Why do people that hated you in HS expect a friendship later on?

[Anonymous]

I've received two friend requests on my FB from these girls that hated me in HS. One of them tried to turn my friends against me and the other spread a false rumor to others.
All of the sudden, they both greeted me with a ''Hey sup girl. How has it been?'' and ''Hey (my name) I was just stopping by to say hi to all those I graduated with. How are you doing?

Meanwhile I'm thinking ''wait a minute, we were never friends, why are you now acting like we're best buddies that haven't seen each other for years''. I haven't replied yet but I feel like sending that message. Why do people like them expect you to pretend nothing happened, expect you to be friends with them later on?

[TenkRealist]

Oh maybe they see you as "superior" now or at a bigger place when compared to them. People who used to mess with me were the first to follow me in Insta once they realised I was getting into Cyber Security and gaining connections with local politicians. Although I don't give bullies second chances.

[Asker]

In that case, that's another good reason to decline a friendship from them. People that are just going to seek my friendship because of my new high status while they're having a miserable time can take a hike. It means they haven't changed at all. They're still with the bullying mentality of placing hierarchy on others and only liking/respecting someone for their status and not for who they are. It means they still have it in them to bully those they consider inferior, rotten people to even associate with.

[TenkRealist]

Yeah. I declined and was pretty cold towards them. I don't like suck ups. I'd rather be alone than have "friends" like that. One girl who was mad against me in high school even insinuated dating me. Because I heard she made some "poor life choices" so yeah, I knew what was up and rejected. It happens when you reach success. All you can do is laugh and move on.

[Andres77]

Because they realized that their horrible behavior in highschool doesn't work in the real world and now they're desperate for friends.
They figured they'd bullied you before so at least you will HAVE to accept them.

[Asker]

That's also another reason to decline a friendship from them. I don't like being someone's last option nor backburner. If they want to be my friend, it would've been more believable if they had searched for me while I was still struggling (while they were still popular) and recognize their wrong behaviors. But searching me when I've already moved on, doing good and only as last resort, out of desperationg? No thanks

[Andres77]

Agreed!

[Crepe_tart]

Honestly, they're just hypocrites. People never change.

[leahzrc]

because they grew up or I don't know damage control

[Asker]

I just find it laughable. They expect me to act like nothing ever happened and just be friends with them. Besides them being girls that gave me a hard time back then, I don't know them personality, they weren't in my highs and lows, they were never part of life, etc. They aren't worth my time.

[leahzrc]

haha well take it as a compliment, they used to act like they were above you, now they ask for your friendship because they realized you were above them

[Mynameisbobby]

I'm graduating from high school this week and people put me through hell! If they ever expect a friendship from me they can kiss my ass. And these girls never apologized right? Pathetic!! You deserve better than them!

[Asker]

Nope, no apology at all. Even if they did apologize, there is a chance it can even be fake since they already know I'm doing good in life. It would've been believable if they had apologized while I was still struggling with forming friends (I had few friends back then), while those girls were still popular and felt bad about what they did because it's wrong, then ask for a friendship... that's the case I would've have given them a second chance. They didn't do that so they can take a hike.

[Asker]

The fact that they only contact or at times apologize when you're doing great in life, are now on top... tells me they haven't really changed at all and still hate you. They just are looking for a friendship with you as last resort, as a backburner and respecting you only for your now high status. They wouldn't have done that if you were still at your lower status nor like you for being you.

[Mynameisbobby]

Very true 👍

[FunkyMonkee]

They tend to grow up after high school!
I've had a number of school bullies that loved trying to beat me up for no reason at all suddenly become my friend a few years after high school.

[Asker]

It would make sense if they actually recognized their behaviors, acknowledged they were trashy and then ask for a friendship (to start all over)... and leave it up to you if you want them in your life or not. Then if you accept... ok then you're on good terms.
But for them to just barge into your life as if nothing ever happened, if they were your best buddies doesn't make sense to me. In my mind, we were not friends and not on good terms.

[FunkyMonkee]

Maybe they turned over a new leaf and have developed a "forgive and forget" attitude. I've actually had it go the other way: a guy i was fairly good friends with in high school severely fucked me over, recently! All the while, acting as if he WAS still my friend!!

[Alcoholic_Wannabe]

I ask myself this same question constantly.

I think in their eyes they've "grown up" and expect you to have done the same.

[888theGreat]

People grow up

[Asker]

If people grow up then an acknowledgement that they were wrong would be the start of matutino... not pretending as if nothing ever happen and expect a sudden friendship.