What would you do if you had a child and they came out to you as gay/lesbian?

Question

Smashingdoozy · Accepted Answer

I imagine it would go like this:

Child: "Mom this is my girlfriend/boyfriend"
Me: "ok cool, nice to meet you. No closed doors, let me know if you need anything."

I hope to create an environment where my kids don't feel the need to "come out" they can just bring home a boy or a girl and I would be absolutely ok with it, as I would if the person was the opposite gender. Or they could just tell me that they have a crush on a boy or a girl and it would be an absolutely normal conversation because well, it is.

Lyndsielee666 · Accepted Answer

Both my kids are already very aware that it’s okay and I’ll love them regardless.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

I'm childfree, but I'm a sort of cool aunt to a lot of friends' kids and cousins' kids.

How I've handled it is with a calm celebration and an acknowledgement of trust.

I came out to my friends first and their initial "idc" attitude kinda made me feel mixed emotions. On one hand I was happy they didn't change how they interacted. On the other hand, it felt like this big thing to me that took me nearly 30 years to realize was meaningless to them. We talked it out, though, and everything was great.

So now, when my young family comes out to me, I exprees support, encouragement, and gratitude that they trust me enough to share with me their truth.

If they ever want to go to Pride, I'll go with them. If they ever want to go clothes shopping for stuff their parents aren't comfortable getting them, I'll fucking take em.

I've had talks about what does it mean if they feel attraction to someone who is non-binary (increasingly how I identify as well), someone who is the same gender, etc.

I'm there for all my LGBTQ fam. I didn't have that growing up, so now that I'm out and on my own, I want to give that to people I love. Maybe they don't need it, that's great. But if they do I will give them that love and support I wish I had.

lightbulb27 · Answer

at what age? already had one teen say "maybe I'm bi".. because she's impressionable and idiots around her say they are "bi". What's that saying... there's a fool born every minute? Reality is, kids are impressionable and emotional distortions can occur ontop of hormonal ones. She got put back on the right track and is boy crazy and deflects the female "advances"... those sickos. This is why you gotta watch your kids! If anyone actually believes what the average teenage girl says to them, then they are... fools... and the Bible says I shouldn't say that, but can't help it... what else can I say?

Just accepting what a kid says up through early 20's... is total ignorance. I'm sure you will say I am that. Kids can be traumatized which will throw them off course emotionally, and they can be mis lead down paths that are not good for their lives. God only knows what all the drugs and pollution in evironment does to developing bodies. This mating stuff is just hormones + emotional development. There's a bunch of frogs that are screwed up due to chemicals in the enviornment. If something went wrong, need to pay attention, diagnose, try to correct it. Kids have til about 40yrs old to make offspring then thats.. that, boys a little more.

We are though... fighting an uphill battle for this society and world does not want healthy mating pairs. that is obvious isn't it?

ultimately, if they were, they are loved and accepted as is for their life and support them emotionally as we would anyways.

And they aren't even my birth kids.

I know people who have illnesses who put more effort into resolving them than most gay/lesbian... because they don't see it as a problem but reality. That may be true, but in cases I've heard and seen, that is false. Emotional damage is all around. But it's their life, and we all have our issues.

Reem12345reem · Answer

I'm bisexual but I'm afraid to tell my parents , I live in a religious country , so it's actually a sin to be that way , but I can't control it , i didn't decide to be like that , I'm just born with it 💔Sometimes I wish I were normal like other girls , but I'm not actually sure if I'm really bisexual , when I was 10, 11 12 , 13 I was only interested in boys ( emotionally and sexually ) but now i feel sexual attraction towards girls but not emotional , so I DON'T KNOW I'M LOST !! maybe it's just a phase or I'm in my horniest phase lol

TenderFantasy · Answer

Sad but I will accept it. It's going to be harder for her to find a mate. As far as I know, homosexuals or LGBTQ (IA now was added though I do not know what that stands for lol, they keep adding things!), are still in the minority. It's probably a lot better now compared to in the 2000's or older, but still...

Actually, now that I've thought about it, I will still love her. She is her own person and I love her THAT much that I would only want her to be happy and healthy. Peaceful too. I think that is what ANY parent would naturally want for their child. I would be excited to find out how her life turns out and IF she does end up finding someone special AND giving me grandchildren. I would really hope that she grows up normal though to be honest. I would pray for it so.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

Honestly at the rate we are headed at a country, depending on their age and how close they were to exploring, I would consider moving to an area that may not criminalize queerness in the next 5 years.

I want every high schoolers biggest fears to be around grades, does my crush like me back, and what do you think of my outfit.

I would want my child to be supported and to be able to experience a failed high school romance like 95% of everyone else and not have to worry about getting bullied, attacked, or how new laws can impact the above 3 things.

