Family & Friends

Should I move? I’m too worried to leave?

I was abused from a step parent growing up and my other siblings lived with my mum. Eventually, I moved in with my mum but I’ve been away from most of my family for most of my life. As soon as I was 17, I moved away for university. Over the years since then my dad split with my step mum.

I came back home last year and so far I’m unsure. It’s been amazing spending time with my friends etc but I have itchy feet. I guess I feel a bit fed up and not sure why. I miss exploring the place I lived in and meeting new people, being myself. Since I’ve been home, all I hear is everyone talk behind my back, judge me over everything, act very petty, they seem to expect me to behave a certain way or to “improve” as a person yet it’s okay for them to talk about me etc.

My parents know it upsets me and tell me ignore it. But if I make a minor mistake I get branded “selfish” or “thick”. I help everyone a lot, I spend most weekends just helping around and when I do go away to to stuff I always feel like it’s short lived and I have to go home. I feel so fed up of having to be the “bigger person”, being judged if I want to enjoy myself or complained at when I help.

I really have been thinking of moving away again, I miss just enjoying life, doing things without people judging or critiquing me. I’ve tried to spend time with them but it makes no difference. They are indoorsy and I’m always outside, I also don’t believe in judging or b*tching. The only thing that stops me is my anxiety, it’s improved massively but I’m scared of it going backwards again. And I’ll miss my friends a lot. What should I do?
Should I move? I’m too worried to leave?
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