relationship to fulfil the lost love and can't get enough achievement , many more) or his dad is abuser , often hits the child's mom, fets angry, condemns the mom, or even emotionally abuser, or the dad doesn't want to raise the household financially, cheats on his wife, all of this usually ends up causing the child to be a worse child ever , than good child, it happens everywhere

[ShadezMcgee]

I would say it is imperative for the child's development and growth for both parents to be in the picture, because they bring different levels of growth and things to teach that the other gender cannot. Masculine and feminine energy is something all children need and need exposure to to be well rounded in life.

[aided_]

i think both parents are absolutely necassary
i am too tired but i love my father and my mother and i dont think i would or could be who i am without them
and i dont mean i dont think i could become this person
i mean this is me
and i wouldn't be myself without them both

[Anonymous]

Yes!
I think there’s more to it than just having both parents, children need a role model for masculine and Feminine traits from both parents.
Bad examples or mentors are why we have thing being named different like men with no Empathy compassion for other, and/or the lack of knowing right from wrong and using force to get there way. are no longer call assholes they have toxic masculinity. Over reaching women that have not developed emotional understanding that feel entitled due to some wrong doing have acquired the title of toxic feminists.
Both of these individuals tend to not have conversations about how we all have both Feminine and masculine traits.

[Qdbrown]

If the children will grow up to be healthy adults, getting structure from dad cannot be beat, if he is there and apart the child's life on a daily basis.

No single mom can provide that, and the proof is in the pudding. Single mom kids have the hardest life, many get into trouble with the law, and make horrible life decisions.

[HighValue]

In my experience working in schools for 12 years, most of the time the kids with bad behavior problems and that perform poorly academically are from single mother households.
The ones from single father households tend to have better behavior and perform better academically.
Not surprisingly though, kids that have both a mother and father at home often perform the best.

[boggboss]

Clearly both are needed for examples of good role models ofc that also applies to the adults being good parents

[dustybiker]

Depends on the parents.
I’ve known both men and woman who should never, ever have children.

[kuladiamond]

Yes i think both are equally as important, i would have been a complete mess even more than im now without both of my parents being there for me and supporting me

[gabby100]

I was blessed to have both my parents. Mum was the the strict one, but she was lovely with it , but dad he was a softy, could be strict but he let me twist him round my finger..
They are sorely missed..

[captain_voidwalker]

Statistically speaking its more important. Children from single father households are almost as productive as ones from 2 parent households. While children from single mother households fill our prisons and perform the majority of the crime.

[Slartybartfast]

It's bad to not have a parent of the same gender. Boys without father's usually wind up in prison or dead.

[FancyPantz]

A mother and father who are present and nurturing towards their children are absolutely necessary.

[RedStiletto88]

Yes both parents have much to offer in raising children. It’s sad when a child misses out on that

[SnakeBoop]

no. good role models of either gender is whats needed. that doesn't have to be their parents.

[YoHoeRose]

Absolutely a father is detrimental to a child's development. My father is my best friend.

[Guy__]

Detrimental? You meant essential, right? Though sometimes it can be detrimental when real love isn't present.

[YoHoeRose]

Yes🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ of course I do haha. I'm dumb

[exitseven]

Yes, statistic show that kids that come from two parent households are more successful in life.

[Anonymous]

Well, we don’t actually know how important not having a mother is on a grand scale. But we do have evidence for large scale fatherlessness. Fathers are clearly important, but mothers? Eh, no evidence one way or the other.

[Pudsmucker]

Yes it is important to have a male role model as well as a female role model. It brings stronger stability.

[Anonymous]

It's safe to have both. I have good parents and my mom was so good that she could have raised us herself and we'd still be good. But almost every person I grew up with whose dad wasn't around had something messed up in their life because of it

[TheFlak38]

Women have become useless as mothers. Children today need masculine role models. Not feminine.

[KrakenAttackin]

Why did you feel the need to ask anonymously?

Father's in the home make for safer, happier, more stable, more successful kids.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I think its important if the man is a good man. Having a father in your life who isn't a good father is just a waste for him to be there.

[OddBeMe]

No, but having two parents does have researched benefits. Gender isn’t as important as having two separate and probably a bit opposite parenting.

[Chthou95]

Fathers keep sons out of jail & daughters off of stripper poles

[Aerissa_Jade]

Both parents are equally important.

[SirDerpsalot1901]

Both parents are important.

[lovedejj_xo]

Both parents are needed

[Pterodon]

Absolutely fathers are necessary

[Babygirl_S]

Yes both are important.

[Phoenix98]

Absolutely.

[jjj101010]

Yes.

[jimmy2]

Hell yes