My grandpa passed away unexpectedly in November, around my birthday, at the age of 82 which is a very young age for death in my family. And all of us expected him to live at least 10 more years.
He was the most important person of my childhood, always made me feel safe and secure. Around him I felt as peaceful as nowhere else and I loved him a lot.
The first month, I cried every night and even went to such dramatic lengths of grieving in a really weird way - like standing naked on a balcony at December night, when everybody slept, just to feel as much coldness as him.
I know that’s weird but at that time it comforted me to know that my body, too, felt extreme coldness. And it made me feel like I was connected to him.
After 2 months, my grief turned less weird and I kind of accepted the fact that he was gone.
However, to this day when I look at his pics, when I remember my childhood and he’s part of most beautiful memories of mine, the shock hits me every time I remember he’s gone and it feels like I still can’t accept or believe it, and the feelings of grief come intensely.
How long will it take for it not to shock me again and again every time I remember he’s not with us anymore?
He was the most important person of my childhood, always made me feel safe and secure. Around him I felt as peaceful as nowhere else and I loved him a lot.
The first month, I cried every night and even went to such dramatic lengths of grieving in a really weird way - like standing naked on a balcony at December night, when everybody slept, just to feel as much coldness as him.
I know that’s weird but at that time it comforted me to know that my body, too, felt extreme coldness. And it made me feel like I was connected to him.
After 2 months, my grief turned less weird and I kind of accepted the fact that he was gone.
However, to this day when I look at his pics, when I remember my childhood and he’s part of most beautiful memories of mine, the shock hits me every time I remember he’s gone and it feels like I still can’t accept or believe it, and the feelings of grief come intensely.
How long will it take for it not to shock me again and again every time I remember he’s not with us anymore?