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

Nothing, what should I do, throw them a parade? Seriously, one of my kids coming out as gay, is as about as important to me as one of my kids coming out as wanting to be a firefighter and not wanting to be a psychological Doctor! Like her/his mother! Being gay is absolutely NO big deal, and anyone who think it is, IS the problem.

Kittykay_45 · Answer

I wouldn’t do anything because my child would have to come out. They can like who they want date who they want as long as there at appropriate age and gives proper respect. We don’t have crazy gender norms in our house. If you like something or dislike something that’s perfectly ok

kitty71 · Answer

I have a cousin who is gay but he had never came out and he is closeted. He is 54 years old living with his mom as he still is single, he does not have kids and he is not married and barely is social, he looves being stucked at home watcfhing TV or use the comnputer but he does work outside home. Due to he hardly goes out of the house he had became very fat as well.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Literally nothing.

i don’t need to, there is support there irrespective of what decisions are made.

it’s always been a case of freedom of expression, beliefs etc.

my sister is bisexual and my daughter has known this her entire life, it’s never been hidden, ditto with my friends who are gay, lesbian.

I really don’t have to anything.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Probably about the same as a child coming out as Heterosexual. That's nice dear, and move on.

Besides a lot of kids don't really understand or know things and will change their mind later, so no point in focusing on it.

I personally don't think anyone needs to come out, I don't tell anyone (for the most part) that I'm heteroflexible, none of their business.

letuswaltzforthedead · Answer

I wouldn't care as long as they're planning to have kids (I know IVF/sperm or egg donation/etc aren't cheap but I'd honestly would be willing to help). Beside that, I wouldn't care. If they're younger, though, I would advise them to wait before doing anything just to make sure.

FriendlyDrugDealer · Answer

To be honest? I’d crack jokes to ease the tension of the moment but follow up with I don’t care , you're still my child and my love for you will never change unless you start wearing a The New England patriots jersey. If you do, that’s a whole different conversation 😂

Kaytiee · Answer

Wouldn't bother me, if they were really young though I would reassure them, but also let them know they're very young and lack the experience to know for sure, so they should make sure they know before they define themselves as something and confuse themselves further. I'm taking 13 and below.

Sonorous · Answer

Well, I don't plan on reproducing... but let's pretend I committed that moral sin:

What would I do? I'd let them know that I would fully accept them & that they should never feel uncomfortable with telling me or asking me anything. That I will treat them the same & they should come to me if anyone doesn't. Because in my opinion, I think we should never be ashamed of being attracted to our own species... We're legit what we've evolved to be attracted to...

Sixgunsound · Answer

My wife suspects my older daughter might be a lesbian. She’s SEVEN for crying out loud! How in the world was that determination made when she doesn’t even understand what that means or much of anything sexual. I think she’s a kid and should get to be a kid as long as possible, without adults projecting their thoughts or feelings onto her.

Tomcat68 · Answer

Assure them that I am ok with it but ask them to keep an open mind while exploring their sexuality. How you are perceived by your parents is important and I just want them to be happy regardless of what that looks like. It’s hard but even harder without supporting parents.

purplepoppy · Answer

If they were young I'd pass it off as a fad, just something kids are into because it's temporarily cool this month. But if she was older I'd arrange some serious dick time to knock the dyke out of her just like porn suggests.

meetkitty123 · Answer

Do you think such a minor admission given one random day of our entire relationship is going to change my love for my child? HELL NO. They're still the same child I gave birth to and loved every day since.

Literalbillionaire17 · Answer

I support the LQBTQ+ completely however I feel like its a harder pill to swallow when your child is. I don’t know how I would deal with the situation. I would of course love and support my child but I think it would just be hard for me to except at first.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

Probably be shocked, but still would love them either way. Wouldn't be the first family member of mine that turned out to be gay. To go with that, I wouldn't curse God out or demand a do over child either if that's what people expect.

sea_09 · Answer

I would have a talk with them about how we don't support that stuff as Christians, That it's ok if other people wanna believe it but it's not what we believe. That God made us love ourselves and the gender we are assigned to. That we shouldn't take it for granted and that we should be grateful. But that we shouldn't hate on others for it, if thats what they believe then thats fine, We don't hate on what people believe in and they shouldn't hate on us for not supporting lgbt. ❤

MikeInHawaii · Answer

I had a friend who was really into fashion, sold men’s clothes, loved Broadway shows and had Calvin Klein men’s underwear ads decorating his dorm room. After I’d known him nineteen years, he came out of the closet. My reaction, like every other mutual friend’s was “No shit!”

I’ve heard it called “being in the glass closet,” when you don’t admit it, but everyone knows.

WindAtMyBack · Answer

I sure as hell wouldn't be happy about it. I'd think far less of them. It's possible that I'd never talk to them again.

