What do you do if your spouse Doesn’t want to have another kid but you do?

Question

We can afford another kid. We are married

Moose304 · Accepted Answer

I have seen this dynamic play out in my circle of friends. this is why is SO DAMN IMPORTANT that a couple be compatible and make damn sure of it before they start a relationship. This is a VERY complex situation with no easy answers. In the end, it is her body. If she is firm on that decision to not have another child this is what you have to accept. I know a couple that went through this about 10 years ago. They had 2 kids but had decided to have 3 at some point. The wife just balked at a 3rd so they did not have a 3rd. The man went into a depression over this and eventually dumped her. He now has 2 more kids with his 2nd wife and to be honest, his oldest 2 spend far more time with him than they do their mother. Again it is your body ladies! Still is this a hill you want to chance the death of a relationship on? I know I am being an asshole, guilty as charged! However, I stand on this position because human nature being what it is sometimes you can and DO lose badly in these situations!

RobT312 · Accepted Answer

Well.. that’s tough. Keep talking and maybe she’ll come around. I can see why you’d want more than one.
having 2 may actually be easier , they become companions for each other bugging the parents less...
I hope to have 2-3

Femphile_xoxo · Accepted Answer

You can't make her have another kid. If you've already discussed it and she says she doesn't want another kid, respect her decision. Either go your separate ways or appreciate the kid you already have.
Financial support isn't the only reason to have a kid. She might not want to go through being pregnant again, I totally get that. Or to her, one kid is simply enough. Respect her decision.

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

Have you asked her why she doesn't?

Have you considered the impacts of another birth on her health and well-being?

How much of the home life do you, as the father, take care of?

Why do you want two children? What will it bring you, and why do you feel this way?

There's a lot of questions you need to ask to get to the bottom of this.

dustybiker · Answer

That is tough. How old is your child? You are both still young. Maybe she will change her mind as your child grows older and requires less immediate care? Maybe pull back pushing just now. It will only close her off more. Let her breathe for a bit.

Carolus · Answer

It’s all about how you feel about her vs the need to have another baby, whatever wins wins. You can’t force her but it’s clear she doesn’t love you the same if you do.

Prettygurl12 · Answer

You don't have another.

With everything under the sun - especially when it comes to deciding when/if to create human life - the one who says "No." wins.

In a marriage, if you can't reach a compromise you don't do whatever it is that you're debating. There is no compromise on children. You don't have half a baby. You either have a whole baby or no baby. And when you're at an impass, you don't do whatever it is you're disagreeing on.

SkyCastle90 · Answer

Get a puppy.

If your wife has no patience for the current child and finds raising a child stressful, then she's not fit to be a parent. It is possible there are some mental issues she's not dealing with and could need therapy.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Adopt?  There are plenty of kids who need adopting, so if you can give them a loving family you'll be doing some good, and you and your wife can BOTH be happy.

Pudsmucker · Answer

This what my wife and I look at when we discussed about having additional child. Our mental health, physical health. The affordability is if you have one child you can afford two or three. Clothes can be used for hand-me-downs. Until they get old enough to realize what's going on. Children are a blessing from God. You also need to bring God into the question.

Paul09 · Answer

Here I thought it was mostly women that want kids. But why do you want kids? What's the purpose? You can't make a person to want to have kids. Plus her body, and she would have to do most of the work carrying your kids. You really want one, find yourself a woman that wants. Or if you really love her, youd accept her.

Subarugirl · Answer

I think that unless you are a woman who has been pregnant and has given birth you will never be able to fully comprehend just how difficult that is.

DizzyDesii · Answer

If they didn't want to biologically give me a second child, i’d let them know that I’m going to adopt a second child. And if they want no part in that, I’d sign off as the only parent to the adopted child

sjad16 · Answer

It's not working like that you can't force her in Islam we can't force wemon to make with us she have the option
You need time bro like read the stations very well don't force to get child take the thing an easy and slower step by step and with the talking on another subject you can know why she don't went one more give her the time make more with her by the time she will accept

Yucy_Gluttony · Answer

Buy a white ven and look for a kid wandering about! NAW, I would facepalm myself. SPOUSE? So MARRIAGE? I'd be stupid to not talk about that before marrying him

AviatorTom · Answer

If your partner is totally against another kid, you have to agree with her. You already have one kid, so love and take care of her.

Apple1996 · Answer

Probably should have decided a number of kids before getting married so that this isn't a issue

Slartybartfast · Answer

I wanted children, my wife didn't do we compromised and didn't have any, then she left and got pregnant with twins..

Berethor · Answer

Maybe you should talked about it before you got married, as it can be a dealbreaker issue.

Avicenna · Answer

If one spouse doesn't want another kid, you don't have one. It's a simple as that.

fonduegirl · Answer

I'm sure you'd feel differently if it was your tummy in use :D

gabby100 · Answer

These are questions that should have been resolved before you got married..

exitseven · Answer

sometimes you have to go along with your spouse. Having a kid is a big responsibility.

RationalMale · Answer

Both the father and mother absolutely need to agree 100% before having any kid. It's not just a matter of affording, either.

sheikalana · Answer

Well, try to understand why is he not interested in having another kid.

LivingExample · Answer

If the topic of how many children to have was discussed before you got married you can bring that to her attention!

Visionary7 · Answer

Then you don't have one. You state 'another' which means you already have one or more. Stop being greedy.

Hanrej · Answer

There are really only two options.  Either you accept her being unwilling and hope she'll change her mind later on.  Or you break up.

TheAfrikan · Answer

I happen to find a way to sweet talk her into it. So that she can accept.

OddBeMe · Answer

Tough luck. Give her a break. Maybe ask her about adopting instead of insisting she go through that horror again.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Just demand it. I would just be like im having 2 kids. I have one. You giving me the other or are you going to make me knock your friend up?

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

Deal with it, they’re too expensive and not just in terms of cash greens paper greens cash

altaboy · Answer

I would say that if she doesn't want to have more children, you have to respect her.

UpdateGloomyNights_ · Answer

birth is not easy, if i agree with it, i think the man has no say

YoHoeRose · Answer

Wishing this had more answers!

Mangospacho · Answer

“Forget” to pull out.

HeartFullOfGlue · Answer

Well why do you want another kid?

TrillXHippy · Answer

Nothing. She doesn’t want a kid

KrakenAttackin · Answer

She controls everything.

SnakeBoop · Answer

then its no kid.

FakeNIK · Answer

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What do you do if your spouse Doesn’t want to have another kid but you do?

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What do you do if your spouse Doesn’t want to have another kid but you do?

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