Jamesshinobi · Answer

i would be greatly dissapointed. i would still love them and speak with them but they would be dissowned from inheritance and forbiden to have any contact with their other sisters. if they disobay they will be delt with.

Cherry234 · Answer

I would support my child. I would encourage him/her to be with the person he/she loves.

Blackcosmo · Answer

I don't know.  I wouldn't put them in conversion therapy or kick them out.  I would still love them just as much.

Sarahr123 · Answer

I know you’re wired to be gay or straight or bi but as a straight woman I would rather have straight children and if they’re not straight I can’t do anything about it because that’s just how they are but I would prefer a straight child.

Hawner · Answer

I wouldn't mind at all. I would probably ask him/her a couple of questions, give some general advice about sexuality... Not much else. Love is love, no matter who you get from or share it with.

josephinelcajon · Answer

I would fully support and love them, but I refuse to take them to pride events or make them feel special about it. I want them to be happy and enjoy life not put labels or stress over it. It's no one's business but their own.

menina · Answer

I probably would be a little bit surprised or shocked at first but I wouldn't hate them. They would still be my child and I would still love and support them. As long as they're decent human beings and not criminals, it's all good to me.

Guy__ · Answer

My child wouldn't know what gay is until they already decided they're not.

SaartjieJane · Answer

Would still love them of course but I still don’t support that stuff but I also doubt my kids would

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I'd tell them to be the best version of themself they can be and to be weary of people who want you to tell you what it means to have your orientation.

slatyb · Answer

That happened, sort of. My kid asked me “What if I, gay?” And I basically said “What if you are? I just want you to be happy.”

bean2k21 · Answer

They can go to Ellen DeGeneres' house and see if she'll put food on the table.

Apulu_Imback · Answer

I will still love and support them but I will still be in doubt though. Many weird people are making young teenagers confused about their sexuality.

crossdressingrihno · Answer

Uh not much. I don't see being gay as a Big deal

katiesmuff · Answer

Wouldn't love them any less and would support there decision as they are being raised to think for themselves.

Sparkie460 · Answer

I'd still love and accept them for who they are. They are still my own flesh and blood. I wouldn't treat them any different than if they were straight.

Lycanthropic · Answer

I guess deep-down I'd be disappointed if my son was gay, but not because it's his fault or anything. It's just something we won't be able to really relate with and talk about much.

But to answer your question directly, I wouldn't do shit.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Carry on my day as normal. I don't care what they are into, as long as they are happy.

Espresso-Grande · Answer

I'd be supportive.  My love for my own child would be unconditional.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Nothing. I'll tell them to use protection and not be annoyingly loud if anything happens at home.

goaded · Answer

Why should I do anything? It's really not a big deal. They know I'm not going to be upset anyway, so there's nowhere for them to come out from.

Spotifyplaylist · Answer

I would tell them that I love them to matter what and support them. (I am Lesbian by the way)

skeetskeetskeet · Answer

Well more than likely I'd already know... you can always spot the gay kids

sheikalana · Answer

I would love them, support them and respect them no matter what.

420Rachel · Answer

Then I would have someone to go shopping with! 🛍️😎

hhadeshatesme · Answer

Love them the same as if they were straight. I think it’s weird to treat it as a big deal.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

Nothing. Gay, straight, bi makes no difference. 2nd if as a parent you don't already know then I question how much of a parent you actually are.

OfDeath · Answer

I'd send him to military school. He would probably enjoy it with all the other boys. If it was my daughter? I'd send her to finishing school. Same logic.

GrapeApe98 · Answer

Hug them, and tell them how proud I am that they confessed that to me, and tell them that I'll always love them no matter what and hope they'll find someone who'll treat them right.

Msputiton · Answer

What's there to do? Tell them okay and i love them

Jesterteddy66 · Answer

The only thing I say is whoever they are I would love them and who ever is their partner better be respectful and nice to my kid or else. I won’t accept abuse and I won’t want that for my child. Be adult and not a child.

Loan__ · Answer

I think my children would not have to come out. I will try to set an education where there is no issue with their sexual or romantic orientation. They have just to present me their beloved one, and I will be on with it

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

I wouldn't like it, but they'll always be my son/daughter no matter what

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

Oh dear God, I don’t even know….. throw a Cross in their face?

FinneasWilson · Answer

If I had a child who came out as any part of the LGBT community I would support them, they're my child.

Valso · Answer

Considering I'm bisexual myself and I'm not hiding it, what do you think I'd do? I'll support them in any way I can, ofc!

Jouth · Answer

Tell them I love them no matter what. Then make silly gay jokes once we're all comfortable with it lol

What would you do if you had a child and they came out to you as gay/lesbian?

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How would you respond if your child came out gay?

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How would you respond if your child came out gay?

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